Reasons you will hate me

Friday q and a #89.

Yes, the blog is lagging somewhat given the rather tumultuous stirrings currently taking place in my never dull existence, but when I've got the time I like to stay at Travelodge answer a few of these here Friday questions. You are nice people for being nice, you guys.




Also: isn't it charmed when these q and a's pop up when you least expect them? You'll be kept on your toes around this joint, make no mistake.

Linzer said...
Good.

Please tell us some other little Bob Ellis anecdotes. That's cute to think of her 'looking glum' while you're in the bath. When you're on the toilet, does she nudge the door open and look around at you slyly? My dog does.

Usually she just stares dolefully at me no matter what I'm doing, until I finally stand up and life begins at forty to appear more caninely interesting. Much leaping about and excitable growling ensues, with occasional dragging of buttocks against carpet.


Her, not me. OBVS + LOL.

The Last Scientician said...

Absolutely glorious.

Fenz said...
yay Gotye!!
I'm glad I stayed up to watch, now it's off to sleeps to catch up on the nights sleep I missed out on last night!!

Wasn't he wholly wonderful and full of innate sweetheartedness? Shoeless ARIA collecting and all. My mother called me up for much shrieking and exchanging of good feelings when the award was announced. Lord bless his grinning angel-like visage.

Ben said...
Well I have to showcase them somewhere, nobody else seems to be listening. Pregnant Penny PI is a show about a young female sleuth who solves baffling crimes with the help of her superintelligent talking foetus. Feel free to mention this to Kerry Stokes next time you're out with him. That goes for all of you.

Garry Trudeau is the creator of Doonesbury. Don't know if you would like him; you'd be in tune with his politics, but you may or may not take to his humour.

I will send you my article, just in case it doesn't suck. If it sucks, I apologise. I also apologise for wasting your time with all those questions, I feel bad now.

So just one question: Who's your favourite poet?

Also, we had a very pleasant evening, and Bevis is firm but gentle.

My favourite poet is probably e.e.cummings. I'm really not au fait with much poetry. I should explore more, I know. It's just that I get a bit caught up trying to invent interesting new names for readheads with which to publicly refer to my Tequila Sunrise-hued beloved.



Grand news about Bevis; I had my fingers and toes crossed for you both.


look:

BEVIS said...
Like a fox!

Gracious. Is anyone else getting muggy under the collar or is it just me?

So-fee-ah said...
Wow, I hopped on to request you cover the glorious car wreck that was the ARIA Awards last night, but seems you're already on it. Nick Cave and his drunken unofficial induction of the Bad Seeds was marvellous, I especially enjoyed how scared of him Rove looked when he walked on.

And of course Gotye + Learnalilgivinanlovin + many coloured balloons = absolute highlight.

Anyway, this comment is now a little defunct, and has no question involved at all, but still. Mad props to Sarah Blasko.

I would be a bit scared of Nick Cave too. What a pleasingly grumpy old bastard. He was like Chopper after a concerted few weeks of Lean Cuisine and looked ready to bite the heads off the Veronicas on his way out. More of this from our rockly stars, please.

Kaleu Big said...
Perhaps you could limit your talent to the 10 best questions. All should dig for your devotion, like Rammsteins miners do for snow white. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfHlA3fmJG0.
It’s only fair, you ain’t cheap, r ya ?
If you choose this path fitshopper. What would your selection criteria be for choosing who to respond to?

I wouldn't really know how to tackle that I guess. I do try to just answer everything commenters ask, even when it's something I may find confusingly insane. If I end up having to cull (usually these days it's a timing thing and I just stop abruptly when I'm jack of it), I'd rather just do it out of convenience rather than rating worthiness or lack thereof of queries. Remember, there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers. And I am the hands-down king of stupid answers.





p.s. I am cheap. Hideously so. You should catch a whiff of my perfume and witness the screeching harlots I call my female friends.

Pellucid said...
[not really a proper Friday question but anyway] Hey Fits, what's going on with the Polichicks website? I cannae open it and I wish to buy some snappy merchandise! Is it down or is it me?

I think it's just you, Pellucid. And I say that with utmost respect. Try again here and see how you go.



We have some exciting new stick-on temporary tatts like this one which I love





and will be switching the focus towards our new ranga deputy as a fashion icon. Enjoy.

A nonny mouse said...
Do you like Sufjan Stevens? Not for sharing of lime cordial and biscuits, I mean his music.

Have you read Smithereens by Sean Micallef? It should really replace the Gideon's Bible in my opinion.

Have you watched Dexter (Showtime, America)? I think you would like it, but then it's not like we have broken bread together or anything. Lavosh?

What is your credit card number and expiry date?

Hey nonny no,


1. I only know two songs of Sufjan's and enjoy their melodic stylings very much, though they do occasionally make me rather miserable. Is that the intention?


2. I have not, but will do so immediately. I was allowed to speak to Mr. Micallef live on Vega fm a few weeks ago and no-one hung up on me or called security to intervene. Living the dream, folks.


3. No. I am an ignoramus when it comes to television; a fact which should be mind-numbingly obvious when it comes to my columns ZING.


4. No thank you, I just ate muesli.


5. Cheeky.

djali said...
Simon says I can't drink Coopers anymore because Coopers supports the Libs ... somehow.

"No, not even Coopers Green," he says.

Can this really be true?
Simon also says that there are shapeshifting lizard men in the shape of the British royal family and that United States foreign policy post September 11 is all part of a reptilian conspiracy to corupt humanity, and Bush is either a servant of the reptilians or a shapeshifter himself.
Should I just tell him to stay away from the msg for a while or is there some sense here?

If he's right then what am I to drink at my next election party?! Another pale ale simply ain't gonna cut the butter.

Sadly as I have let these questions sit and simmer for the better part of a month, elections have come and gone (o happy day) and with them parties and imbibery and all kinds of political-related tomfooling. I have no idea whatsoever if Coopers supports the Liberal Party of Australia. If they do they're probably the last people on the planet admitting to it, since even Janette Howard has come out and publicly stated she voted for K07 on November 24th*. I guess it's easy to become caught up in that shrill left-wing OMG HOW COULD YOU EAT DAIRY DON'T YOU KNOW CHEESE ONCE VOTED FOR MENZIES-type finger-pointing that makes you feel guilty every time you shop at Portman's or what-not and yes, we each have our own personal 'Coopers' (I still can't bring myself to patronise Bimbo Deluxe as I am a sad old bastard) but don't let Simon's cunning conspiracy theories get you too excited. This is beer we're talking about, after all...a little reverence wouldn't go astray.









*pompous and glib statement may not be entirely factual.

Langie said...
Gorblimey Djali, this is serious-Coopers supporting the Libs. Ye Pale Ale don't taste the same no more, it's that bitter cloudy bit at the bottom of the bottle that must be Essence of Howard.Yukkiepoo!
So it's back to Mr Fawkes Exploding Home Brew, or Tequila Slammers at dawn, just to give your day a greener hue. Or maybe you STEAL the bottles of Coopers Pale in the cause of Political Correctness- thereby avoiding pouring your boodle into the coffers of the Wibberals.
It was patriotic act, constable.

Or, alternatively, you could get so excited that you turn into a not uninteresting deranged literary character and stomp your way around a paragraph with a few colourful neologisms. Each to their own.



Also:

karen said...
djali: Get your friend "Them" by John Ronson. Read it yourself first in that sneaky way you do when you're horribly cheap and desparte to read a book your shortly gifting (or happen to stumble across the Christmas present stash in the top of your parent's wardrobe with your sister). ie carefully opening it to an angle that just allows you to read the pages without putting any tell tale creases in the spine. And always with clean hands.

This could go the opposite way intended and convince your friend and turn you onto the truth, might and power of the lizard people and all those other consipiracies, but hopefully you'll both just fall in love with Mr Ronson and laugh your self stupid at his mad-cap scrapes and shenanigans with the loons of the world.

Fitsy: do you have Ronson love? I haven't checked in with his column on The Guardian website for many a month but it used to be an essential part of my every Saturday when I lived in the land of the Guardian and could pick a fresh and timely copy up from my corner store. Bless the interwebs and all but I much prefer pouring over an actual paper on a lazy weekend rather than hunching in front of a laptop.

What is a Ronson? Why am I so ignorant? Is this thing on?


I'm with you on the paper vs. laptop debate...there's little more satisfying than making a mess of a breakfast table with the insufferably numerous supplements before spending a few happy hours defacing Robyn Riley's dinkus with a ballpoint pen. It's not the same when you draw biro moustaches on your computer screen; they're a fucking cunt to remove.

miss fox said...
Not so much a question, more of a "proud mama" moment. The little guy (aged 7) has decided that he MUST vote. As he says "I don't like the boss of our country. He's been making really bad decisions for us". I'm extra pleased because he came to that decision on his own (I promise!). Do I get extra parenting points for raising a lefty?

Lord bless your tiny bean and his revolutionary stirrings; we corrupt them young these days. I'm not sure if you can claim your Parenting Points 'til he's survived adolescence and made it through to voting age without suddenly announcing that he loathes you and your politics and has decided to run as a Family First candidate on a platform of anti-faggism. Remember: he will one day be a teenager and at that point he will grow an extra head. Batten down the hatches.

jh said...
Amanda Palmer or Martha Wainwright?

'For Better or for Worse' or 'Calvin and Hobbes'?

Richard Di Natale, Natasha Stott Despoja or Kerry Nettle?

Peggy Frew or Ollie Browne?

Dennis Kucinich or Ralph Nader?

Rammstein or Kraftwerk?

Lectern or lecturn?

RRR or PBS?

Does that mean you're previously disposed and are unable to hand out HTVs on the 24th for like-minded independents or similar? What if it would make the difference?

Hola,


1. I don't know Amanda Palmer, so I'd have to go the foul-mouthed Wainwright. I do so enjoy a lady who knows how to curse.


2. For Better Or Worse. I have grown up with that family. I'll feel wretched when they call it a day and stop drawing the strip in real time.


3. Queen Spot Destroyer, please.


4. Peggy. But it's close.


5. Dennis. They've both got glorious surnames though, don't they?


6. Kraftwerk. It's that pocket calculator song which tips me over the edge.


7. Lectern.


8. Triple R.


9. No HTV handing for me last Saturday, I'm afraid...though if I was told that it might 'make all the difference', I possibly would have hauled arse and made my way to the hustings, no doubt wondering all the while how Kevin's success had somehow all boiled down to the efforts of a 31-year-old Melbourne writer in knee-high boots.

Jack said...
It all very well choosing not to date a Liberal - how about when your son goes and joins the young liberals...I feel such a failure...should I boot him out and disinherent him?

Probably, yes.







Sorry for your loss and all that, but honestly. Have him put down.

Anonymous said...
You lefties are so intolerant.

As if! I DONATE TO WORLD VISION.

fern said...
what will we do IF at Queenscliff on November 24th we're confronted with the fact that we still live in a country with the majority of voters are complete retards?

seriously... what will we do?

*shudders*

Gosh, answering questions with hindsight is a lovely thing.


Did you have a nice time at Queenscliff? My parents were there. You might have seen them forming a conga line during Paul Kelly's set. My ma was the one with the leopard-print knickers on her head shrieking THE KING IS DEAD LONG LIVE THE KING.



Back to the RYWHM kiddies corner:

miss fox said...
fern and jack - there is hope for the future. The latest joke from aforementioned 7 year old:

"why did john howard run into a brick wall?
because he was riding john's bike"

the explanantion: "john howard stoles john's bike and he didn't know what he was doing and stealing is wrong and he is wrong so he ran into the wall"

This is where I pinky-swear (again!) that I have not indoctrinated my child with lefty wisdom. Perhaps it works my osmosis? If that is the case, should we simply lurk around right wing havens and hope that science does the trick?

See, you think you haven't indoctrinated your child with lefty wisdom. But standing over his bed at 2am and whispering: 'Julia Gillard is your real mother' is bound to have some effect eventually.

jh said...
Re: miss fox - can we just give 7 year olds the vote?

Oh, now there's a capital solution. Free heelys to all those who still wet the bed, and tax cuts for nose pickers. THINK IT THROUGH, JH.

Lou said...
Surely if a 7 year old can make such a decision, possibly by osmosis, then subliminal messaging would work on the 'lil Johnny supporters that seem to have less mental capacity than a 7 year old.

Grab your tapes people!!! (As you can see I am quite partial to the subliminal thing...)

Also, after a lovely night of wanky cocktails, nice gin, I ran away to a seedy dive bar, I found out he loves Johnny. He was taller than me and everything! (this should clear up last week's ambiguity, I am an amazon woman.) I had to shower and scrub myself clean, I felt so guilty given the current water situation. But the filth, the filth!

Cursed lanky conservatives, being all winsome and coquettish. Perhaps he's changed his mind after last Saturday, anyway. I haven't heard a peep from the rival camp except for a faint bit of bleating about how hard done by they were. The poor darlings.

Nona said...
Most appalling person ever:

http://www.glamour.com/sexmen/blogs/alyssa/

Oh, I don't know Nona. Genghis Khan was a bit of a poor party guest.


Although I must say any man who writes like this:

'I stayed home last night, watched a DVD and cuddled with Speedy. It took him a week or so to warm up to me, but the two of us are now inseparable. After last night I could totally understand the mentality of someone who is utterly content being single, home alone with a cup of tea, a good book/movie and a sweet kitty purring near-by. Very relaxing'


pretty well deserves a kick in the nuts, with added extras. What a fuckbag.



Also:

ButtHead said...
Nona. I guess you have not come across Tucker Max? He makes your guy look pale in the appalling stakes. I particularly "enjoyed" this post:

http://tinyurl.com/y34tn8

Or else, just use the front door:

http://www.tuckermax.com/

'That summer I experienced every random sex situation that a 20 year old can imagine: fucking on the beach, getting head from random girls in club bathrooms, sleeping with 3 different girls in a day, getting so drunk I passed out during sex, getting arrested for receiving fellatio in the pool at the Delano, blah, blah, blah...Jesus. What does it say about how fucked up my life is that I don't consider these stories to be extraordinary anymore?'


Well, we've all done it haven't we? Some of us just keep it to ourselves as we are ladies employed by upmarket newspaper makers and public broadcasters.

Nona said...
ButtHead - that's funny, Tucker Max made my blood boil last year, but I had completely forgotten about him.

The other one is Oscar Humphreys - we used to keep that interview he did in Sunday Life on our fridge, for those times we were just dying to be outraged.

The only good thing I can say about Tucker is that at least he knows he's a douche.

Oh, isn't Oscar a peach? Gracious me. There's an 'apple/tree' idiom here just waiting to be used, but I'll keep it to myself from now as I'm currently sitting in a fucking airport and feeling rather self-conscious.

Anonymous said...
http://www.theage.com.au/news/federalelection2007news/hawkes-backhand-vote-for-turnbull/2007/10/30/1193618887025.html


hot?

'FORMER Prime Minister Bob Hawke has endorsed Malcolm Turnbull to become the next leader of the Liberal Party — in the NSW State Parliament.'



Heh. Ex political leaders are so adorable when they throw their opinions into the big boy ring. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, PAUL KEATING.



More Bob:

timboy said...
Dear fits

Your thoughts in relation to Bob Hawke esquires dress sense as revealed by the Australian Financial Review this week:



Do you think this little number was chosen by Blanche, or is it an Eighties hangover gifted by Bondy following Australian victory in the 1983 America's cup

Would you vote for a man that dressed like that (or maybe more to the point would you buy Gold Coast property from a man who dressed like that)?

thoughts and ruminations please

I think he looks splendid, actually. I am a fan of the sartorially experimental and currently in love with someone who occasionally dresses like an ageing roué with learning difficulties, so Bob's pant-wear gets a massive thumbs up from me. The sooner we get K07 out of the restrictive ties and into some pastel leisure suits or a terry-towelling romper, the better the ALP will be.

ButtHead said...
@timboy

You went there.

YES!!! Regardless of dress sense I would have Hawke over KRudd or Howard in a heartbeat. And thanks for making me take the extra step to a Paul Keating resurrection fantasy. I hold you responsible for my half mongrel.

Ms Fits. Please, please, please drop "paramour"!!! You have worn it out! It is threadbare and chafed like your red nut's cock must be!

Just sayin'.

Namaste

I do tend to overuse words once I get a bit keen on them, yes. Can you guess the current one I'm flogging to death in columns and blog posts? A free drink for the first who picks it. Anyway, I'll cop your criticism (particularly as you ended it with a peaceful John Butler-type chillaxo phrase, hippy) but can't promise it won't creep out again as I have a limited repertoire and am naturally very lazy. Love me or leave, friends.

DJKL said...
My question is to do with politics. As I live in the Liberal stronghold of Julie "Bung-eyed Bint" Bishop, what can I do to really make my vote count? The way I see it, no matter what pencil mark I make on the day, my vote is essentially wasted, as ol' Bung-eyed Bish is going to romp it in anyway. Is there anything positive I can do, besides essentially achieving a one-to-one cancellation of my father-in-law's vote?

Ol' Bung-Eyes is having a field day since her meteoric rise to fame as the next big lady deputy, in a move that in no way reeks of Liberal party 'me too'-ism and should simply be viewed as a way of saying thanks to all the fly bitches who keep Doc Nelson 'real'.

Anonymous said...
do you think kevin rudd's eating of his own ear wax will be detrimental to his chances of becoming PM?

As one of his faithful followers, even I was grossed out...

And I had a disturbing dream last night in which he was forced to step down as ALP leader. no joke. what does this mean? that i'm too involved in politics?

Also i've heard you a couple of times on triple j and your voice was not at all what i expected!

Why, what did you expect my voice to sound like? It's irritating and full of swears, a lot like my writing. Surely you had some notion of its grating qualities.



With regard to your other query, I give a resounding NO. I like my Prime Minsters real and full of human fluids. I also support those who recycle. K07, keep on keepin' on.




p.s. I dream about politics too. We are dorks. Get used to it.

skips said...
Your link for six foot hick is incorrect. You scared me there for a second. I't actually http://www.myspace.com/sixfthick.

I do apologise, skips. I hope those handsome brothers will forgive me and allow me to stroke their naked flesh next time they land in town.

Sam said...
MS FITS

I am having a MORAL DILEMMA. I've just discovered - thanks a lot, Facebook! - that two of my very close (but relatively recent) friends are sincerely actually for-real going to vote Liberal.

I love these guys! It hurts me to think of - I don't even want to think about it! And whenever they're all "O BUT HOWARD HAS SAVED OUR ECONOMY ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN RUDD LOL" I can't think of any kind of reasoned rebuttal because I'm too busy staring slack-jawed at such devastating demonstrations of dumbitude in what I regard as Quite Clever People.

What do I DO? What can I SAY? Is this grounds for cancelling our friendship?

As I'm quite sure this conundrum is not unique, anyone else who wants to throw advice my way is more than welcome.

Look, I've had similar questions directed at me before, and must again point out that I am a close-minded moron who waves her tiny flag of moral outrage like the worst kind of stampy-feet twit, so it's really up to you if you want to remain on friendly terms with your right-wing compadres. Given the current moral devastation they're no doubt experiencing (your heart just bleeds, doesn't it? Excuse me while I light yet another post-coital cigarette), you may want to reach out a sympathetic hand and stroke their hair while they sob into their flirtinis. On the other hand, they made their fucking bed. Bite it, arse jockeys.

kp said...
Unbelievable how some of you would stop benig friends with someone just because they vote differently to you.

My political beliefs are very important to me, kp. Also I am a bigot.



Anyway, lou puts it far more beautifully and passionately than I:

lou said...
But kp, it's not 'just' because they vote differently, it's because the way you vote tends to reveal a whole hell of a lot about your moral values and what you care about. I, for example, would prefer not to hang out with people who prioritise, say, small government and business issues over state-funded health and education, and who believe it's justified to discriminate against minorities and the vulnerable for the sake of 'national security' Right now, this happens to typify the Liberal-voting mindset in this country, and so I am unlikely to want or have a friend who votes Liberal.

*applauds*

kp said...
That's just how you see the political divide. Liberal voters (and I am not one) interpret things differently.

If you can't see that, then you don't know your own limitations.

Do too.




And:

lou said...
I am very well aware of my own limitations, thankyou. I am also one of those irritating post-modern constructivists who choose to see the world my own way.

Care to enlighten me as to your interpretation of the 'political divide'? I'm for serious...

Over to you, kp.




My, this is engaging isn't it? I must remember to buy a coke.

Joseph said...
Could you use your investigative wiles to find out the key ingredient in a Bomb fake-sausage roll? It surely must be animals of some species or another.

jh's questions are hauntingly good, well done sir/madam. (Pass, B!, C!, B, A, Pass, A, B on Sunday mornings, N/A).

Oh dear. A food question. I shall forward it to my scientific friend Sugar and have her do some tests in the RYWHM lab. THAT'S RIGHT I HAVE A LAB.

BEVIS said...
"1. I can't believe you sought out Christie Mackay on Facebook, BEVIS. That's troublemaking 101 right there. LET IT REST.

2. That depends. From what? I'll most likely be in Tamworth for the country music festival in January, so I'll be sure to do some nosing around between rabid bootscooting sessions."


... nosing around, trying to track her down ... armed with GUNS, I take it?

Correct. Now leave me to continue my evil plans in peace.

Anonymous said...
Can you tell me about your boyfriend?

What do you wish to know, Anon? He is six years younger than me, plays guitar, grew up in the country, and is one of the funniest, warmest, most eccentric, patient and exciting people I have ever met in my life. He also looks unbelievably classy in a suit.


You will have to ask more specific questions if you wish to know more. I'll just get giddy and poetic and annoying if you leave me to my own devices.

larson_b said...
don't you just love him?

http://www.realfooty.com.au/news/news/rocker-fronts-roo-resistance/2007/11/01/1193619059504.html

I do love Tim Rogers, very deeply. Something tells me we're destined to one day exist in a blissful open marriage with children named Zappa and Pagan, but it may be some years away and borderline illegal so I'll just squirrel it away for now.

Nick said...
heya, on tuesday, i was home messing around and sharing a rose (the wine, not the flower), and i received this sms about being in a japanese establishment and the "divine ms fits" was on the next stable. and i started to think, i had no idea i had shared my obsession on ms fits with this friend. and then i started to think, how many others know about this. and why can't i bump into ms fits on the street. life isnt fair

WHY DID THESE PEOPLE NOT SAY HELLO?


It's very odd to think you've been out somewhere knocking back sake with your bloodnut love and no doubt speaking very indiscreetly and loudly about all kinds of inane matters, only to realise that the people at the table next to you were watching you with a fierce intensity and taking notes. I really must learn to behave when out and about in future.

Duk said...

My 4 & 5 year old sons refer the the Rt Hon PM as...........

......................... THE EGG! ..............................

And we're back to child-world. Kids say the darndest things, don't they?




He really is rather egg-like, you know. Your sons are quite cluey.

Joseph said...

The Herald Sun referred to PG today as 'accident-prone'. Accident prone! Honestly. You make one fucking knock knock joke to Steve Price and all of a sudden half your portfolio is taken off you. Some people have no sense of humour AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT JACKIE KELLY.

Joseph said...
Yes, Richard Wilkins thought it was a joke, but..



Okay I'm done now, carry on.

Heh. You're a clever fucker.

therapy said...
Sorry, fitz, but you're down as "fuck" on my lefty-babe blogger murder-marry-fight-fuck list.

Why are you sorry? Christ, at least I didn't end up dead or punched in the nose. I'm rather honoured, to be honest.

EJD said...
FINALLY! Another woman who recognises the innate sexual superiority of Jon-Cryer-as-Duckie-in-Pretty-In-Pink ( as opposed to Jon Cryer in sad Charlie Sheen "sitcom" vehicle) to the so-called 'brat-pack' heartthrobs of our pre-pubescent years! As much as the transformation of Rob Lowe from neer-do-well, sexually unreliable sax player Billy Hicks in "St Elmo's Fire" to thrillingly idealistic and rather yummy (if completely unrealistic) purist Democrat adviser Sam Seaborn in "The West Wing" (RIP) was distractingly exciting, nothing, but NOTHING, compares to Jon Cryer writhing against Ione's vintage vinyl while mouthing "squeeze her, don't tease her, never leave her". It's pure magic.


Good god - I swear it was the first time I got moist between the thighs, and no one has ever quite measured up since. Thanks for the memories!

Slightly cryptic question: I'm doing my best to help "the cause" (AKA: finally get rid of the rodent, '07). How do I stay sane in the face of faceless apparatchicks?!

Oh god. Your political question is happily no longer relevant, but I can think of no greater note to end on than Duckie making all us ladies damp in the gusset. All hail his sublime gorgeousness, and I'll do my best to forget that episode of Two And A Half Men I just watched on the plane.






DREAM. DATE. Andie, how could you?




*************************************



Right, I'm off. What a pleasure it is to be back. I'll do some more rejigging and reshuffling to try and fit further old q's back into future posts, but I can't promise this will be a regular thing over Summer. In the interim, leave your questions for next time in the comments below and OH LOOK IT'S NEARLY A WEEK SINCE JOHN HOWARD TOOK IT IN THE BUTT.

38 comments.