Fun for all the family.
HAY LIBRALS!
Needing someone to blame for Saturday's disastrous result? Look no further than RYWHM's handy cut out 'n' keep™ 2007 Blame Card!! It's so easy to convince yourself NONE OF THIS WAS YOUR FAULT!! Simply choose one of the following options, point the Righteous Finger of Blame™, and no-one will ever doubt you or your backwash small-minded policies again!!
1. John Howard
Too old, inflated ego forced him to linger in the job far longer than he should have, backed himself into a corner with arrogant and aggressive politics, misjudged feeling of nation via 'scare' tactics, also: looking increasingly like complete prat.
Remember when we liked him? No, me neither.
2. Workchoices
Didn't sell hard enough, needed shinier advertising campaign with right-wing 'whining woman' to convince workers we had their best interests in mind
3. Political correctness
Hasn't it gone too far/in my day you could call them towel heads and no-one would raise an eyebrow, etc.
4. The media
Here is an excerpt from a real letter to yesterday's Age:
'The world has lost its last statesman and Australians have lost a great leader. It was not so much that Kevin Rudd won, rather John Howard, with the help of a biased media, lost.'
Isn't it wonderful? You may quote from this freely.
5. The unions
BOO!
6. 'That' jocular Muslim leaflet
'Ms Chijoff said she was stunned by the 9.6 percent swing to Labor in Lindsay.
"Well, obviously there was a national swing away and I don't think the events of the week helped with this particular seat," she said.'
How many times? It was a joke, people.
7. The voters
'Nationals deputy leader Wayne Truss said the Nationals' candidates were swamped by the 'Rudd wave' in some seats and 'in the end' the voters 'weren't listening'.'
STUPID VOTERS.
8. Peter Costello
When even Jeff Kennett starts getting stuck in, you know you're onto a good thing.
9. The Injuns
Let's git 'em!
Comments
Oh, the scapegoating...
Oh, the blamestorming...
Oh, the realisation by the Australian people that one thing they really don't like is a smart arse...
Ah, I remember at the 2004 election when you were singing the same tune: 'Mark Latham won the campaign, but lost the election'.
That was adorable.
Marieke, you can feel truly 'joyous' when your party of choice has had an eleven year run with back-to-back election victories. You are the Paris Hilton of left-wing politics. Don't let your vacuity overwhelm you, you uptight little puckered lemon!
PS You are not a good person.
Your post election witticisms should be put on a range of fridgemagnets and marketed as the ideal Kris Kringle present for the gutted conservative/young Liberal/bully in your office/neighbourhood/mother's group/gym/book group etc.
Me? I'm joyous!!11!11one!!
News Limited journos were blatantly biased against Howard. Only last week they were spouting defeatist claptrap like "Labor lead narrows".
epon_anon: I think the pure hilarity is seeing the blamestorming and waiting, with a bucket, for the blood. Coming soon!
And then, after a day of talking up his chances, he returned home to watch an unimaginable scenario become reality. By the time he arrived in the Sofitel Wentworth hotel's ballroom the mood was thick with anger and disbelief.
How could the people have turned on them this way? Hadn't the party given them the best of times? One young man with a torso honed and polished in the gym stalked the floor, big jaw clenched, hurling abuse whenever Maxine McKew's face appeared on the big screen.
"She's an MC, not an MP," he yelled to anyone he caught looking at him.
A middle-aged couple in cocktail dress stood to one side turning on their own.
The wife snarled when Jackie Kelly, the retiring member for Lindsay and the poster girl of the Coalition's 1996 victory, appeared on the television screen.
"Why's she still here?" the woman quipped to her husband.
He spat out a response: "That's bloody ridiculous giving her that attention. Who cares what she says. She's done enough damage."
Whispers of leadership carnage littered conversations. By the time Chas of The Chaser crew infiltrated the gathering and performed a prank pretending to be a union official, the simmering mood erupted with several Liberals being held back from throwing punches as the comedian was escorted out.
Close to the stage Toni Curtis, a slim dark-haired woman from the Pennant Hills branch, was standing with her partner, trying not to cry and both failing miserably. She couldn't believe it. It was becoming clear that the Prime Minister had not only lost the election but lost his seat, too. She pointed an accusatory finger at a couple of reporters and her body began shaking with rage and frustration.
"People are so frigging ungrateful and now they're going to learn the hard way," she ranted.
She shook her head in disgust. Someone patted her on the arm and said it would be alright.
She shrugged off the hand, stamped her foot and began yelling. "It's not all right. It's not all right.
"This man did so much for everyone. Don't you get it? It's just so wrong. I didn't believe the Australian public would be so stupid."
...
~laughs~
My heart has burst with national pride and unending hope.
The rest of you blood suckers can stick it up your tight, conventional arses.
You think they can't do it again?
Afraid of the future, much?
http://preview.tinyurl.com/243msa
My faith in the electorate has been restored a little, but it will take a long time for me to recover from the Tampa and Children Overboard affairs. Two of the most shameful moments in the Australian history of my lifetime, and they were election winners.
I happen to think I'm a rather spiffing person, actually.
pretty pathetic and limp-dicked if you ask me.
and they wonder why nobody wants to play with them?
Call it the Joe Dolce factor. Latham was a bullyboy and Beazley was as new as last Thursday's fish. Australia said: Safe and new? Yes, please.
12. Kyoto, oh no!
Hard to believe we want to keep Woody Guthrie's Dustbowl Ballads strictly as an album. No way for big business to not look bad on this one.
13. War! Ooh...uh! What is it good for?
Abs-lootly nuthin! Say it again!
14. Picking on the little man
And I don't mean Howard. He simply forgot that, even though we dislike bludgers, we also hate a bullyboy government/ corporate structure that treats 'em too mean.
15. There just ain't no cure for the summertime blues
Keep 'em coming etc.
Marieke Hardy is the Paris of politics - lolocaust! She is though - she's an agony aunt counselling hair-twirling hippies about whether you'll catch germs if you kiss someone with different political views from them! That's hot.
Just wondering, do you have a postal address/ postbox I can send something to?
wuv,
- r
(Good evening to ASIO how are now no doubt reading).
I think you are rather spiffing also, but I don't want you to get an inflated ego so I'll only say it once.
What I find most interesting is the response of Liberals who want to fling themselves upon the ground at the harsh treatment the electorate has metered out on Howard. Thats democracy..the politest form of mob rule!!!! The mob has spoken, not with staves and pitchforks but with simple pencils in cardboard booths. I just hope in two, three or maybe four terms, when the electorate decide might is with the right and someone who isn't even in Parliament yet gets handed the democratic trophy on behalf of the believers in all things Capitalist, that we true believers behave better than most of the Liberals who even now are throwing themselves off Westgate bridge......
Vaile gone
hockey in tears
howard gone
huzzah, huzzah
and I used to believe the voters of australia could not do change well
what a joy to behold
Hmmm....
Anyway, the story is, I kind of design/edit a small (tabloid) not for profit left-wing pinko leaning newspaper in Whyalla South Australia called 'the think tank' - and I just wanted to send Ms. Fits a copy of our second issue (an election special) because, well, I love her so.
There, I said it.
It's not, y'know - brilliant or anything - but it'd just mean a lot to me, for some strange reason.
and maybe after that, I could pine for an interview!
Could be a challenge interviewing a person that does nothing but answer lurid questions each week about everything, but hell, I’m up for it!
I actually wrote a rather lengthy love letter a few months ago but I don't think it managed to make it through the 'spamminator'
By the way, do you still need/want business cards?
- Richard
it's meant to be a monthly but I've only been able to afford 2 issues. It's hard finding support, I had to pay for the first one myself - while I was on centrelink benefits!
Managed to print 10,000 of this one and I've received, like, 2 responses so far lol
Poor me etc.
I think you're wonderful. But I am known for my appalling taste.
Meanwhile, I innocently friended someone on livejournal who'd friended me, then I find they've written a post about how great fucking Work Choices is. Jesus.
Can nobody on here count?
16. The S-word
Tony Abbott's Bernie / lateness / bullshit day, JWH's "what apology?" re: interest rates, and K07's promised 'sorry' to indigenous people.
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea culpa....
Ads from the past or Liberal attitudes?
www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=496827&in_page_id=1879&in_a_source=
"I think it's far more significant that she's in such a powerful position despite the fact she has red hair, because everyone knows that people with red hair don't have souls. On Saturday night I was hoping Julia would say: "This is a victory for redheads, 'rangas and carrot tops everywhere."
Me-tooism. It might sound like someone trying to talk at the dentists, but it's actually pretty mean trick...
18.
Pixies, or, possibly, goblins. Seriously, "the necessary conditions for a change of government did not exist", leaving only the SUPERNATURAL as a possible explanation.
Ps. LOLOCAUST! I had never heard that one. Funniest thing ever.
Are you really going to be gracing the airwaves on our national yoof network after Myf leaves??
Triple J, or not Triple J?
Jingle bellls etc etc.
The Tories don't do opposition well because they think they are born to rule, not serve!
The only Liberal I ever felt sorry for was John Hewsen giving up his interest in Macquarie Bank to run for office would have lost him a stack of money. And Keating was the only one in Canberra who genuinely asked after his welfare after loosing the unloosable election (Denton interview with Hewsen) . Remember the blood bath that followed and gave us the "Downer Month"?
Is anyone running a book on the length of the Nelson/Stepford Wife incumbency?
For Tony Abbott, I'll keep saying this till the novelty wears off, it can even be...
Number 20. "Shit happens Tony!"
I have a bad feeling about statements like that. Because of statements like this...
"During last year's election campaign Mr Rudd described working families as the "forgotten people" but the new research appears to paint a contrary picture.
Since 2001, earnings for those at the bottom of the ladder rose more sharply than for those near the top - the top 10 per cent suffering a slight fall from 2001 to 2006."
- labour economist Mark Wooden, University of Melbourne
http://www.news.com.au/business/story/0,23636,23420598-462,00.html
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