Reasons you will hate me

GUEST POSTER #4 - CLEM BASTOW

(RYWHM says: You haven’t really lived until you’ve seen Clem Bastow in hotpants. I like that not only does she have a way with words, she also has killer taste in music. She looks like an incredibly hot blonde but is a secret nerd and I adore that about her. If you see her out and about, you might want to touch her a bit.)

Together In Electric Dreams

There’s a great moment in my favourite movie (well, one of them), When Harry Met Sally, when Harry and Sally are walking through Central Park, discussing their recurring sex dreams. Sally recounts hers and Harry incredulously responds: "A faceless man rips off your clothes... and that’s the sex dream you’ve been having since you were twelve?" Well, he’d have a field day with my sex dreams. Much to my chagrin, I’m seemingly unable to dream about bodice-ripping escapades with the objects of my genuine affection (oh, how I’ve longed to romp with Orlando Bloom in the subconscious realm, clichéd as it may be...) - however, that’s not to say that a surprise dream visit from a particular person might not lead to a recurring (if completely inexplicable, in some cases) fondness in the real world. In other words, some folk make such good dream lovers that you’ll willingly continue to crush on them IRL, despite the relative embarrassment of having to publicly admit to such affections. Confused yet? So am I. Let’s begin!

Sylvester McCoy:


Okay, I can kinda understand this one. I was majorly in love with the seventh Doctor (Who, of course, stupids) from about grade one until grade four. I used to fantasise more, in fact, that his first sidekick, Mel, would get killed by The Rani. Or anyone, really. I think I actually drew pictures detailing her demise in art class. As such, I’ve never really had any X (or even MA) rated action from the Scottish fop, but he insists on appearing time and time again. Matters, no doubt, will not be helped by having interviewed him yesterday and his having greeted me by announcing that he was lying in bed talking to me. I am so going to the Tardis tour.*

David Tennant:


He was totally hot (in a mental, teenagery way) in Takin’ Over The Asylum (see above); cue Year Nine sex dreams. Anyway, I completely forgot of his existence until yesterday, when I realised that he is going to play the Tenth Doctor, after wracking my brains as to who this mysterious “David Tennant” was. Evidently he’s grown up into a “well respected classical actor”. And, I have it on good authority (i.e., from Sylvester McCoy) that he plans to carry out his Time Lord duties in a kilt. Awesome. Anyway, this is what he looks like now:

Score.

William Fichtner:


Yeah, you know you’ve seen him around; he was recently given props in Vanity Fair’s Hollywood issue as being one of "the business’" most dependable character actors. He’s been in Go, The Perfect Storm (SO hot, rent it NOW if you know what’s good for you), American Beauty, countless others, and… some flick with Demi Moore that I’ve never seen. I was sick (feverish) on the couch and watching a video (before I knew Fichtner even existed) and the preview to what Google tells me is called Passion Of Mind (and I’m sure it’s as ghey as the title suggests), which was some kind of torrid love story of a Sliding Doors ilk. Anyway, lo and behold, I drifted off to sleep and who should, ahem, pop up? You got it. He’s one of the freak sex dream guest appearances that has led to a full blown real life crush. Damn his wife to hell.**

Bon Scott:


But you all knew I was hot for him, didn’t you? Of course you did. And the best thing about sex dreams is that there are no STIs in the virtual realm! Everybody wins!

Rhys Ifans:


I’m beginning to realise that I’ll regret this post…



...and now I’ve confirmed it. Seeya, kids!



* - if anyone would like to buy me all of the seventh Doctor’s episodes on DVD for my birthday, I won’t complain…
** - not really, I’m sure she’s GREAT. < / gritted teeth >

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