Reasons you will hate me

Yes.

...my parents do this too. AND they get up early on SUNDAY because that is their watering day.

SUNDAY!

If only things were this GOOD in Sydney. Up here as far as I can tell, it's still okay to water your house down for no good reason. Perhaps people see the rain as dirty.

You're both a bit crackers sorry my love. Cute, but crackers.

Crackers I can handle, so long as there's some above-par cheese.

Maybe your Dad was waiting for you to offer to do the watering??

Cheese. And crackers. Is this what Sydney is doing to you? You must be stressed.

I'm here for you.

Cute story. Similarly, my Dad gets up at dawn to water his garden plot at Collingwood Childrens Farm on 'his day'.

My Nanna does this too! It's so cute.

That little missive brought a tear to my eye! Tell your good father that despite being the co-creator of a raging, though quite nubile, communist, I'll dispatch one of my gardeners post haste.
And dont tell me that you have already headed to Sydney you little red flirt you! Dammit we had an engagement. I bought a container of perfumed mustache wax and I had the old uniform dry cleaned. Heck Harwick spent hours polishing my medals. Oh the pain, oh the ignominy. Brushed off by a beautiful commie...I'll never live it down at The Club. I even promised old Malcolm pictures....

Lovely story - sadly, no matter how anti-establishment people are, they seem to become more conformist as they age. Same thing's happening to my folks. Very nice though.

Lovely story. Enjoy your parents as much as you can while they still walk the earth. Recognize that the quirks you found so annoying in your youth become the very things that draw you to them as they age and then ultimately after they pass on, you recognize in yourself. I hear my fathers voice coming out of me so often now it's scary. Thanks for posting it.

couldn't a friendly neighbour help out? or maybe he really was angling for you to do it

I used to be anti-establishement, then the establishment went and changed on me.

The world is cruel.

How perfectly goddamn delightful it all is, to be sure.

(Somebody had to say it.)

How is keeping with water saving regulations pro-establishment? It's very community spirited, I'd have said.

Any anarchist worth his Ace would have water tanks anyway.

N.B. Brain chemistry changes with age, the chemicals which make young people wild and crazy risk takers are reduced, and the chemicals that encourage familiarity and routine are increased. Sorry kids, you really will end up like your parents.

noooooooooo!

Better than the old cow I saw merrily hosing her garden last Saturday evening ... at 7pm! Good on your old Dad - I'm sure he (and your Mum) will miss you desperately.

Tell your father to install a drip system on a timer and cover it with mulch. This is the most efficient and economical way to water a garden.

Now before all you "community spirited" types howl that the rules say that one must water by hand (I believe they do but I pay little attention) ask yourself this. If your garden tap passes n litres per minute how does requiring "hand watering" reduce consumption compared with a drip system? In certainly decreases the effectiveness per litre of the watering due to evaporation although watering in the mornings or evenings reduces this.

So if shared inconvenience from adherence to ill considered, asinine and arbitrary regulations is community spirited, great, you all go for it. Me? I will heed the prevailing conditions and act responsibly but without adhering to said regulations from some fucktard politician or public servant. At the risk of repeating myself, I will remind you that if public servants or politicians were of greater than average caliber (intelligence) they would not be public servants or politicians. Reject the authority of the Nanny State.

Hey Butthead.
You didn't really get the meaning, and beauty, of the post , did you?
Poor old fella, you.

Warning: the keyboard that typed this comment may also have typed the word 'peanut'.

Frank, I get it that the 'old cow' (and I'd keep in mind that these terms can often come back and bite once we ourselves age) was watering on the wrong day, but what's the problem with 7pm? Isn't it best to water in the evening to lessen evaporation?

Also I don't wish to be churlish but would point out that any sort of hose based watering is banned where I live, as our restrictions are much tighter, and I now have nothing holding down the topsoil, as lawn, bushes and even weeds are struggling for life. Moment for the country folks please.

Fitz, your dad sounds much like my own, who is at present trying to decide whether to install tanks (at much cost) or simply give in to the drought.

I miss my herb garden, and my apricots are little orange shells that are inedible. Please, let it rain!

I could write something about watering and the sensibility and senselessness of the current restrictions, lack of investment in renewing leaking street pipes etc, etc but I won’t bore people.

Instead, I’m distracted because one of my two Basset Hounds (who are snoring loudly as the slumber on the office floor) just did the noisiest fart ever!!! Ahhhhhh! And believe me, it’s totally rank! Yes, I feed them quality top food, not rubbish.

Anyway, Miss Fits, best of luck with your new J cubed gig. You may not have the freckled appendages of the Welsh named one your succeed (I could go on here to compare your pure, milky skin to kosher Nigella’s and your equally wicked sense of humour to the wonderful Catherine Deveny…. But this could distastefully excite some and totally confuse others); however, you’ve got the ravishing tails, the solid political views and the cute, quirky Dad! Good luck Marieke!

Thank you kindly, Mr. Bondstein.



And while I'm here may I also say well picked, teigan. Exceptionally well picked.



Carry on.

You haven't met my mother yet. She's a stickler for rules - won't put food on the table if the placemats don't match the tablecloth and they aren't mathematically distributed round the circular table - exactly the same distance away from each other. Delightful!

People are encouraged to dob in random waterers?

*looks over fence nervously*

And with me still coming down from New Years and all...

WATCH YOUR BACK, SUBS.

OMG Sydeney is boring. I have clicked reload on this page a gazillion times today whilst waiting for my paramour to return and give me oral pleasure.

*curtseys in a 'Crumb'-referencing stylee*

Fits, your boredom and lack-of-oral-pleasure-related frustration is my cheap thrill.

*carries on*

So I was reading Russh today. Stumbled across this, which I found delightfully hilarious, and brought you to mind re: 'coolsie haircutted motherfucker' :

"Changing hairdressers is a major life decision and not one to be taken lightly. To help ease you through the transition, < insert name of trendy hair dresser > is a relaxed yet highly professional salon nestled in Surry Hills. With an emphasis on the individual, this boutique salon is the perfect blend of cosy charm and cutting edge technique. "

Let me repeat for emphasis: "A major life decision".

Heres hoping we don't lose you to Sydney trendiness to a degree where changing hairdressers is a decision synonymous to buying a house

so if i click refresh enough times someone will come give me oral pleasure... sweet! ;)

MsFits, your Dad sounds like a beauty; trying to make his own little contribution to the benefit of the planet. Me, I'm getting increasingly upset with the attitude of the Japanese whalers who, in spite of all our diplomatic efforts remain committed to slaughtering thousands more of those creatures and, as usual, I guess that it's only by threatening their money supply that we can force any change in their attitude.
So, with MsFits permission, I'd just like to let y'all know that there's a site on Facebook: 'Boycott Japanese Goods Until They Stop Whaling' which you can join if you want to add your name to the other folk worldwide who have had enough of the 'scientific research' bullshit.
I guess it's one of the few powers that we have left - how and where we choose to spend our money, so let's use it and hit the buggers in their back pocket, the only place they feel any pain. Unlike the whales.
Right, I've passed that on, now it's back to have another look at that 'Refresh' button!
Happy Nude Year all you blokes and sheilas!

Maybe if your dad was really adorable, he would realise that we're in for the long haul with this drought, and he should give up his garden altogether in favour of conserving water so we have enough in the future when the idea of drinking water is a novelty, and the idea of watering your garden just for the sake of aesthetics (even only twice a week) is recognised as being wasteful and frivolous.

Anonymous, I couldn't agree more. Indeed, I venture that I may be a little in advance of the 'herd' in regards to minimising my water abusage- I'm currently sipping at a brimming mug of myself and my partners blended urine (quite a 'pert' little number this week!). When I think even harder on the concern you've voiced, the whole concept of 'quality of life' is fundamentally flawed!, in that every measure taken to increase perceived 'quality' inevitably subtracts that from some other area/person. For example, I assume the PC you have access to was assembled by someone brown/yellow in somewhere hot, smelly and lacking in minimum wage legislation.
Ultimately, one comes to the sorrowful conclusion that suicide is the simplest and best personal solution to water wastage/planet death.
Friend, I urge you to lead by example.

I think they should bring back the spitton. A marvellous vessel for holding spare spit. If you collect enough you can wash the car with it

Though I suppose some of you may think this is a little old fashioned

I would have given you oral pleasure you little communist....For hours I would have told you my war stories! how about the time I led a charge against a German machine gun post..From the rear of course. Cant have good Officers dying for no reason! Thats the job of the private soldier. Why, you would have been asleep in no time. Then I could have had my evil way with you. Oh well such is life. HARDWICK!!! Where are the dirty magazines..You know the ones that show women in their unmentionables... have you stuck the pages together again???? Damn you man use a kleenex next time........

Colonel, it's time to drop the schtick. It's not funny, or original, or charming.

Why is water cheaper for commercial and industrial (ab)users than it is for residential?

And was I the only one to fall over backwards when I heard that the government is mooting free laproscopic banding for obese children/teenagers? Or perhaps the AMA suggested it (nice little earner that) and the government is considering the idea rather than rejecting it out of hand as they should.

What. The. Fuck. I say tax the bejeezus out of fast food a la other harmful products such as tobacco. Perhaps in conjunction with education campaigns but lets face it most of the low rent fat fucks we're considering here are beyond educating.

You think Sydney is boring? Try living in the fleeping Blue Mountains. I'd kill for Sydney.

Sydney is great. That's just a damn fact. I hope you settled on the Inner West – much nicer than... *gulp* Coogee!

Sydney = boring. As soon as you're out of sight of the harbour it's just about a total shithole. The further west you go, the more that applies. Shit roads, shit trains, shit infrastructure, not enough trees.

Boring Sydney? Boring Blue Mountains? Boring Coogee?

Ahhhh…. You’re all babes at arms. I once endured four and a half years of my life living in the birth-place of Bob Menzies. Jeparit. Makes Dimboola 38km down the road look like a swinging Metropolis. They’ve got a spire there to Menzies’ awarded “Order of the Thistle”, who’s foundation stone my Basset Hounds obediently and gleefully watered every afternoon.

“Roman’s, I command you; let the oral pleasures continue!”

I think Marieke's father is part of the (water) problem, and not the solution.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the Sydney is boring Ms fits may be...

Dun Dun DAAAAAAH

AN IMPOSTER!!!!

She hasn't even arrived yet...

Sydney does have its charms... there's a beach 1/2 an hour out of the city that has splendid scuba diving with large blue fish and though it may be harder to find lefty oriented gin swilling companions than in Melbs we do exist. Though obvs. we're not as well dressed.

James_Bondstein said...

I once endured four and a half years of my life living in the birth-place of Bob Menzies. Jeparit.

Try 18 years here.

You'll regret every second.

I actually really despise those particular city-people with romantic ideas about living in the middle of fuck knows where.

They're attracted to these places for they're 'quaintness', if they ever tried to live in the backwaters they would probably go stir-crazy.

As of course, everyone does.

Of course this is just 18 years of boredom spite talking.

I needs to get the flip out.

I was a drover for a few months between High School and going on the dole (hey it was a recession, get off my case).

Everyone else I met who lived out there in the South West slopes was either not from there, or was completely mental. Or both. Didn't bode well.

James and Shanel, I can confirm that Beulah wins of the three towns mentioned.
Andy, having done both country town and city life, life up here is not for everyone, and sometimes city folks don't understand what they are getting themselves in for. Particularly the lack of services they are used to, such as allied health, public transport, etc. But others embrace the differences and get on well. I guess in my neck of the woods Natimuk would be a good example of this - a thriving small community with as many ring-ins as locals enjoying life at the foot of Mt Arapiles.
James - I think things have evened up between Jeparit and Dimboola as one of the pubs in Dimboola got burnt out a couple of years ago, so it is now a one pub town. Unless you count the lawn bowls club. And Dimboola has the play of course. Although Jeparit is the setting for Carey's Illywhacker. Hard call.

Yeah, the Dimboola pub inferno was a bummer. I've been up there a few times for the rowing regatta, and when more than about 50 people roll up looking for a feed, it tends to paralyse the kitchen in the remaining hotel. From memory, it took them about two hours to get our meals saddled up.

Of course, when I say from memory we were sinking jugs of that shocking rum & cola premix so they might as well have crumbed and cheesed the menu cards.

As for the 'I lived somewhere shite' thread, try Condah in Western Victoria. Once you've stirred up a snake with a stick, thrown stones at the crazy man's roof and played Dig Dug at the pub, that's pretty much it. I served eight years there as a kid.

Aah, Marmalade, as all the RYWHM gals like to coo. I used to love Condah when I was a kid. They had a huge mouse plague and the buggas where everywhere. Fine sport for us young things. Mind you I didn't have to live there.

The second pub in Dimboola is tiny, I can't work out how you would get 50 people in there. Next time get yourselves down to the local chippery, they do a fine line in hamburgers in particular. Burgers of the normal type mind you, don't go expecting dessicated eggplant or anything trendy in them.

for a minute i thought you'd deleted me from your blogroll. i can't begin to describe the coldness in my tummy. after all we've dreamt about each other!

anyway, hello. happy times in sydney to you dear.

mg x

Jeparit, Jeparit! Steaming metropolis of West Victoria. I called into the butcher there one day while passing through. He' d been there a year already, and yet 'the shellbacks', as he called the locals, still weren't prepared to give him the time of day. While we talked the phone rang, and after a muffled conversation he returned to the counter shaking his head and looking somewhat puzzled.
I asked him if everything was OK.
He said, "That was the wife. The cat died last night. She wanted to know whether I want to bury it before or after dinner!"

They have DigDug at the PUB!!!!

Where do I sign?

excuse my ignorance but what is digdug?

Ah, Dig Dug... For those not in the know, you can find out more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dig_Dug

Yes, I am yet another RYWHM tragic who grew up in regional Victoria.

Hey Simon, Cheer up emo kid!

Hey Pplz

I was looking for an answer to the normal arguments you have with your friends during a few beers and with some snags on the BBq. You text the question your argueing about to 199SHOOT on your mobile, and you get a responce with the answer in a few minutes. Its pretty cool. They charged me 2 buks, so its not expensive either

reh