Reasons you will hate me

I'm disturbingly proud to be the first commenter here.

I am 100% certain that I will never be completely happy, because I have trapped myself into intractable ordinariness.

I've got a crush on a blogger ... (sound of no-one being taken by surprise)

Forgive me Father, because I am not so sure that I believe in you any more.

I've got a crush on a blogger too...tried to friend him on Facebook and he wasn't having a bar of it. Sigh.

I'm dating a girl I'm only with because she's hot and I enjoy being seen with her. I'm disgusted with myself.

i'm 22, i've never been kissed and never had a boyfriend. I know I'm attractive and smart and lovely but I'm too shy around guys. I'm worried i'll be alone forever.

I just dropped a French dictionary on my face and pretended it didn't hurt because people were watching. I know that later I'll claim that the black eye I have I got in a fight, which I won.

I masturbate to pictures of myself.

To "100% certain" of never being happy - how stupid! The very fact that you realize you're in "intractable ordinariness" shows that you know you can escape, but choose not to. No one should ever be content to merely survive. And it's always difficult to escape ordinariness, but life IS difficult.

To the person who no longer believes in God - don't worry, your faith will come back on your deathbed (as it does to all of us, it seems).

To the guy dating a chick only because she's hot - yes, you are disgusting. And your friends probably KNOW this is why you're dating her, making you seem even lamer.

22-year-old never-been-kissed: You must be giving off a "get lost" vibe. Try having a few drinks, loosening up a little, and attending a few house parties where you can meet friends-of-friends (the best way to meet people).

Kyle Sandilands - yes you did.

French dictionary - gold.

To "BeKazzled" - you have completely missed the point.

Editorialising the confessions and all...how far we've come...

i'm having an affair.

I recently went through a stage of courting a girl and really believing that I was into her until we slept together where I would then realize the whole situation was a trick of sorts that I had played on both her and myself to satisfy my ego.
I think I am over it now though.

I can no longer sympathise readily with people grumping about living in the city (any city; pick one). 'cos I jumped and I'm painfully happy, although it was bloody painful at the time.

I'm sure my lack of sympathy makes me a very bad person. Except I'm a HAPPY bad person, and surely the two counteract eachother?

(Note: having said this, I can never complain about any negatives of my new rural life, or I shall get poo heaped on my head from a great height from decidedly unsympathetic city people. It's all WONDERFUL. Honest guv :) ).

Dont listen to what I said on stage, I really AM GAY!!

I hated the red taffeta dress that was made for my year ten ball so much that I burnt a hole through it with the iron and claimed it was an accident. Why? Because when I wore it I looked like a Babybel cheese with braces

This act of sabotage almost backfired when my mum suggested sewing a sequin butterfly over the hole. I explained this would be social suicide

So we had to drive 4 hours to get to the nearest fabric shop and my mum spent a week sewing me a new dress which was black and swishy. I've never owned up

When I was 6, I hated my family life so much that I walked around my local streets door knocking...alone, asking if the family would like to buy me for 1cent. No one did.
I am still amazed that I was not abducted on this day.

I'm NOT sorry!

I confess. I sent an unsolicited email (to a fellow blogger) which I thought was incredibly witty and clever ..... until about a microsecond after clicking the send button ...... when I realised just how cringeworthy it really was.

I find Julia Gillard quite sexy!

A few days before my Mum died I had a very strong feeling that something bad was going to happen, in fact I was convinced that I was going to die horribly in a car accident. I was SO relieved when I didn't die, and quite shocked when my Mum did. Now I am terrified that every time I feel something bad is going to happen that I should do something to try and stop it, or warn people. And then I worry that they'll think I'm completely nuts.

P.S. I've tried really, really hard to wish bad things to happen to John Howard. I'm sorry it took so long, and sure, he only lost his job. I'll try harder next time there's a bastard in office.

We've kept our NYE promises.

However, I really need to say to you:

I love you and I'm still in love with you. You are the first thing I think of in the morning, the last thing I think of at night, and a million thoughts in between.

You told me once that you didn't think I could walk away from you. I said I could, if thats what you wanted.

(It isn't what I wanted. Not then, not now. All I want is you. Just you.)

I get the same feelings

i have a really good, well paid job but feel a bit of a failure because my father had done much better at my age, and I'm running out of time

I like the "anonymous" who told me i missed the point and chose not to elaborate.

Bravo!

Its pretty self explanatory BeKazzled. You're supposed to confess. Not comment on other peoples confessions. Duh.

I am secretly convinced Ms Fits did this today to entertain me while I'm at home feeling pitiful.

I have a sinus infection, my snot is fluro green

I feel for the last anon.

Oh, RIGHT... I confess I'm nonplussed by your comment. *leaves confessional*

I am scared that my mum isn't happy with my father and doesn't really love him but doesn't know if she will survive alone.

Anon 11:12 - what were your NYE promises?

I love John Mayer.

A lot.I think his music is fantastic and I like to be nude to it.

I once crashed my car while looking at comets, and didn't realise that it was a rather thick thing to do until I told people about it later. Most people think I'm smart, but I'm actually rather dim. I am so sure I'm going to get caught one day.

Thankyou 11.39. I know this isn't the place or the time, but panadol isn't cutting it. Any tips for extreme sinus pain?

To anonymous with sinus pain - nurofen can help. Sniffing salt and water can also help, although it hurts. Sniff vix, drink lemon honey and ginger. Also you may have a sinus infection, in which case get thee to a dr for antibiotics 'cos otherwise your head will explode. (one of these statements may not be true).

I once had wild sex including anal with an Irishman I met at a disco in Bali. All he had to do was shout at me "have you ever slept with an Irishman?" over the music and I was his. That was the only thing he said, and I went with him back to his place.

I eat babies.

Sinusitis: The response above is correct. A short-term solution, if you're at work, is Mercyndol. Just be prepared for the pharmacist to grind you about why you're buying it, and it might make you sleepy if you're not used to codeine.

I really like 50c ramen noodles, no matter how cheap it makes me look.

I met a friend of some friends at a party a few years ago and we drunkenly hooked up. I asked her if she wanted to have sex, and she said no, but I fingered her anyway. We never talked about it; now we're really good friends and I've got a huge crush on her.

Julia Gillard's earlobes.

Others beat me to it, hope you feel better soon,

I have to confess that when I read the confession above "I have a crush on a blogger" I thought "wonder if it's me?" even though I know full well that it's not.

I'm still NOT bloody sorry!

On the last confessional, I complained about being stuck at work, rather that hanging out with a chick I had the hots for. We got together about a week after that, still together, and if we can get over a couple of hurdles, I think we'll be together for as long as I breath.

I'm lonely.

I fart alot. Prob around 20 - 30 times a day and they're always the violent ones (but not necessarily silent)

Some days a re worse than others

I'm a girl.........................

Yesterday I masturbated thinking about a woman in my mother's group. I might go and do it again now.

I am scared that I dont love my partner as much as he loves me. Or as much as I should.

I am fat. I used to be good looking, now I'm just fat. All the best intentions are worthless, I drink too much and eat too much. Each year I get a little fatter, and I know I'm letting myself and loved ones down.

I'm sick of crying myself to sleep because I'm so lonely, but I'm still too afraid to let down my barriers and try and find a man, because I don't think I can cope with having my heart trampled on and shattered again.

i read blogs and post on messageboards all day instead of working. I'm a reasonably well paid public servant

Dear Anon 11.49

Try massaging the roof of your mouth, then breathe in deeply through your nostrils, then put pressure on your forehead right at the top of your nose, then tap all of your fingers around the edge of your eye socket. Do it in front of the mirror and you will laugh yourself silly and feel better.

Seriously, I suffer sinusitis regularly and find these actions give me some relief. The odd squirt of Fess saline solution up the snozz will help keep things moving too.

I found incriminating evidence left in a photocopier that reflected poorly on a colleague that I have long suspected is an idiot/tool. I made sure it found the evidence found its way to the boss.

i used to stare at my sisters tits in the pool

I hate my sister's fiance. He is nasty, pervy, aggresive, lazy and not worthy of her. I don't want her to marry him and be stuck with him forever. She deserves so much better. I don't know if I should tell her.

I made a series of career choices over the last 10 years that were all in the name of pursuing a happy life. A steady sequence of events has now made everything start to come undone. I don't think it's my fault, I think I did my best most of the time. However I now feel like a complete fuck up. I don't know how to fix it all, or make it go away. I feel very negative about myself, and my partner feels negative about me too. If I didn't know how much it hurts the people that love you when you kill yourself, I could do it. But I know it so I can't. I think I have depression but am terrified to discover the truth. My future looks very bleak to me. I tell my partner how unhappy I feel and he says I should do something to help myself. This hurts me because I can't. Plus I can't tell my best friend. I mean I can't make the words to say it to her and get her to help me. This makes me think it is the truth.

I used to like A-ha.

I am in the office of a reasonably well known aid organisation and I am SO BORED and wishing I was a student at melbourne uni instead of the sorry excuse for a GAPper that I am now.

13:43: Me too.

Sunday Alice, Please see your GP. They ought to be able to help you find out if you are suffering from Depression and, if so, begin your recovery.

Oh Alice, you poor thing. You can help yourself. My partner has had incident-based depression, and we both see a psychologist who helped us through the rough patch. I know that admitting your problem and taking that first step is terrifying, but having someone supportive there who is only interested in helping you is really wonderful and cathartic. It will make things easier for those around you, but most importantly, it will help you learn to love and value yourself.

Every now and then, I feel her grip on my heart loosen slightly, with time and distance. But then I hear her speak, or see her face, if only for a moment, or read something she wrote to me so long ago. Then the chambers constrict and the blood slows, and a leaden sense of loss like thick mud washes down across me. Then I drink, and sleep, and start all over again.

I still like A-ha.

i confess i am bored reading about sinusitis.

I once ate a cake that I found (in its bag, sealed) on the floor of a train.

I often want to push people off the platform into the path of an oncoming express train. I guess I'm convinced that people are inextricably fucked.
Oh dear, now I sound all emo.
Maybe I'll cry a bit and cut myself.

I love my husband but I have no idea if I'm in love, or if I want to be.
I feel safe and comfortable with him.
I'm happy now but I worry that in the future I'll regret these decisions.

I really enjoy sex with strangers. I'd be happy to have sex with almost anyone provided I don't know them or better still, have not even spoken to them.
It has happened on a number of occasions and I'd be content with this as my only form of affection.

I fell in love with a colleague a few years ago. I would see her socially and think we could have been closer friends but I kept her at a distance. I didn’t want to risk blowing my cover and losing her altogether as i’m sure her feelings weren’t reciprocal. I was happy just to have her in my life. I’ve lost contact with her now that I’ve changed jobs. I know she is getting married soon but I’m not invited to the wedding. My heart aches when I think of her.

i want to be a stay at home mum but i earn more than my partner and he has no ambition - i don't know why i love him so... i sound like such a bitch

i say "i love you" too quickly... when I don't mean it. I like being in relationships where I know i'm loved/adored more than what I love the other person in return. I like being the centre of someone's life in relationships, because I am so unconfident with how I look to others.

I'm one of those people who feels the need to have everyone like me so am incredibly nice to all. Lately I find myself wanting to scream at them all. I think I'm going to implode.

I miss CatFish Jake...........oh and I'm not fucking sorry!

i'm the friend and the gal that people always go to with their problems. i care and i listen and i never judge. and i try to make them smile again.

then i got sick. pretty majorly sick.

and nobody was there for me.

i'm kinda finding it hard to smile anymore......

i ache inside and out.

I'm in love for the first time.

It's pretty great, huh?

i'm moving far away from my home town. one of the reasons is so i won't have to see my friends and family as much. i love them all so much but i want to free from all their expectations for me to take care of them, all of which i've created by the type of person i am. i want to be selfish and just take care of me. i leave in 2 weeks. i will only know one person in my new town. i can't wait to be alone.

I'm working in an office with a good friend, after I took a year off work suffering depression and anxiety.

She's depressed, and more anxious than I ever was... but she doesn't want to do anything about it because that would be 'failing'. I'm scared and sad for her, but I also have days when she's complaining how shit she feels and I just want to yell at her, 'Well, DO something! See your doctor. Talk to someone. I've offered to help! Stop it, you're dragging me back down!'

Also, every time I hear Ms Fits refer to her book-nerdishness on the radio, I have a little smile to myself and think, 'me too!'. Hooray for word nerds.

I'm in love with my married boss.

Anon 15:17 - you won't regret it.

Fits, I'm not a blogger. I heard about your website through J. Since the NOT SORRY article I haven't been able to stop checking your blog. Love what you're about!

Ever slowly fall in love with a best friend? When it literally feels like every time you see her face your "heart bursts into fire!" (Bullet For My Velentine; can't get enough of it at the moment.)

Yes this is my first ever blog. . . Let me know how I'm going from time to time will ya. Cheers

Not a confession, but Anon 13:46 - Fess nasal spray is the fucking bomb.

This is a confession. My mother died last year and I feel sick to my stomach at the thought my father might one day find someone new. I want him to be happy, but I don't think I could bear to see him with anyone but her.

"i read blogs and post on messageboards all day instead of working. I'm a reasonably well paid public servant"

x 2

i'm only here for the free postgraduate education. thanks taxpayer

i wish i was anywhere but where i am..

Nasal spray rebound is murderous.

My confession: I'm not with anyone, and that's good for now - I like spending time by myself. But it won't always be what I want, and at some point these things become self propagating. I like the idea that there's a girl out there who's just as maladjusted and we'll eventually meet and come out of our shells together - so when I read that 10:13 and 13:42 are lonely and miserable, I feel a little happy. Sorry guys.

I am in love with the Rory Erikson because of his voice.

Oh, wait, this was meant to me anonymous right? Whoops.

Im lonley, any girls lookin for a great guy???

I am in love with my best friend of 10 years, but I have "been" with his brother. This love will never come to fruition.

I can't wait for Easter, so I can eat the kids chocolates when they go to bed!

I think guys who plaintively wonder why girls don't go for "nice guys like them" are pretty much just fuckwits.

I get laid all the time by basically being a complete prick. Sure, you don't get the whole relationship package and cosy nights in on the couch, but don't kid yourself, that gets really boring after a while.

I have a new found crush on anon 10:13

I hate being a stepmother

You’re hot Anon 16:21.

How 'bout it?

I appear to be nice. I am afraid that one day people will find out what i really think about them.

Anononymous 16.04pm: Let's have dinner, if only to give each other's loneliness some company.

I think I have found the only man I will ever love. He is a lot older than me and I'm convinced I'm not good enough and I'm convinced he has already found the love of his life.

In 2 weeks time I will be a 40 year old virgin.

My love interest told my best friend he was in love with her and she is considering dating him because I told her I didn't care. I do care. I'm scared I will end up hating her because I didn't want her to know how incredibly hurt I am.

I told a woman ten years my senior that I'm in love with her, and she basically said if I were older, and there wasn't a potential for her to be fired for it, she'd jump my bones in a second.

My head is slowly exploding.

I hate my dependence on the hsc. If I dont get the mark I need there will be no point in life. I'm scared of failing. I have no back up plan.

dear 16:51 please don't worry too much about HSC. I know plenty of people who didn't do so well there and are plenty happy with their lives since. The world won't end.

@16:51 Do your best. If you reach your goal, great. If you don't, it will still be great.

You learn more from failure than from success. :-)

Don't think we're talking you into mediocrity. Just figure out what you think you want to do and give it your best!

I was made redundant sometime ago, and was talking to my new/current employer the day after.

Failure is never as bad as you fear, unless you let it.

Honestly.

Good Luck. :-)

I care way too much about being cool and seen with the right crowd. I hate it but I can't help it.

People think im good at keeping secrets. My friend just told me that she cuts herself... I told about 5 people and now i have put it on the internet

I secretly judge and/or laugh at these confessions.

My first sexual experience was when I was 22 years old and involved S&m.

Anon 16:51 - I didn't get the marks I needed to get into the course I wanted. I went to the Info day anyway, and talked to all the staff who'd listen to me. I left my phone number with a few of them... and the faculty Dean phoned me at home. I talked for an hour, and ended up with a first-round offer! I ended up getting 4 degrees from that Uni, including 2 Masters... with Distinction. Your UAI isn't the be-all and end-all. (I've never felt as low as the day I got my shitty TER... but in the greater scheme of things, it meant nothing!).

Talk to your Year Advisor or Careers Teacher... They'll help you feel a little less dependent.

to the person who loves having sex with strangers, me too. actually, i find it bloody hard to be in a relationship b/c of my desire to be with someone else. just to have that variety.

i am hoping that these ways of mine will suddenly cease. they are almost stopping now. but there are times when its so easy for me to just send an sms and then start the destructive behaviour all again

I, and a few hare-brained others, have promised hundreds of people a bra bomb at a party tomorrow night, and I still have no idea how this will be achieved. The more certain I become it will fail shambolically, the more emphatically I insist that it will definitely happen.

And people seem to believe me.

You're on, 16.27.

Are you hot?

Do you like rope?

It resulted in me being excommunicated

My husband cheated on me and gave me herpes in the process. I'll find out tomorrow if I've caught anything worse. It was with a series of women in what I think the Australian government officially calls a "busted-arse country", and I know there were no condoms because I found the videos on his digital camera.

This isn't a confession, more just the sharing of a secret -- I'm really scared and I can't tell anyone else. I'm really angry, too. He's the only man I've ever slept with (stupid me).

Sometimes in the morning, I masturbate in bed while my cat is curled up on my stomach. I don't get any pleasure from it! But she's so nice, and fast asleep, and I can't bring myself to push her off. I don't think she notices. But it feels a little dirty...

I hate my mother.

I'm pretty sure you despise me.

5:29, you aren't the stupid one in that equation. Hope it all works out, good luck.

i now have a crush on anon 16:21

There's already a site dedicated to confessions. It's at http://beta.grouphug.us/. But I think there's a greater sense of community here.

I feel inferior to pretty much everyone around me, despite the fact that I am going to have a bachelors degree before I turn twenty.

If my boyfriend of five years proposes, I'll probably say yes.

I'll probably mean no.

I suspect the love I feel for my pup is most I'll ever feel

I moved to the country for work, having told everyone it was for two years tops.
I think I might stay here. Forever.
Even without Thai food.

I knew he cheated on you, I said nothing for a year, and then had to act suprised....I'm sorry.

"Most people think I'm smart, but I'm actually rather dim. "

Ditto.

my friends are all in long term relationships but i'm not. when i tried to tell them about a guy i was seeing i got the distinct impression that not only did they not believe me, but they felt sorry for me.

now i don't tell them anything, and actually i feel sorry for them. they're too insecure to see that there is a life waiting for them outside their shitty relationships with bogans who treat them like crap.

I have the best boyfriend in the world. I want to be dominated sexually and he's just not into it and never will be. I love him so much.

I fantasise about being pinned against walls and being fucked hard & rough. I develop raging crushes on other men. I never do anything about it.

i'm a small fish in a turbid pond.

I'm scared my confession will be connected to me somehow and my love will be hurt.

I think I'm almost in love with a girl... who lives in belgium. fucking BELGIUM, man. she comes home in a few months. what on god's green earth am i going to do??????

we are really good friends, but i'm pretty sure the feeling is not reciprocated.

also, i had my heart broken last time in a way that should still take a person literally years to get over.

Fucked.

To continue the theme....

I am hopelessly in love with a lovely boy called Rupert, yet I have a boyfriend

I am torn

I'm having nightly bouts of amazing phone sex with a man I have never met who is 10 years younger than me.

I think we have very little in common aside from liking to masturbate on the phone with each other.

I think I will catch a plane to meet him just for one night anyway.

Larissa Dubecki

I drink more than I should -- but I love it. I tell myself I'll stop when I'm thirty... but that's pretty soon now, and I don't think I want to. What if forty tipsy years are better value than eighty sober ones?
hic!
Pardon me.

I judge my fellow Australians by the broadness of their accents.

I check myself out in shop windows as I walk along the street. I think I look HOT. I like to consider myself a thoughtful and well-rounded person. Really, I am getting shallower by the day. My sixteen-year-old self would despise me.

I don't think Newstopia is working.

I love my job, and I love my career, and I love my independence, but somewhere inside of me, I wish for marriage, babies and the whole picket fence thing.

On the outside, I would never share a bank account with someone - on the inside, I wish I could...

Just reading this I realised there is something I need to get off my chest. I recently got a surprise promotion at work, which I was very grateful for (coming as it did after a few very difficult years). After I'd accepted the job, my boss announced that I have to travel throughout the state to deliver training. I'm really pissed off about this because I'm not getting any say in the arrangements at all but mostly I just don't want to travel for work. I like going home at the end of the day. Does this make me lazy and unadventurous or does the thought of travelling for work make a lot of people feel sick?

I am a fatist, I detest them... I feel bad for judging fat people like this, but it doesn't stop me from doing it.

I once found a Book Crossing book and was so excited to have found it I kept it without ever passing it on - even though I hated it.

One day I'll pass it on... I swear...

I read my boyfriends emails, and his texts. They are so boring!

I do a mean Irish accent, though I am originally from Broadmeadows. I use it to pick up hot girls in clubs. One time, I had amazing anal with this chick I met in Bali. Sorry, Anon 13: 12.09...

I shagged my best friends ex-boyfriend about 2 months after they broke up their relationship of 6 years...

The icing on the cake was the text I got the next morning to make sure I was headed for the pharmacy for the morning after pill, who said romance is dead?

I am almost at the end of a three year PhD scholarship. I have done about 20% of the work I was meant to and don't think I can finish the thesis. I have lied repeatedly to my supervisor about my progress and the chickens are coming home to roost. The government has given me over $70,000 and I've pissed it up against the wall. I am not a working family - I am a bludging loner. It doesn't get any more un-Australian than that in Rudd-land.

I slept with a colleague, then decided I wanted a relationship with him. He rejected me and now he won't even talk to me. I feel like a complete moron.

I am sitting here pressing refresh instead of doing my uni assignment that's due tomorrow.

I feel better after reading 21.35.

I want to fuck pretty much any male authority figure in my life who shows me approval. I try not to, but sometimes I slip... usually with people who all end up knowing each other (so who knows who knows, if you know what I mean). Now I've got pretty much my dream job which is an incredible achievement but all I can think about is how much I want to fuck my new boss. Fucked up, huh?

I secretly envy all my friends who are married with kids because I thought I'd be there too by now - I'm 30 this week, single and...

Yawn, self pity gone. There's loads of people on here worse off than me.

I wanna fuck sissy femme guys while wearing a strap-on.

I've also written Kevin Rudd/Joe Hockey smut.

I have a picture on my phone of my ex girlfriend’s kunt. The picture is of her exposing her clitoris. It’s a good shot, even though it’s 4 years old. She took the shot and sent it to me

I have no confidence in people that overeat

Man we love to tell

I also encouraged my mates wife to keep asking questions about their relationship,after my mate told me he cheated.They are now getting divorced

I'm attached, he's attached. We're only acquaintances. I want to have an affair with him. I see him again in two weeks. I'll be dressing for him. Sometimes I wish I was brave or reckless or selfish enough to whisper in his ear "I want to screw you until you scream".

I'm 10:09. BeKazzled, it gets worse- I'm female, I belong to a feminist group and I'm constantly talking about how I despise men who objectify women.

I also have a friend who is in love with me. I'm too emotionally stunted to reciprocate so sometimes I sit at home getting drunk and watching movies starring actors who look like her, when all I have to do is pick up the phone. Fucked up, huh?

I read free online erotic fiction

I want to live in a field of flowers somewhere in Latvia where serious decisions will never darken my doorway.

Even though I've had satisfying relationships I still had wet dreams regularly about my first boyfriend for years and years. I haven't seen him since we split up when I was 20. I saw a recent photo of him six months ago and the wet dreams have stopped. He didn't look ugly or anything like that, I don't know why they've stopped.

Are they called wet dreams when you are a woman?

I want my dreams back!

Ooooh, where 22:18?

C'mon, you know you were all thinking it!

I am in love with my best friend, we are both guys, he doesn't know how i feel nor that i am gay...

@ anon 22:31

http://www.literotica.com/stories/

Enjoy

It occurs to me that all these anonymous comments on this post might be the same person.

And then it occurs to me all the comments on ALL the posts might be the same person!

OH MY GOD HOW DO WE KNOW WHAT REALITY IS?

I had a intense mind affair for 2 years with a guy who wouldn't sleep with me because he was my exes best friend. He moved to Singapore and fell out with my ex over another girl.

I still think about him and miss him every day.

I read free online erotic fiction too, is there something wrong with that?

I fear I may be normal

I lost my virginity to a prostitute in Brisbane ten years ago. It was so awkward I couldn't even come.

I now see prostitutes regularly and I always make sure I come.

i haven't visited a prostitute

I ended a marriage so I could feel something again.

I'm afraid that my family will never accept me for who I am, I miss them.


I've paid to read erotica ebooks.

I sometimes name drop your colleague Lindsay even though a) I hate name-droppers b) I realise he's just a dude on the radio and c) (the clincher really) I have only met the guy a couple of times at parties, and said parties were quite a while ago now.

Worse, I say he's a 'really nice guy' but that's only because he shared his cola a few times. He could be a total moron for all I know.

I feel like I'm never really going to fit in anywhere and I'm going to wind up sad and alone. I also feel bad telling anyone this because I feel like I should just STFU and get on with life.

@ Anon 22:32 I know exactly how that goes...

Hi anonymous 10:13. I'v never been kissed and never had a boyfriend, I'm atractive (sort of) and smart. In a couple of weeks I'll be 22. I'm also really shy around guys, or I just get angry with them for being men in the first place. and as for as taking off the "get lost" face. I know I could get a guy if I wanted to-but I dont want a guy, I want themostwonderfulmanintheuniverse, but of course why would themostwonderfulmanintheuniverse want anything to do with me. so for now the get lost face stays.

I have a big crush on a guy I met three weeks ago. I check his facebook obsessively. I like to keep track of who he's friends with, what they write to him (all lovely stuff) and what he writes back (all humble and sweet stuff). Each time I check just adds to the torment; he knows I'm on facebook, but hasn't requested me.
He's not interested because he's beautiful and perfect, and I'll always be a bit intimidating and just a little bit overweight.

I also use facebook, and am addicted to 'I can has cheeseburger'.

I'm in love with 22:57

when i was about 14 i put a puppy to my bare tit and it sucked it. it felt nice. i didn't think it was a bad thing to do.

I am a misanthrope. I am exceptionally intelligent and talented but don't suffer fools or play anyone's games but my own. I can be quite charming when I want to be but that is rarely. Far more often I am acerbic and cruel but almost always right on the money. I am convinced that I am superior to just about everyone I come across and resent having to be bothered with the vacuous, idiotic masses. The select handful of friends I have know how I feel but love me nevertheless. I adore them too but can't understand why they even tolerate me let alone seek me out. This makes me anxious. I earn a lot of money and am a good husband and father when I am not working. Sometimes I just want to leave everything I have and walk solo through the wilds of Tasmania or The Himalaya in a haze of pot and acid. This was something I did quite a bit of in my twenties and I loved it.

I'm miserable. I'm sick of life and I haven't even started Uni yet. I have all these plans but if I don't get a fantastic ENTER score, God only knows what I'm going to do. I'm in the exact same boat as Anon 16:51. Aside from this, I intensely, passionately hate myself. I'm sick of being hideously ugly/weird/irritating.

I can't share my problems with anyone because I'm busy dealing with everyone else's problems: suicide attempts, possible pregnancies, repeated rapes, manic depression, untreated schizophrenia, and self harm. Everyone trusts me and everyone comes to me with their problems, but I wish they'd just leave me alone. I want to stop pretending that I'm happy and satisfied, but I can't. Too many people "need me to be there for them."

Not to mention the fact that the girl I love is in love with someone else, and will never love me - not that I can blame her.

I wish I knew what to do. The only way from here is up, but I just don't have the strength to fight gravity and do something positive.

Ms Fits I love that you provide this space for us to do this. I confess that I think you're bloody awesome but would only ever pay a compliment like that anon. Rock on sister.

anonymous @23.10, get yourself some professional help. don't be like me and leave it a long long time until you realise you have to put yourself first sometimes. life can be fantastic. believe me, it feels better to be happy than to be sad. get yourself to your gp or school counsellor or someone else you trust to get you some good help. it is wonderful to have someone completely seperate from everyone else who you can confide in, and who can assist you to see your beautiful, caring spirit. take care and all the best to you *hug*

I am anon 10:13 (the 22 yr old never been kissed)
I desperately want to be able to talk to guys, I don't have a 'get lost face' (@ 22:57) And I try to talk myself into it but can never follow through. I think I could be okay if a guy approached me first and made all the first moves but that never happens. My friends all tell me its because I am 'unattainable' and that guys are too nervous to talk to me. It is ridiculous

After many years I am still, and increasingly so, madly in love with my wife and would shrivel up and die if anything happened to her. However, the only way I can get to sleep is to close my eyes and imagine how wonderful my life as a widower would be.

My husband died 4 years ago, and I loved him with every fibre of my being. I was at his bedside when he passed away and I promised him I'd never forget the time we had together, and I'd love him till the day I met him at the pearly gates. But some mornings I wake up now, and he's not the first thing on my mind. He's not my first thought, and I'm scared that I'm starting to forget him. I want him to be there when I get there to be with him, I don't want him to think I don't love him anymore. I hate myself for starting to forget about him...

I have a ingrown hair on my bikini line. It is pussing. I am really grossed out about it

I was just sitting here popping ingrown hairs from my bikini line and lamenting the fact that there are none left. Can I come and do yours 23.33?

I love watching french movies, even though I know it means i'm going to hell :(

I think hell would be more fun than heaven.

i've never had sex with anyone that I've been really attracted to, only women that I've found unthreatening, including some very long relationships.

I'm too much of a wimp to tell my ex to fuck off and leave me alone. I don't understand why she want's to be friends with me still after ripping out my heart and taking a giant dump on it.

I don't understand why she thinks I should go to her wedding or why she insists on sending me baby photos of her spawn.

I hate the fact that she has someone and I'm still alone.

I really like the pet shop boys. Its the only music I listen to and i'm scared what will happen if the other blokes in the bikie club find out.

I'm also scared someone will recognize me for my confession, despite the fact I've never told anyone. My boyfriend of two years hardly ever came during sex. It wasn't until the week before he left for a job overseas that I found his porn dvds and confronted him about it that he said that he masterbated so often from the age of 12, that sex just doesn't do it for him.

He also said some horrible things to me that I've told people, so I'm not going to put it here.

I'm scared that anyone I ever get that close to in the future will hurt me the way he did.

i am the music man, i come from down your way and i can't play for shit

I just nominated ms fits's Wikipedia image for deletion.

I don't want to confess. I don't know why not... I have confessions to make but, perhaps I do not want to confront them in my own mind? Part of me wants to, but I just can't.

I have been on facebook for 8 months and nobody has ever added me. I thought I was popular.

In kindy I had a fiance but I played doctors and nurses with other girls. My Barbies had elaborate weddings with my Kens but the Barbies were all making kinky love to one another. Fast forward twenty years and I rarely climax without thinking about women. I do not consider myself a lesbian.

23:50 #A
Just do it - tell your ex to fuck off and leave you alone. She obviously has a "full life" and possibly has some perverse need to rub your nose in it OR is a complete sadist OR is just completely fucked up - whatever, you don't be needin' that! I fucked mine off, after ten years of lovely "news" about his new life and family, on Xmas eve and have never felt better. It still sucks that I'm alone and he's not, when I dumped him for being a cheating, lying, using bastard, but, after being terrified of saying it for years, it was the best thing ever to say "FUCK OFF AND STOP CALLING ME YOU NARCISSISTIC, SELFISH, UNCONSCIONABLE BOGAN CUNT!"

00:02
But you are, though. Or possibly someone close to you at the age of four was, and you witnessed it, and your barbie play has never been the same. Whatevs - joy is joy.

"I do not consider myself a lesbian."

Why not?

I've recently become an Uncle.

I really couldn't care less.

I wish I was as interested in my mother chucking assignment as I am in this thread.

I think you are my new hero

I will only marry for money. I have gone out with many beautiful guys but none of them have had big enough incomes to stay with. I think there are lots of girls like me.

i hate myself, fear those that are different to me and think that chicks with dicks are over-rated

Still not sorry.

i really want ;acceptance from Ms] Fits but I. don't. know. how. to. punctuate. propery, - I nevr lernd/

i've been to Surfers Paradise but I've never been too me.

I've been with him for years.

I don't think I ever loved him.

I don't think I've ever loved anyone.

Even though I behave normally, I don't *feel* anything. I worry that I am some sort of sociopath.

I am a dancing fool.

My mother walked in on my cousin raping me when I was twelve, and she didn't do anything except walk away. I don't hate her, but I think she is a repulsive "mother", and if she died or disappeared from my life tomorrow, I honestly believe that I would not care. At all.

I am afraid I wasted my youth by working and not having fun.

I'm thirty three and all I want to do is get high and hang out like I should have when I was sixteen.

The guys I slept with were always so disappointing... I can only have orgasms during my erotic dreams.

I haven't had my hair cut in over three years because I've developed a fear of hairdressers and having sharp pointy things near my head. I freak out when I'm near a hair salon and will deliberately cross the road to avoid walking past it. No-one close to me knows.

i have 2 children - 3 yo and 6 months old, and a 6 yo from an affair that my wife doesn't know about


no I don't

I don't love my husband anymore. I feel trapped and I wish we never got married.

The worst part is that he's a good person and deserves better but I don't have the heart to tell him. I am a coward and I am unhappy.

I think I am in love with two people. They are both beautiful and I don't know which way to turn. Everything feels wrong.

She was my first. She got together with my (ex) best friend, and they stayed together for over a year.

I once told her I'd love her forever.

I still do. If only she'd call.

I've only ever been happy once, the night I spent with her.

I keep hitting refresh on this page, because I have no life.

There’s this straight-forward, rational boy that wants to settle down with me. He will be a lovely, loyal partner and father.

But I’m horribly scared that I will lose my creativity, spontaneity and exuberance if I stay with him.

I don’t know how to be with him and keep it alive.

To Anon 23:31. You're not forgetting your husband, you'll never forget him. His memory is so much a part of you that you no longer have to consciously think about him upon waking, he's just there, within you. Don't beat yourself up. Four years living with a memory is long enough. Your husband loved you, and would want you to be happy. He'd want to you love and be loved again, and you can do this without breaking your promises to him. He's gone, and you are not. Hard to accept, I know. It might be time to dance with the living instead of lying down with the dead.

I used to love my dog so much that id eat his food on the floor with him.He died.I didn't.My dad lied.It didnt taste so bad.

still pressing refresh...

I did it

I thought I'd had some bad relationships before I read some of these posts.

I keep asking out and getting rejected by friends because I think the suggestion that I should ask out people I barely know/have never met before is rediculous.

People close to me tell me I'm attractive when I tell them I think this rejection is because of my appearance. But I can't believe that because girls keep rejecting me. I don't know what the truth is.

Also I am underweight and am pretty sure I have anhorexia.

Im 69 years old and I masturbate at least five times a day..

I look at porn with animals in it, and i love live donkey shows.

Me and George went to tijuana in 1972 and had a ball.I once had an orgy with 3 (distant) family members, and its still up there with the best sex ive had.

I wish i was a dog.

My arse smells like.....arse.

Hard fucking, cum drinking ,ball bagging, cock bending ,gooch licking ladies are my favorite.

has anyone noticed that my middle name is a very common african american name?

JWH

i am in a happy fulfilling relationship but i really enjoy receiving mms's of random girls vaginas. it really turns me on. after i get them i wank straight away and feel guilty for a week. then i want to do it again. i'd never cheat, i just enjoy the idea that chicks send me photos of their vag's.

Am i weird?

10:09 - You need to figure out what you want, at heart, I think. You haven't mentioned whether you're straight, gay, bi... whichever one, I think you're lacking confidence.

If you are straight, unfortunately some idiots in society may take your feminist group affiliation as a threat. All smart people despise men who objectify women (or pity them), and everyone should be feminist. However, if you say you're talking constantly about how you despise these kinds of men - some men may take this as a sign you hate ALL men, and stay away. Could you be sending out this message?

If you're gay, or think you might be - and not to play into stereotypes too much here - then the feminist sentiment should be rightly appreciated. Do you THINK you're attracted to your best friend? It's sometimes easy to find someone attractive because THEY find us SO attractive - and then later, once you've hooked up with them, you realize you were only attracted to their adoration of you.

@ 14:10

You should be a writer. Maybe you are

While my de facto boyfriend's father is dying in hospital, I am on line flirting with strange men.

i had a dream last night about one of the dark lothario bloggers in my circle. we were lying face to face on the embankment of a railway line. and we were kissing. and it was lovely.

i am in a committed relationship and he has never kissed me in a way that makes me wet.

i miss that type of kissing.

I am extremely jealous of your job, Ms Fits, and wish that it was me trying to stay as young as possible on the yoof network.

I wasted my years between 17 and 24 in two long term relationships, with almost no gap between them.

I've been single for over a year now, and whilst I'm terribly lonely, and haven't had sex at all in that time, I still can't bringmyself to waste another moment with a woman.

I try going on dates, but I usually call things off after one or two.

I'd really like to meet someone who just wants to have sex, then leaves. Frankly, I'd rather not talk to them at all, apart from the necessities. But I have no idea how to arrange this.

BeKazzled- no, sexuality isn't an issue. I'm an out lesbian, that part's fine. What is so abhorrent about what I'm doing is the hypocrisy of it. I despise men for doing...exactly what *I* am. Objectifying someone. Dating her because she's pretty. Ick.

Could be low self-esteem, I guess.

The avoidance of my friend is sheer commitment phobia, really.

This thread is heartening and depressing in equal measure. Sigh.

My sexual fantasy involves listening to the music of Warren Ellis from Dirty Three fame, and reading Penguin Classic novels.

I haven't had my hair cut since the abortion. I wonder if I will ever be able to again. It's almost as if I don't want to cut away a part of me that was there when my baby was growing inside of me. I didn't want the abortion but the father of the baby told me he would kill himself if I didn't.

I'm glad I didn't have his child because it would mean he would be in my life forever. It doesn't stop me from wanting that child anyway.

One good thing that has come of it is that I am learning to stand up for myself. He hates that I am.

Sometimes I think the only reason I'm still alive is because I wanna know how my favorite book series ends.

I know I should be happy that I stuck it out, didn't do anything rash and am now finally going to get treated for my depression, but all I am is scared of taking happy pills that will screw with my brain. Leave my brain alone. It's screwed up enough already.

Anonymous 9:45,

putting to one side the idea that being in a relationship is somehow a 'waste', there is a simple way to deal with your needs. Visit prostitutes. Sex without preliminaries is what they do.

Anon 10:09: With sexuality out of the way, don’t feel bad for seeing your friend as attractive because she’s “pretty”! Why do you think she’s pretty? Because you like her. If someone’s “physically attractive” to one person, they’re not necessarily to the other… for instance, my sister dates dicks who society would say are good-looking, but to me they are repulsive and bland.

You need to objectify the object you’re attracted to A BIT – and if sexual attraction is returned, the objectification is enjoyed by the object. I’ve loved being objectified in sexual moments, IF I know the person respects me in general.

And you clearly respect your friend, so don’t feel bad about “objectifying” her and appreciating her beauty. There’s a world of difference between doing this, and assuming that all women are pretty hos that exist only for men’s amusement.

If it’s commitment phobia, this will lift once you feel it’s right or once you meet the right girl.

Emilie - I was in the same boat. Didn't want to take pills because it would "affect my brain" (I used to be very against drugs in general). I suffered through depression for over a decade and it was horrible.

I finally caved and tried the pills. I was sick for a week and was encouraged to not quit, and then two weeks later I was doing a lot better. Then, I got the strength to do things I didn't think I could. I didn't notice any personality changes, neither has anyone else. I just feel LESS anxious at the prospect of new things, and more equipped to deal with life.

I'm in love with a man who just isn't in love with me. And I know he isn't, and when I'm not with him I'm not in love with him either. But I still drive to his house in the middle of the night and hope he might put the bins out or something.

I spend most of my day trying to come up with ways to seem less needy so that he'll love me. What a paradox!

The truth is, he has a huge cock, and I'm not ready to let go of the best sex I've ever had.

And worse, I left my husband for him. If it doesn't work out, I have to grieve for two relationships at once.

i am late for everything. except for my period. i am late for the first time now. its been 5 days. i don't know how i feel. i think pregnant women are goddesses. but i don't know if my hedonistic lifestyle is ready to stop for 18 years. although it would be a great way to detox. possibly the only way i would. perhaps its motherfucking gough time.

to anon at 11:00

it's not working out, just deal with it.

not being mean, just saying what's obvious.

14:10 .. replace her with him and that is me.

and I have a new him, and he is great, but not the kind of man who encourages and lets you wallow round in passion and wonder at the new love that you are creating together.

this makes me realise even more that i will never get that damn man outa my head or heart or stop feeling his touch, smiling blankly at nothing when I remember his smile etcetcetc. cue nausea

@ 11:23

I know this, it's the practicality of it that eludes me at the moment. 7 years of marriage to a wonderful (and incompatible) man clearly taught me nothing of reacting in an adult manner to relationship woes. I might as well be a 15-year-old with a 'journal writing' compulsion.

(I'm learning, but it's rather more gradual than I'd hoped)

I wish I could put up with dumb, annoying fucks like BeKazzled who think that they are some sort of font of knowledge and good advice when they clearly are not and in fact are stupid and tedious. But I can't.

@ 11:52 - I can't either :\ I just hope I don't sound like that. Ever.

I get the suspicion all my friends think I'm an utter twat.

There was a kiss, once, but we never spoke of it. The lingering embraces were more profligate; I am consciously grateful but my cynicism swells, threatens to colour everything with the torture of you, my friend. You gathered me in so tightly, so close, so often, only to renounce the mystery time and again. I live inside those clinches you know, those moments we were alone are endless, but now you are gone from me in every meaningful way. I no longer want to confess. I want to tell you that I wish you never existed.

Goodbye.

I love you.

Is 12:05 what those pulp romance novellas that middle aged women read read like?

I'm bored with peanut butter, vegemite, jam and honey. Anchovette doesn't do it for me either. I love toast, but I am at a loss with what to have on it??? I've tried everything. I'm thinking of moving to cereal :(

@ Soporific - in Adelaide, there is an amazing jar of heaven known as 'Corn and Bacon Spread'. It is possibly the best thing known to (local) man.

If that's too far to go, Smoked Salmon Philly and toast were made for each other.

marinated goats cheese and swiss browns fried in butter and lots of garlic YUM.

@Soporific: Nutella, you fool! Or, if you're of the sickeningly sweet persuasion, fluff. It's an American thing. A spreadable marshmellow (except it's a million times better than marshmellows) and I love it. You can get it from Coles. It's also great on crackers with peanut butter.

Actually, if we're confessing, once I ate a jar of it over the course of a few days. With a spoon.

*ears prick*

Corn and Bacon spread?
That, I must say, tickles my fancy.

I think I will keep the toaster a little while longer....

Cheers

I fucked up and it nearly cost me my marrige, i would have once read all of the comments here and wondered about finding someone like those who want an older man or someone to talk to on the phone. Now i don't feel i need anything more than that which i have so i am content. I am still scared i will fuck up again but that makes it easier to be good.

Is it still Thursday???
Damn i must be wasted!!!!

My mum died when I was a teenager. I miss her so much, but can't imagine my life with her in it. Sometimes I think I've actually turned out better than if she had lived. I hate thinking that, but part of me knows it's true.

Unfortunately, I overdosed on nutella as a child. Can't go back there - something about the smell and the memory of nutella vomit.

(Apologies to those who are about to tuck into their lunches)

Getting OFF CHOPZ this weekend :P

Is Nutella vomit better or worse than, say, Rogan Josh vomit?

Whilst in Adelaide, be sure to pick up a Balfour's strudel bun (or custard tart), a packet of Fruchocs and a Nippy's Iced Honeycomb. It is truly the mecca of food lovers, that town.

I cheated on my ex. I loved him but we made each other miserable. He evened the score. We split up and have both been seeing other people and I've had some amazing sex.

It's been over for ages with my ex, but when I masturbate, I can only ever climax by thinking of him

The irony is, the sex with us was really never that good

That bloody 16:27 is a tease.

Okay, anon 15:17. You obviously like rope.

I have a great cast iron bed that always has some tied on.

I don't let people get close to me due to my fear of loss. I worry I am going to be alone for the rest of my life when all I want is someone to enjoy my days with. It seems to be too much to ask that someone actually care, it's cool to be aloof these days.

I just want a bit of romance in my life dammit!

I seem to say all the wrong things to girls no matter how I try. Whats wrong with me????

Nutella vomit is probably the equivalent of Rogan Josh vomit for an adult. However, as a child, I think it was as disturbing as bad oyster vomit or 'berocca before bed' vomit is for adults.

Anon 12:47 I bet i could romance ya!!

I am also harboring feelings of extreme hatred every time 'BeKazzled' writes.

U4iK - is that whilst you are off chopz? Somehow I don't think so.

No im not that much of an asshole!

Berocca Before Bed vomit! The horror!

Confession - instead of working, I act out scenes in my head from a much more interesting life that I don't have. But I work for the government, and I think everyone around me is doing the same thing.

We sure are...

Sometimes I'm so self-conscious just walking down the street that I break out into a sweat, and feel inferior and insecure about my looks, my walk, and feel like that weakness is written all over my face. Other times I strut along without a care in the world, knowing I look damn fine and feeling good that I'm alive. Today is a mixture of the two. On the plus side, I haven't done any work and it's almost lunch time.

Haha would that be the NSW State Labor Government? Polly... are you really Morris Iemma?

glad to hear it U4iK

Oh, my cover is blown! ;( I'll never be taken seriously as a politician again!

..............

In reality, I'm a bit closer to the Spirit of Tasmania.

Util I was 28 years old, I never walked into a clothes shop alone due to fear I would accidently start looking through the womens clothing instead of the mens.

I love a man who is dominant in bed. I hate having to say 'hold my hands down' or 'make it hurt'. I love it when they instinctively know, and don't hold back in being rough or pulling my hair. Funny thing is, in my experience (which is not insubstantial) it's always the arseholes who fuck me the best. The nice guys say they don't want to hurt me and try to be a little softer. It pisses me off. If I ask for it harder, I want them to do it.

Soft and intense is awesome too, but if I want to really feel it and the guy is hesitant, part of me just sees him as a wimp. I know that's not fair but I can't help it. I think that's because deep down I believe that all men want to hurt women and I'm distrustful when they say they don't.

Or maybe I just like a good, hard fuck

Anyway my real confession is this....

I have occassionally caught bits and pieces of the 'First Tuesday Book Club' show. And I saw this rather attractive flower amongst the dead wood. I wondered, briefly, who she was and why she was there. Then I went back to the daily grind of worrying about what to put on my toast.

The other day I saw some article about some award winning blog. Checked it out and, much to my surprise, it was the same flower I saw on the TV!

Cutting to the chase, my confession is... I am here because of the (albeit slight) possibility of love and romance! -sighs-

Love and romance with said flower? Or potential for love and romance with other (blonder, less famous) floral arrangements?

(I have always hoped that one day I'd meet the true love of my life via a written medium. Not necessarily a blog - I had always rather hoped it might be through a series of Letters to the Editor. Or maybe notes left on a train.)

Anon 13:08 Im in Love............

Polly... Give me your email and ill start writing

You give me yours, and I'll start. That way I can effectively guide it through my pre-conceived fantasy.

The flower sits on a hill in the distance... with a fence around it. Maybe it is a flower growing in a cemetary? Hahah maybe that isn't fair.

Maybe the blonder, less famous, floral arrangment is what im looking for...?

Old men who sue their own Owners Corporation are the type who write letters to the editor these days. And notes on a train could lead to disaster (in so many ways!). Blogs are the way forward. If it wasn't for blogs... we would be working!

Well, one can't argue with any of that. What a disaster it would be to stop blogging/reading blogs and accidentally work instead!

*heartbroken*

....but it seems you are betrothed to another.

That another thing with blogs. You have to be quick! I was too slow.

*Goes back to watching the flower*

Ah, and there you have it! Letters to the Editor would never crush a person's spirit in such a fleeting manner.

(It's just a fling!)

Promise?

Guide me then....

soporificsydney@gmail.com

Giggity!!

Sporific is tryin to take ma Polly!!

Do you think I'll get laid? That would be AWESOME!

Polly you would get what ever you wanted....

Heartbreaker

-mopes-

alls fair in love and war Sopo...

Oh, oh, oh, anon 11:52 and 11:55. You’re right – it’s hard to have to endure the message board advice of a person who in both instances received replies from both posters.

I can appreciate your need to never sound like me. Of course, there’ll be conflicts of interest, since we both speak English (some better than others - see below), and the same words are bound to occasionally crop up in our conversations. However, you can probably avoid falling into my thinking by remarking every so often, “I don’t give a f**k what anyone thinks, because I’m hard-core”, or “man, I’m real. I’m really real. I’d never give advice or use cliches. Where did I leave my My Chemical Romance album?”

It’s pretty good to know you’re better than others, hey? How’s that superiority treating you? Getting good sleep at night? Getting along well with family? No mental issues to speak of? Your partners (if you have them – I doubt it) have no issues with you?

I bet neither of you are walking cliches. Nice emoticon, 11:54.

And, err, 11:52… didn’t realize I was a “font” of knowledge. I’m choosing Times New Roman, font size=12. Oh, man, wait, that’s so stereotypical. Can I change my mind to Verdana?

Hey now, there's plenty of potential "will she won't she" cyber love to go around.

There's sweet irony, of course, in BeKazzled's hideously indulgent and over-thought reply. Makes me want to pee in my shoes.

polly you sound like the girl of my dreams. i think we need to .....................

i shagged the chef, and i want to do it again. but cant quite work out how, seeing as i wont be drunk at work. hes older, not hot and i took him back to my mums.

bekazzled, just shut up.

I initially skipped BeKazzled's posts, because people like him/her usually bore and annoy me. The last post was too unintentionally amusing and terrifying, and now I've got to go back and read all of the others.

It beats work.

I'm a tassie govt pleb too polly. You'd better not be Brian Green.

I swear if I ever see that man I'm gonna punch him, punch him right in that big smug face of his.

Paul Lennon too, now I think of it, or as I like to think of him Gunns' number 1 muppet.

I wish to add to my previous confession too...If the field of flowers is unavailable I'd be quite happy to run a small cheese shop in Prague.

ps - haloumi cheese is possibly the greatest invention known to man :D

13:39, I am a nymphomaniac who loves nothing more than for her man to be happy. Does that suit your requirements?

Polly I LOVE YOU!!!!

It sure does Polly....

I worry for all those people who put sucky messages on here about how much they love Ms Fits. We get it, we all like her, that's why we are here.

Polly on second thought that sounds too good to be true....

I get that a lot :\

But im still keen to give it a go ;)

16:21 - as long as it's silk rope...

It's Friday, and I really miss "Kid Nation".

^ Hear hear!

I aspire to be more or less exactly like Sophia.

I think the thing about sex and men being afraid to hurt woman is fascinating. I admit this is a fear I've had in the past.

I've given up trying to be the person other people want me to be. People are hypocrits. Problem is I don't think that I'd change that much even if I had the ability to do so. I've grown attached to my flaws.

The one thing I'd change about myself is if I could would be to be more confident.

I'm real nice to my g/f in the day and love her like crazy all of the time. I'll do anything for her and she for me...then in the bedroom we fuck the living shit outta each other. Real slow and deep with plenty of hair pulling and biting.
We are awesome together to the point that we fuck till we are dizzy.
Our sex is so passionate that i sometimes think no one else could be entwined the way that we are.
She doesn't know that I have slept with a couple of guys in the past. Not because I am totally into it but 'cause I want to try everything at least once.

I think that my best pal deliberately got pregnant to shine some much needed light on an otherwise dreary and utterly nonsensical joyless relationship. I pretended to be happy for her.

In fact I suspect that lots of women I know deliberately get pregnant to in some way elicit commitment from the reluctant males in their lives.

I am probably a bad person for thinking such things.

I'm terrified of being physically hurt by a man during sex. I feel so vulnerable and scared that they will hurt me that now I need to be drunk before I will have sex. Even sex with someone I know quite well. I am not in a relationship and imagine it will be difficult to get into one if I can't get over this fear. At the moment that doesn't worry me, but as I get older I think I'd like to have someone in my life.

I wish I could meet some of these men who say that they are afraid to hurt a woman. But I suspect I wouldn't believe them anyway.

Pass the tequila.

During the day I am a boring, ordinary uni student, but at night I am spiderman.

While I am fucking my partner I want to ask her to do things I have allways fantasied about, but I know she wouldn't so I stay silent and keep it to myself.

I want to meet and sleep with someone who has posted here

I'd ask for your email address anonymous 14:20 but I'm afraid I might be to young for you.

i'm obsessed with a song from the disney movie, The Ice Princess! It's this sweet little boppy, pop song with lyrics about young teenage girls empowering and respecting themselves. I must have listened to it a hundred times in the last week.

I'm a 26 year old male.

anon at 09.59: me too. i regret my decision every day and i'm ashamed to admit this because i am vocally pro-choice and always will be and i don't want to give nasty anti-abortionists to use my pain to take away someone else's choice.

for me though, it was the wrong choice, and i regret it each and every day.

I am secretly farming all the IPs that leave a comment so that I can find out who they are and publicly embarrass them.

does that include spider-man 14:30? That’s a bit mean considering the free public service he provides.

Come on people - don't let this twit scare you. You just can't stop now! I keep hitting refresh obssessively and now nothing is happening. What will I do...........where will I go..........?
aaaahhhgggggg!

I am a black belt at karate but am terrified so much of even the possibility of other people's physical aggression that unless I am drunk I cannot be comfortable when I go out; so much so that I see being out with a girl as a problem as that may make me more likely to get involved in a physical altercation.

My diffident manner echoes through my entire life with a crappy job, lack of respect, low self esteem, self hatred, loneliness and depression (I am seeing a psychologist).

Yankee Bayonet by The Decemberists is such a sweet song it regularly reduces me to tears.

13Mar17:29 although my opening paragraph states I fear physical confrontations I feel an overwhelming urge to practice my karate on your husband (despite my realisation that violence solves nothing).

I may audition for Australian Idol this year.

That is all. How cathartic.

I too wish I could confess but can't because I'm afraid the person will read it and know it's me. Everyone reads this blog, after all.

We need another secret website for confession booth.

Anon 12:52 – How could I overlook you? Thanks for the big ups. I’m glad I push you to the point of fury at the mere mention of my name.

If the LITTLE things drive you to fury, I can only IMAGINE how riled up you must get every time you see injustice in the street, the latest depressing third-world country headlines, and taxation etc.

Sticky wicket isn’t cricket, pricket.

Anonymous 13:38 - Hmmm…. Please explain. How does the fact that your irritation makes you want to “pee in (your) shoes” constitute irony?

If it makes you feel better, I’d gladly piss in your shoes. Though I’d prefer to do a number 2.

Anonymous 13:42. - Just shut up? Let me think about it……. *tilts head, twirls hair around finger, blows bubble of gum*

Um…… NO.

Hope writing those four words to me were worth it, though. I bet it "sure beats work!" (see below).

Anonymous 13:44 - “Unintentionally amusing and terrifying”… yep, I speak with no irony whatsoever (hey, Anon 13:38! I just used the word “irony”! And I believe I used it in the correct context! I can offer you English grammar tutoring lessons if you like. You can just repay me with your wisdom!)

Gotta say, too, sports fans, all this usage of the term “anonymous” shows tremendous balls and isn’t annoying AT ALL in terms of replying to specific people.

Yep, writing here sure beats work. “Sure beats work!” Do you walk around at the beginning of the week and tell coworkers they have a case of the “Mondays”? That’d be cute.

When I read BeKazzled's comments I remember what a little twat I was when I was eighteen

I want to give BeKazzled a hug. Not because I think they are right, but because I think they would like it.

15:10 - man, it just goes on and on and on! Are you, like, a big, responsible adult now that you're older than 18? Do you carry a briefcase? There's a copy of the Financial Review here in the office. I'm sure you've done this before, but sometimes I pick it up, sit in the kitchen, and look through it so my colleagues think I'm mature and stuff. It's great! But what does "economy" mean?

To all the haters, put on a fucking poncho or something. You'll feel better in two minutes.

Anon at 13.15 - ha, thank you. Gotta say, all the talk of scratching and biting is making me look forward to five o'clock and a nice, stiff...scotch

Hm. Another confession. I drink way too much. I really quite like being drunk. Whiskey-headed woman, indeed.

15:15. Thanks for the offer, but i've never really been the hugging type.

I've spent 14 years getting to where I am in my career and I think I hate my job.

I have no sense of direction and get lost all the time which makes me think I'm not actually that smart.

I'm fucking someone I shouldn't be, and don't care. It's the best sex I've ever had.

BeKazzled reminds me of a guy I dated for a while. He was a very frustrated man who always cared too much what other people thought or said. His frustration came out as an almost-hysterical competitiveness.

The funny thing was, he wasn't really much competition, intellectually speaking, but he always thought he had won the point.

BeKazzled, people would take you much more seriously if you avoided the SHOUTY CAPITALS, learned to omit your exclamation marks and - most importantly - stopped hitting the refresh button.

BeKazzled, dearie, I have read every post here and most of the hateful invective is coming from you. There are lots of opinions but you are the only one who needs to be right, it seems.

I wonder what secret insecurity Bekazzled has that causes him or her to lash out so.

I regret not making the previous comment anonymous.

anon 15:20 - you're so right. I want to be taken seriously. That's why i'm writing on a blog!

Probably, after these few comments i've posted today, Allen & Unwin will call me up and offer me the chance to write my own novel. It'll be a kick-arse advice book. I already know what it'll be called! "He's Just Not That Into You #2!"

I THINK I MIGHT EVEN HAVE THE TITLE WRITTEN IN ALL CAPITALS!!!

Speaking of insight, ever wonder about the fact that this guy of yours was clearly a douche, yet you still dated him?

And, um, as to the refresh button, it doesn't work on my computer. I gotta go out and come back in. It takes a lot of effort to do this, but otherwise I wouldn't be able to talk to you clever-clever people.

i confess i hate kylie.

it seems to be un-australian to admit this.

er, she can't sing, has a face that now resembles joan rivers and i've never once heard her speak about anything other than herself.

Andy Pants you always come off as a bit of a sweetie. How old are you? In what state do you live?

I have fantasies about tying up BeKazzled. They are not sexual.

I sleep with my ex boyfriend because I know he doesn't want to and it fucks with his head.

It's my revenge for the way he fucked with mine.

I tell myself this so I don't have to admit that I love him regardless and feel repulsed at the thought of being with another man. We broke up over a year ago. It's only me that is hurt.

I think BeKazzled would argue ad infinitum if possible; negative attention is still attention, after all. I wonder if they are at all perturbed that they have ruined this thread.

I'm jealous of my best friend because she's perfect.

pobodys nerfect

15:24… hateful invective? You might note I’ve only lashed out at those who already lashed out at me.

Andy Pants… finally someone with a name!... Um, insecurity. I gotta think about it.

Wow, it’s amazing. I’m really not insecure. I worry about not having enough money, but that’s not insecurity. Errr…. I really can’t think of anything.

Weird.

15:28 - Yep, Kylie is b-grade.

15:30 - How can you fantasize about someone you've never met? I like the "not sexual" threat.

15:31 - Oh, for shiz. I admit I feel faint regret that I "ruined" this thread, but then I realize: I didn't. I gave sincere advice to two people on depression (continue with your treatment) and romance problems (identify what you want), similar to others have done - and then people came out and launched an attack on how "trite" my advice was.

The "irony" (there's that word again!) is that you must use cliches to address issues, because we all have the same issues.

I feign embarrasment and surprise everytime a girl comments on the size of my vagpoker. I then chastise her superficilaity. However I would be dissapointed and discouraged if a girl didnt repeatedly worship its size.

i think it's weird that when someone confesses, bekazzled feels the need to agree or disagree with them. rather than just letting it be.

Men with large penises are usually tiresome, unimaginative, egocentric bores like 15:39. Give me a man with an average one and a some creativity any day over a donkey.

BeKazzled. Please just go away. You're a twit.

I am going to start using the term vagpoker and pretend I made it up myself, from scratch.

I don't care that my neighbour's friend (who I've never met) is dying of cancer, and I don't want to have depressing conversations with her about it. I'm avoiding her because I know she wants someone to talk to I don't want to pretend that I give a damn.
I know that it's cold, but I don't know my neighbour that well, and have already been her 'shoulder to cry on' for most of this year. I don't want to do it any more.

BeKazzled. Unless you are prepared to post your full name address and phone number on this blog please shut the fuck up about people who choose to post anonymously. How many fucking times, "Anonymous" is no more anonymous than some stupid pseudonym like BeKazzled. For all anyone knows there are many people posting as BeKazzled but the uniformly tiresome nature of the posts would suggest that it is just one irritant, you.

I drink 2 bottles of red wine a night and hide it from my partner. I then sit and cry about my bird that died 6 months ago because I miss her so much - even though she used to scream all day and drive me nuts. I miss her..........

I have violent murderous fantasies about people I have never met named BeKazzled.

I grew up in a poor family - part of me thinks I'm better than my middle-class friends because we really had to struggle. They're all left-wing and political, as am I, but to them poverty is a concept, not something tangible. To them They've never been hungry. They don't understand the concept of 'being broke' - they think having a few hundred dollars in savings and forty bucks in their wallet means they're hard up. The idea of literally not being able to afford a litre of milk, or some toilet paper, is inconceivable, as there is always a back-up for them. The idea of having to sell the fridge or TV in order to pay the rent, as happened a number of times when I was growing up, is so foreign and strange to them that they find the idea absurd.

When I hear my mid-20something friends whining about their parents when I haven't had any since I was a teenager, really pisses me off and makes me resentful. They act as though living at home and completing their VCE or Arts degree was a great feat, and I just don't get it. To know that their parents will be there for them, emotionally and financially, no matter what, offers them a security they can't even imagine. It aggravates me sometimes that they're so privileged and ignorant of that fact, and makes me think they're weak for not being more independent.

And then I realise that, more than anything, I'm just scared as hell and that I miss my mother so very much and wish that I had the chance, just once more, to hug her and tell her that I love her.

i think it's sad that people can't confess without bekazzled feeling the need to validate or dismiss.

anon 1308, we should hook up

or narrate.

or comment.

it's fucking annoying.

I throw haemorrhoid juice and dog shit at people on facebook, because that's how I roll...

Anon 16:04 you just touched me (in a non priest-ish kind of way).

i confess i have some weirdo crushes. i remember being a little girl and wanting to marry Oliver Reed from 'Oliver', even after he beat up and killed Nancy. i thought if he just had someone to take care of him, he'd be okay.

i'm jealous of my friends' beautiful storybook families, even though i know they fight. my family was crazed and i never had a dad. i love watching girls hug their fathers. but i also find it painful.

although i know they are awful and evil for my body, i adore slurpees. i'd live on them if i could. there is nothing better than sucking one down on a boiling hot day.

i stare at men on the train, old, young, ugly, handsome and have dirty fantasies about them. they would never realise how much just a glimpse of their hairy chest turns me on.

I hate my partner's family. Every single one of them.

I love my husband but I can't imagine going through our entire marriage without having at least one affair. What's worse is that I don't WANT to go through our entire marriage without having at least one affair.

i am a stepmother and i am empathetic towards all of the wicked stepmothers and cruel queens in fairytales.

the fact is, you never love another's as much as you love your own. and it is a constant battle to be nice sometimes.

Hey, 16:00 - I made it clear it the "anonymous" irritation was in terms of replying purposes only, NOT to know anything about that person or reveal their identity.

Wow, you people don't realize how lame you all sound - the ones who have addressed me. I have far from replied to every single person's admission on this board - instead, it's been 99% replies to you haters.

It's impossible for me to argue with myself.... you forget that i'm replying to other people's criticisms. Not initiating the criticism. Sheesh.

i guess cos people just want to use this forum to confess. they don't want to be told their confession can be fixed or whether it is a justified confession because you agree with it or not.

A long time ago, I downloaded Christina Aguilera's whole first album.

She had to hit the 'high e above middle c' in her audition to be the singer of the main theme for Mulan.

BeKazzled, you continue to amuse me. I didn't say 'sure beats work', but I kind of wish I did. It'd suit these lemon flares I'm wearing.


I'd like to confess that I didn't find Office Space as amusing as everyone else seems to. I don't know, it's just... not that great. Milton is unwatchable.

I am having a sickie today.

I wish I was having a sickie today.

The breakup - and fallout - from my last relationship was awful. I did a lot of wrong and I got my karma. The last year should have been beyond awful, but in lots of ways, it's been the best time of my life. There have been long, interminable periods of heartbreaking grief for what we had, what I lost; moments of hopelessness and times when it was agony to just contemplate the next day, and the next. He was so much a part of me that losing him felt like dying - all the cliches of having your heart ripped out of your chest rang true.

And yet, since the relationship ended, I have changed so much. Life is fun. I forgot that it could be fun, and exciting, and that a time would come when he wasn't my first waking thought. I'm confident now and actually interested in the future, as well as in the very fulfilling here and now.

So I guess my confession is that I'm glad. I'm glad that I loved him, and although I cheated and hurt him and was extremely self-destructive in lots of ways, I'm kinda glad that it's over and that it all happened the way that it did, because now my life is my own and I get to enjoy it. I hate the thought of still being in that relationship and feeling little more than numb from the lack of affection. I miss him but I'd never, ever want to go back and it's amazing to feel that way in comparison to how I felt a year ago. I don't know if time heals all wounds, but a little gaffa tape and time spent with a good scotch and some beautiful friends, does wonders.

Oh - and I confess that despite my better judgement and love of music that is actually good - I still love Darryl Braithwaite's 'The Horses'. I'm incurable. Unclean, unclean!

Anonymous at 16:38, it's not too late. Although you just missed The Magic Roundabout so it's perhaps not worth it anymore.

I recently started seeing a wonderful guy, who I think I might be falling for...however he's spending time with his EX over the next few days as she is moving overseas.....and it is doiny my head in! But I can't tell him - then he'll know I'm an emotional, often insecure gal.....thus destroying the illusion of "cool me"

"15:24… hateful invective? You might note I’ve only lashed out at those who already lashed out at me."
No BeKazzled, I started hating you when after the very first 9 confessions, you felt the need to weigh in and give your opinion on all of them. I think a collective 'nooooooo' could be heard from every one else reading.
There's always one tool who has to fuck things up. Sad really.

I want to write something really inflammatory under the name BeKazzled but I couldn't think of anything funny.

oops typo I meant "doing" not "doiny"

I have no friends. People say I'm annoying and always missing the point. I don't understand why.

I had to look up inflammatory on the online dictionary a) because at first I couldn't even think of the word, and b) I couldn't remember if it had one l or two. I would normally consider myself a serious word nerd.

Actually, it's amusing to see everyone misplacing their anger at "me".

Perhaps the smarter of you may have realized by now that not all of the "BeKazzled" comments are from me. That's why it makes me laugh to hear that "BeKazzled ruined this board". Who IS "BeKazzled"? Quite a few people here are, apparently, according to all the comments.

Not too dissimilar to the fact that some of these "confessions" are clearly fake.

Please, please, please, please, please BeKazzled, can you just leave it alone. I can respect that you have an opinion but you’ve ruined this entire thread feeling the need to respond to every barb or perceived slight on your character. Seriously, “sticks ‘n f%$#@n’ stones” playa!

I work for The Age. I'm happy in my position, but I wish I were higher up just so I could fire Sam DeBrito, author of the blog All Men Are Liars. He's a total fuckwit and I want to play all sorts of tricks on him like Amelie does to the Grocer. Or alternatively, punch him in the back of his head.

@ Anon16.58: From one print media playa to another, please. Please do so.

I want to punch the other (female) Sam blogger in the back of the head. I hate that shit. B grade Carrie Bradshaw-esque try-hard crap!

I spend 80% of my time at work fantasising about having sex. In fact, I'm often late for work because I have to masturbate before I get out of bed.

I do have lots of other interests but sex has become a huge preoccupation lately.

I'm a girl.

I hope interest rates go really high because I missed out on the property boom.

Kazzle is the new fucktard.

Kazzle, n. To be a complete waste of time and space with idiotic and irritating comments on everything. You are such a Kazzle!

I think I love him.

Like others on here, everyone comes to me to tell me their problems or complain about the state of their lives.

What they don't know is that I don't care. About any of it.

I can't take their problems on anymore. I can't deal with it. I need to look after myself.

i worry about being of average intelligence and average looks. i drive myself to learn more skills and useless information so i can at least appear above average. in the end, i probably just look like a wanker.

i thought about using bigger words than necessary in this confession.

I think Anonymous @ 14Mar09:51 has the most delightful sexual fantasy.

"Kazzle is the new fucktard. Kazzle, n. To be a complete waste of time and space with idiotic and irritating comments on everything. You are such a Kazzle!"

Um, who is causing all the problems here? It's you guys and your constant narky comments. Get a life, think about something else! Don't tell ME this is supposed to be a confessional, MAKE it a frigging confessional!

Again, I didn't write a LOT of these comments under my apparent "name". Even posting this is pointless, because it could be written by somebody else.

How stupid and immature that certain people here make up fake comments under someone else's name... and then degrade them under the blanket of "anonymous", just to start trouble. Wake up and smell the bullshit, losers.

Today I have eaten 12 Golden Circle icypoles, and nothing else.

You're such a kazzle, BeKazzled.

I love attention and have found my true calling lurking on blogs and message boards being a tool and inviting senseless debates. The only erection I can muster is when my ego is inflated by spewing vitriolic abuse upon my victims.

I'm 18 and a New South Welshman born and raised, Anon.

Venting and reading these comments here today has actually made me feel great.

Not in a sadistic sense, but just in the sense that I don't feel like I'm the only person in the world with issues and that some people are facing similar problems.

This is dark, but what the hell. Part of me is enjoying watching BeKazzled being ostracised and excluded, because I was bullied and scapegoated throughout my school years, and deep inside me is a sweet relief that it's not me. That it's someone else who's not in synch with the group, not welcome.

I'm also sitting here yelling inside my head, 'run, you idiot, you can't win this. Can't you see the more you fight, the more they hate you?'.

School's cruel, and so's life if you don't smarten up.

Is anyone else just scrolling quickly through bekazzled to get to the budding soporific/polly romance?

I live vicariously. I need a life. Those new to this blog should know that about two years ago I did indeed get a decent shag from someone I met through this blog. Ms Fits is a little love guru.

i've told so many lies i don't know what the truth is any more.

I'm not an ambiturner - I can't turn left.

I was ostracised at school too. Not for any good reason mind. I was tall and a bit fat but I was a delightful, sensitive, kind and thoughtful kid if a bit intellectually precocious. Kids are cruel and the adult is just the kid with layers of mask applied. I don't fear persecution or crave acceptance and I didn't as a kid. I only really objected to the occasional schoolyard gang bashing. But I haven't forgotten anything and the types who were the perps I can pick very readily in their adulthood.

400 comments? Wow, that's a lot of anonymous pain. Hugs, y'all.

I once hooked up with a girl who is now an international porn star

it makes me feel dirty, rather than a sense of accomplishment

I really appreciate Bekazzled's comments to Emile about depression. From someone who suffered undiagnosed for a long time and fought any type of medication, Bekazzled is spot on with his comments and I agree.

Sometimes I hate my mother and I should be greatful for everything she's done for me but I really hate her sometimes.

I'm really turned on by men with long hair! Woo hoo!

you're not getting anything out of me

I confess that life is great.

Just remember:

Live everyday like it may be your last

&

Strike while irons hot!

C'mon peeps...its a beautiful world

I've written, deleted, then rewritten five different confessions in this space, yet it's only just dawned on me that they all converge on the same horrifying truth that haunts me all day, every day:

The fact that I don't know what my future holds, it frightens the absolute shit out of me.

I may act crazy and excited and happy, I may get the good marks and I may act like I live to eat and drink, but I'm in treatment for the eating and the drinking and the thinking.

I wish I could tell, or even finally kick the habits, but I'm afraid of who I am without them.

other women frequently mistrust me around their men even though i have never slept with a taken man.

without meaning to i exude some kind of weird sexual energy and make people uncomfortable and insecure. i can't talk to anybody about this because i would come across as conceited and self centred, which may actually be true.

i wish i could harness this energy and use it for my benefit. i haven't been in a relationship for 6 years.

i am 40 and am pretty sure i'll never have another relationship.

I 'm scared of balloons.

My husband cheated on me... with an overweight librarian whom he met online. The sad thing? I'm more embarrassed by the details (bra size 14A; age [35! i'm 27]; occupation; meeting place) than I am by the general point that he strayed. Maggie Batch, Monash Uni librarian.... I hate you!
At least he claims that you were rubbish in bed.

PREDICTION: BeKazzled/BeDazzled/BeFrazzled/whatever will NEVER get it -- he/she will continue to respond until the end of time... but the rest of us will all recognise him/her as one of those dreadful self-righteous, overly communicative types who can't stop themselves from having the last word.

Whoever you are -- one of you or many -- for Pete's sake, fuck off! If nothing else, you're boring, and you clearly haven't grasped the beauty of the confession booth. To quote my teenage sister: Get a life!

My confession: I am nearly 30, and I still use the "overdraw" function on my savings account to make it through the last few days before pay-day. Sad but true.

I hate opera....

I heart Tony Jones. But lately... I've been cheating on him with Virginia Trioli.

when i look at vaginas in porn, i only like the plump looking ones. the scraggy, skinny ones aren't nice.

i'm a girl.

I hate opera too.

me too. hate the opera!

i kind of like it.

Why Captain Hammock - I had no idea!!!

Over the past year I have quite possibly had a six month (non-physical) mind affair with a girl I met at uni, even though her gf scares the living piss out of me and would likely murder me if she ever found out. I thought i was no longer attracted to her. Every time i see her i wish i were far far away.

I also feel it's time to come out to my family, but fear they won't truly understand what exactly i feel. I fear they will look at me in shame and disappointment. I fear they will not believe it's possible for people to be attracted to both men and women. I fear they will have foolishly optimistic hope that i will still marry a man and have children.

I get oddly poetic at times...

I still play with Lego and in fact dream of setting a Lego world record.

Had to have something strange in there =]

I hate librarians too! Why are they so mean and nasty? Surely all those books should make them happy?

Yars, Maggie Batch stole my lover too. Also, she gave me an UNJUSTIFIED late fine in 1999.


Okay, just kidding, my lover left me for a stenographer, not a librarian. But same diff. And Maggie Batch (rhymes with snatch! No: rhymes with baggie snatch!) is such a lovely loose-woman name. I wish it had been her....

I dream of Jeanie.

Anonymouse 15:00:02, you think that's bad?

I regularly leave it to beaver...

I love my parents more than I will ever love my husband. He's lovely... but they epitomise love and decency, while we can only fake it. If I had to choose between them (between my husband and my parents), I'd choose mum and dad without a second thought.
My happy childhood left me unfit for marriage!

My cat got hit by a car today. My first thought was:
'What a nuisance.'
My second:
'How much will it cost?'

I love my cat -- he's gorgeous; in a weird way, he's my best mate. But I still thought these thoughts. I think my girlfriend saw it. She raced him to the vet, without me, and told me not to worry about the cost. She said: 'Remind me not to call you if I ever get hit by a bus.' I think now she thinks I am a stingy, heartless bastard. I worry that she may be right. I hope my cat will be okay. Why do some people instinctively worry about money, and others not?

The last 16 comments were all me.

C'mon -- it's not that baggy...

It's profoundly immature, but I giggle at anybody who declares themselves to be a 'teenage Stalinist':

http://cpwcpw.wetpaint.com/

I despise everybody who has posted after 17:00 for being on the internet on a Friday night.

I bet Ms Fits is doing something more interesting...

I find Tony Jones sexier than Kerry O'Brien. I want to bite his neck. My God.

And Maxine is/was sexier than Virginia, who is vile. And a sycophant.

Nobody likes Kerry's looks. To paraphrase Morrissey - women only love him for his mind.

Anon 19:08 – I know your message wasn’t supposed to be sympathetic (“you idiot”) but don’t sweat it. I don’t care what people’s reactions here are, it’s a message board and not the real world. And if the more I fight here, the more I’m hated, that’s not bad either. “They” don’t get it - they’ve both initiated the hostility and reacted to my defence, so I don’t feel like the loser on this one.
It is all getting a bit boring, though.
23:24 – It’s too obvious to jump in and predict someone will be having the “last word” – it’s the best form of trying to get in the last word yourself.

I also like the whole general “ruining this board” theory. I can’t argue with myself, and is this board really the be all and end all of everyone’s daily enjoyment?
“The board”… Do you actually think this is a lasting entity? How long do you think this particular web space is going to be around for?

I just want to fall in love one more time. I want to wake up next to someone and be happy that my day started with her. I want to know that balls to bones I'll never love anyone as much as I love her right now. I want someone that I'll put ahead of myself rather than just thinking of my own selfish self.

In truth I just want to be in love and be loved in return.

Draaa-ma. *jazzhands*

That draaa-ma and jazzhands was in reference to the BeKazzled vs. The World crap, not the lovely confession @ 02:13.

I feel ridiculously irritated when I unwrap a pad and realise that the Libra Odd Spot trivia sheet is one that I have already read.

I'm 29, I went to Cat Power tonight and took much pleasure in the fact the fey, twee indie kids would grow old. I want to punch them.

Btw, as hippie as it sounds, for spreads- tahini and honey with grated carrot on organic rye. Seriously. Ohmohgod.

To Anonymous@ 2:28

I totally get that. I think Libra have 10 facts that they keep for 18 months at a time. Stupid fucks seem to forget that we bleed every month. It gets old very fast.

There seem to be a lot of lesbians in this confession booth. I enjoy this immensely.

Also, I can't believe I'm still awake. My sleep patterns are gonna end up killing me.

i'm a college athlete and having sex with my coach who is in love with me. i'm definitely not feeling the same way but can't stop now without quitting, plus the sex is good.

Hey Ms Fits -- the librarian being discussed here is a real person, which I think is not quite fair play, even if she did have said affair. Whaddaya reckon?

If you stray you pay. Librarian was due.

I am happy

I think I am completely in love with a friend. I think about him all the time and have to tell my self to focus on other things. The thought of him with someone else is devastating. We spend a lot of time together but we have never had the conversation because I don't think I could handle the rejection. I'm fat so he wouldn't be interested and I should just deal with it....

I'm Anon 19.08.

BeKazzled. Sigh. My post wasn't sympathetic or non-sympathetic. It was a confession.

Which is the point of this thread. Your inability to grasp this is what's shitting everyone five ways since breakfast.

And...Anon 0.49...Don't judge me for staying in tiger, some of us have big Saturday gigs to prepare for.

I irrationally hate everybody who works in a career that doesn't directly help people in third world countries: society has given u rich idiots so much in the way of education and nourishment, why the hell aren't you prepared to give something back to the people who are dying because you want a gucci bag?!?!?!

I've wanted you since I met you. I've loved you since we became friends.

I'm a girl and I am scared about being naked with my boyfriend because I think I have too much pubic hair.

@ hairy is not sexy.

Try shaving, waxing, trimming or getting over it.

i love painting over the chips in my nail polish until it's so thick that it chips off in massive chunks when i pick at it. sometimes it takes weeks to get that built up.

i also love interpol, even though they're not at all in keeping with my taste in music. his voice just resonates inside me. i can't tell anyone though because i'm such an opinionated bastard about music i just know i'd be mocked.

I still think of Brian Mannix as a poet.

I am absolutely lost when it comes to intimate relationships.
I can do my job, my sport, my family and my friends with peace and ease most of the time, but with my sexual partner i am most likely to act like a lunatic at least half the time, and feel like one the rest of the time.Im fucking over it.
Im 31 years old, and feel and act like im 3.

Fuck it.im putting my cock in hock and going to the monastry.

I am ever amazed at the amount of women who ask for anal sex.

I say to others and myself that i want only one girlfriend to settle down with, but with every girl i shag i get a little rush knowing that the scratches on my bedpost are rising.

12:29- There's no shame in that. Paul Banks owns. I feel your pain, though. I'm a huge indie snob but have a thing for the songs of one Justin Timberlake. What? They're catchy, damn it!

I confess that this is about my fourth confession in this thread.

I justifiably hate people whose careers involve helping those in "third world" countries as well as all kinds of stuck up do gooder environmentalist types. Frankly I wish they'd stick their post modern imperialism and condescension up their granola arses and recognise that on the whole they are only in it for the schtick, posturing and opportunity to feel superior. A fine example are the idiots who are oh so concerned about global warming but who refuse to do the numbers and realise that nuclear energy is the only way forward without either a significant human cull or the abandoning of technology for agrarian living. "anonn" @ 10:37 evidently hasn't been to the "third world" if she can posture about it as if it is an amorphous concept.

I also loathe portly middle aged femo-lesbo women with big dangly ear rings, shaved grey hair and too much purple and green clothing. I wanna punch them in their withered cunts.

I justifiably hate that there are people who refuse to believe that altruism exists in others in order to assuage their own guilt at being materialist cocksuckers. Like if they stopped to consider how selfish they had been there entire lives the last remnants of their flimsy souls would piss away altogether.

Ms Fits, I slept with your ex... He was no good. Hope it was better for you...

I see orders of magnitude more altruism from the "materialist cocksuckers" than from the cliched leftist environmentalists who are barely able to provide for themselves, let alone give anything of value to anyone else. What's more they constantly potest and emote but rarely actually bring any intellect or analysis to the challenges we all face. If they did they would not clutch their ill considered fanaticism quite so closely.

I confess I am a nerdy geek. I don't feel that bad about it though because we own the rest of you comprehensively right about now.

I confess it's a pissweak way to say what you really think about politics in an anonymous confessions comment section of a light hearted blog.

But I confess I am glad to be informed that there are people out there who think this way, as it forewarns me to be prepared for their prejudiced mindset hidden behind a facade of agreement and faux hand wringing.

Just recently I read a hypothesis about political persuasion that suggested certain relatively fixed personality traits dictate the way people react to the world around them and affects the decisions they make.

It has led me to the conclusion that possibly, just possibly, people can't help being conservative capitalist cunts. They are just born that way, kinda like the kids on the special bus. Give that they may grow.

I think I love TLS.

I think TLS is a wanker.

"i'm the friend and the gal that people always go to with their problems. i care and i listen and i never judge. and i try to make them smile again. then i got sick. pretty majorly sick. and nobody was there for me."

Me too. I'm scared that i'll never trust anyone again because of the way my closest friends behaved.

Anon @ 12.58 - you are the male version of me!

I'm sick of living below the poverty line, being a mature aged student is a financial disaster zone. But I want to chase my dream and nothing will stop me.

ps - i so don't fit in to society's norms & I love it every day, but I kinda get sick of people feeling sorry for me not having a mortgage, husband and kids.

I'd like to be friends with a particular blogger but know he'd probably find me boring.

I'm the anon. behind the 'best friend' comment on this post.

I can say that I stopped trying to get in touch with her and we no longer speak now.

It feels fantastic.

I think at the end of the day we grew apart (or more specifically, I think I grew up while she's stuck at 18).

13:40? I have been to a third world country. I was born in one. I am 17. Maybe now you understand.

i wish i was you. ahah. no really. or similar.

BeKazzled, you're not making sense any more. No, this isn't the be-all and end-all of our lives. But we like it, nonetheless. What's your point? And again, no, we don't expect this space to be around forever -- it'll linger on the web for a while, I hope, but by this time next week it'll be archived. Again: what is your point? Even if it's trivial and ephemeral, this blog is great -- we enjoy it. It's therefore still possible to "ruin" it, even if what you're ruining isn't solid and eternal. That's not a hard thing to grasp, is it? And yes, as everyone else has tried to explain to you, you have failed utterly to grasp the point of the confession booth. In the olden days, posters used to confess to all manner of things, from the dreadful to the inane to the wonderfully hilarious. This time around, your pompous editorialising has sidetracked us, and it hasn't been as much fun as a result. Thanks! I know you won't get it, and no doubt you'll respond with more over-blown, over-written self-justification. Oh well. I'm glad I don't know you in real life.

I used to work in a bookshop, and I used to be responsible for closing. One night, I desperately needed to go to the toilet, but I hadn't finished counting the cash, filing the paperwork, etc yet, and there was no toilet in the shop. I went into our back-room/kitchenette and used a colleague's tupperware container. I'm a woman, if any of you were wondering.

Might I suggest that trivial and ephemeral things are even easier to spoil than long lasting things?

Like when you spend your time trying to hear a gig, while the fans of the headline act chatter incessantly all the way through, until, your mood completely spoiled, you spin around and have to tell them to shut the fuck up.

By which time it's too late to enjoy the music, as all you can think about is inserting your beer bottle into the nostril of the nearest 80s flouro wearing schnapper head and punching his nasally girlfriend in the tit.

Er... that analogy got a bit carried away. Sorry. But "noobie" fans of the Midnight Juggernauts are a pack of disrespectful cunts.

Many people think I am a wanker, and indeed I can't deny it.

Any man who says he isn't, is lying, or has no penis.

Over the years, I've stuffed around a total of 3 men who liked me quite bit. In the 3 years since, I've had a 2 week fling with the most boring man on the face of the earth, a one night stand with a canadian in the next apartment and spent 3 months waiting for an amazing guy who ended up deciding we couldn't be together. And thats it.

I feel I've paid my dues, gotten my karma, can I have some happiness (and a good fuck) now please?

I confess I never knew sanitary pads had odd spots.
Mostly because I'm 45 and never had a long-term relationship.

Please Ms Fits, make it stop, make it stop......I just can't laugh any more...........please post something else...........

My friends invite me to social gatherings but I always cancel at the last minute because I am to scared to go.

I got involved with guy because I needed someone to put me back together. I thought he was pretty nice, but never my type, so I thought I'd be safe. Turns out our time together was the happiest in my life. And though I now have a fabulous job & a full social life, which I didn't have before- I still think about him and wish he hadn't left me. And if he told me he wanted me back with no explamantion for breaking my heart, I'd give all this up & go to him...

My elder brother chose to get married the same week as my 30th birthday. Our parents threw a huge surprise party for his 30th but, the first time in my life I wanted some attention on me, he stole it. I don't think I'll ever forgive him.
I feel guilty and selfish for feeling this way.
I also think it's why I keep forgetting he has a second child.

My mother died when I was a teenager. We never had a great relationship. We were too alike. Stubborn and expressive. We never fully understood eachother. And now I find myself telling people we were so close. That we had the bond I wish we had had. And sometimes I find I almost believe the lie...

Anonymous 15Mar19:26, I used to do the same thing (still do sometimes...). Its worth trying to go, if only for a few minutes. Or else your friends might stop inviting you, and thats a much worst feeling.

I have a four inch penis.

My sex partners don't say anything about it but I know they laugh and tell their friends.

This is why I only do anonymous one night stands. I don't want this getting around my circle of friends.

I hate that when my friends have problems, I jump to help them, and make sure they're okay. But when I went into hospital to have major surgery, there was no one there when I woke up, and no one cared to even ask me how I was. I try to warn them that what happened to me could happen to them, but they don't seem to care about it. Then, when they get a tooth ache, or a sore foot, they cry on my shoulder that the world is going to end for them.

I've had enough of being their shoulder and not having any one there for me anymore. I deserve it too.

i love my boyfriend to death , but sometimes i wish he was a she.

i was in love with a colleague, had to make doing with being best friends, then offended her with a genuine mistake ... we made up, but she told me she could 'turn on me in an instant' and i know she could because she's basically psycho ... and now i'm sad and bothered that i'm only friendly with her at work because being on her good side is 'safer' than being her enemy

16:26 – 1. Um, again, another who claims I ruined it all. I have mentioned again and again I haven’t written all these posts. A lot of people chimed in both under my name and in response to my comments. I can only conclude, then – simple mathematics here, 16:25 – that there are OTHERS here who enjoy stirring things up, and use my name to do so or use me to spit their vitriol. So here’s your message board, which, “In the olden days, posters used to confess to all manner of things, from the dreadful to the inane to the wonderfully hilarious” – did it ever occur to you the demographic for this board has changed? That, um, maybe it wasn’t just ONE poster who apparently ruined everything?

My much-talked about and degraded advice to a mere two posters – one posted comment to a person going through depression, and another posted comment to a person grappling commitment phobia – got thanks from the people involved, and condemnation from everyone else here that has lasted for days. I only gave advice to these two problems (out of the hundreds posting on here) because these specific situations struck a chord with me. If I was the obsessive, self-absorbed, stupid wannabe psychologist everyone here would have me be, I’d be giving unwanted advice to everyone.

I’ve noticed many others here provide advice back to others – several posters gave advice to a depressed person earlier on in the blogging – and they were not targeted because they were under the guise of “anon”. And who’s to say it’s the same person under the title of “anon” who keeps providing advice to others every time weI see it? They don’t get attacked, because they just show up as “anon”, not by a specific handle.

Phrases like “pompous editorializing” are ironic, by the way - it smacks to me of someone trying to sound smart, so don’t accuse me of being you.

Please guys, stop being pedantic and just get back to the confessionals...

1. I haven't read all the other confessions yet - I got too impatient because I want to spill.

2. I LOVE it when Fits does this.

3. I was still SO into you when we stopped doing our thing. We'd had periods of not speaking in the past and we always came back together. I wondered if you thought about me as much as I thought about you, over the years. I saw that you were almost always one of the first to read my mail list each week.

When I heard you were getting married, I was almost as shocked as when I was told my best friend was brain-dead. I still miss you.

Hey Interpol & Timberlake fans. Destiny's Child, particularly Bootylicious, is my weakness. Also, although I like to think I'm a music snob, whenever I look through my CDs my collections appears too mainstream for what I think my tastes are. Definitely a music snob!

interpol, timberlake and destiny's child fans ... my guilty pleasure is east 17 ... "everybody in the house of love" etc. etc.

the shame, the shame

thanks for the support 13.04, 9.18 and 9.34.

i'm sorry, 9.34, but guy who wore the hat in east 17 was seriously one of the least attractive boy band members i've ever seen.

see, told you i was a music bastard. i just can't stop myself

Oh, E17. The memories.

All right, All right, everything's going to be all right. Let the Light of Love shine through.

Ah, thank god for youtube.

Hairy is not sexy-

Hairy IS sexy. I'm a woman and i want my women to have hair. I want to know i'm making love to a woman, not a child. I do not get the hairless thing.

And i even don't mind when i get pubes stuck in my teeth. It's all part of the lovely experience, in my opinion.

Why is being hairy associated with adulthood? Why do people say women who wax it all off are trying to look like children, but men who shave their heads don't even raise an eyebrow? Hairy is not disgusting, but neither is hairless. Our humanity and maturity should not be defined by how much hair we have.

I feel strongly about this.

Ehhe.

Fair point. I didn't say people who wax it off are TRYING to look like children, i just prefer hair because i find it much more womanly and sexy. Mainly i just don't really understand why people find hair down there unattractive. Meh.

I shaved my head for cancer yesterday, but still have a full map-o-tassie downstairs

so I'm a bald woman with a bush

That's hot

OH NOES PEROSNAL PREFRENZ!!!!!

I just read 500 confessions in the form of detective narration whilst listening to Mile Davis King of Blue.

I hope death comes soon.

I'm secretly in love with my friend who's 16 years younger than me. I know I'm old enough to be his mum (if I had been a lemon ruski-drinking crack whore in my teens instead of a bookish goody-goody)...but he's lovely. And he's my soulmate.

I hate work. There is little chance of a promotion. I am not challenged.

But I stay because I have my own office and I am the alpha male in the group.

I don't want a new job because I hate being the newbie. I like people coming to me for the answers, not the other way around.

I sympathise 14.24

I am secretly in love, perhaps it is just lust, with a man twenty years younger than me. I am 45 he is 25.

We work in the public service. I am his manager.

We have deep and meaningful conversations in the office.

I play the concerned friend when he tells me about his relationship woes. I get terribly jealous and want to tell him to ditch the bitch.

I am gay. My new boss is lesbian.

She looks remarkably like a guy who I had the most mind blowing - out of this world - animalistic - red raw sex.

My one on one supervisory meetings with her are strange and just a little tinsey wheensy bit erotic.

I am addicted to Facebook's Knight Hood game.

Viscount Tze just seized a 40 point vassal from me.

Please make it stop Fits!!!

I cant fuckin take it anymore...

I have spent the whole day doing nothing.. when I should be doing homework.
I'm quiet aware of what I'm doing however, I feel as if I am unable to stop myself.

I admit that people that write quiet when they mean quite, and vice versa, shit me.

I am glad I am no longer with my ex for many reasons. One was that she was terrible at sex. If I said she was a star fish it would be an insult to star fish. My current girlfriend is attractive and great in bed. However when she lied still yesterday morning I closed my eyes and pretended she was my ex and came oh so easily.

"One good thing that has come of it is that I am learning to stand up for myself. He hates that I am."

no, he loves it so much he can't articulate it.

he hates himself for forcing someone he loved into an unconscionable position; his frustration and aggression are just outward manifestations of his own self-loathing at feeling unable to love again after the worst kind of heartbreak.

he hates himself because he never used to get beaten by anything, he was ballsy, and indomitable and unafrais of anything. ever since that one breakdown nearly destroyed him, he's a cowardly shadow of his once dynamic self and is not living truly.

I'm gay. No on knows. I think I'm going to die unhappy and alone. I'm too scared to go after the guy I'm in love with.

My partner has really slimy saliva, and it puts me off kissing him.
I worry that one day my tolerance will run dry, I'll stop loving him in spite of his flaws, and that my leaving him to his own devices would make me responsible for his death.
I worry that I will never be able to lose the weight I need to...some days I can't bear to look at what I've let myself become.
And my job has instilled me with a deep and abiding loathing for the general public. I am a worse person for working here.
In addition, I feel an almost uncontrollable urge to slap parents who let their children scream unchecked in public places.
Why should other people be allowed to make my life that little bit less pleasant simply because they were too stupid or cheap to invest in birth control, and too indifferent to care for their horrible offspring?
But despite all these things, I am, most of the time, actually happy.

Don't be so sure no one knows. When I came out many people sighed with relief.

Everytime I read this thread I make a confession so I know where to start reading from the next time I check in.

I have eaten 15 hot cross buns in the last 2 days

i actually just read all of the comments before me in one reading...

this has been great

my confession...out of many i could pick...

I'm not good at relationships, but so fucking what - I think I'm a good person at heart, and I'm not about to get caught up in this self hating bullshit purely because I'm alone. I have plenty to offer this world, and if a relationship isn't it, well lardy-fuckin-dah.

fitsn keep it going, please don't close it down.

but you know we can always continue on our own, down the page a bit.

i reckon i know who anonymoose is...

somebody who talks about "being a good person", kind of gives it away.

huh? how so?

Yeah because it's such an unusual thing to say, only one person would say something like, I'm a good person...

Is it shallow to want to break it off with a lovely girl because she has never heard of Amelie?

It depends if she's 16 or 36.

I am nearly 40 and am attracted to a 24 year old, who happens to be my friend. I am more than sure he feels the same way but for a variety of reasons we keep romantic links with other people in our respective lives, as if not to ever have to face the prospect of copping off together.

I realise life is too short etc but I can't bring myself to make the first and boldest move because I fear, above all, what other people would think of the age difference especially as I have bagged out the likes of Demi and Madonna for not picking men their own age.
And Michael Douglas makes me ill when I see him with Cathy Zee Jay.

I am gay. I am out. I am a woman. I have had a lot of loose sex. Its not as hard as it may seem. Get into it people. Homo is the new black baby.

anon at 15Mar02:55 I also wanted to punch out the young indie kids at the Cat Power gig and likewise I also can't wait until they grow old.

PS With my pissy attitude, I really stand no chance of getting together with a 24 year old.

For all the wannabe cradle-snatchers...

When I was 17 I had an affair with an Irish folk-singer 20 years my senior.

It didn't work out, but I don't regret a single thing.

Likewise, 21.15. My first and best love was when I was seventeen and my manfriend was 35. It was the best love I've ever had and I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.
If you're in love, fuck what everyone else would think. Everyone elses' judgements aren't going to keep you warm at night.

Just asked my son why he was going snowboarding in New Zealand in July.
I feel SO ASHAMED.

bah?

I'm simply fascinated to know who you think I am...I'm not particularly well known (Though my home town Adelaide is basically a small country town)...I'd love to know who you think I actually am...go for it...post and we'll see...

I think Ms Fits is smart and attractive but am too shy to say this to her face.

anon123 - Shy is cute, but seriously "smart and attractive"? It's hardly baring your soul.

Yeah me too anon123...

Ive met her on a few occasions, know her best friend well enough, was introduced to her by another mutual friend, but have always been way too scared to do anything about it.

Im a wuss.
But only when it comes to Fits..

Im actually in the ballpark of what she would go for as well.
A musician in a well known band
a bit kooky
And i like sex and porn
Just like Ms Fits

Last night I fucked a practical stranger whilst my very dear friend who recently made her feelings towards me obvious slept in the room next door. I'm pretty sure she heard me come.
Plus I'd spent the whole night dirty dancing with her.
I think I'm a bad person.

Bad person doesn't really cut it 22.11

19:12... Make her watch it and if she doesn't like it, then dump away

I secretly like enya...I'm a 21 year old male

and not gay

I have an evil-smelling bellybutton.

I feel like I have enough love for anyone. But there's no one I can find to give it to.

"Wifey said...
My husband cheated on me... with an overweight librarian whom he met online. The sad thing? I'm more embarrassed by the details (bra size 14A; age [35! i'm 27]; occupation; meeting place) than I am by the general point that he strayed. Maggie Batch, Monash Uni librarian.... I hate you!
At least he claims that you were rubbish in bed."

i hate women like you. i also hate women who have affairs because it's a betrayal of sisterhood - but fuck you. The one thing that comforts you is that this woman was rubbish in bed? Oh honey, honey, honey. He's lying.

And you're an idiot for believing him.

I want to kill my annoying housemate.

My housemate is so fat that she breaks my furniture, but I can't find any polite way of saying 'hey, lady, stop sitting on my 60's couch that wasn't built for 21st century obesity, you're bursting the springs'.

Anon 22:11

What you did to your 'dear friend' last night was incredibly cruel. If you don't want to be involved with her, there are approximately 3082 kinder ways of letting her know, some of which include leaving the country.

anon 22:03 you sound HOT.

23.10 - You're right. I don't get it when people blame the person their partner had an affair with. They don't have to be loyal to you. Your partner is the cunt here. He probably spun the librarian-shag some good lines about you being no good in bed, too, you know.

Im 35 and fucking a 20 year old DJ. I didn't know he was 20 when we first hooked up. I thought he was 23 (big difference, I know!).
I'm also madly in love with my best friend. He is only 10 years younger than me. I'd give up the 20 year old in a second if he'd only say the word, but I guess at this stage its part of my therapy to try and get over my crush on my best mate.

Seriously, you're all the same person, aren't you?

@ Ben...ha! I'd like to meet that person...or not

No confession really, but Im in a longstanding relationship with a bloke who's 49. I'm 28. No, he's not rich. But the sex is great and the love is even better.
I agree with Age is just a number.

Confession: I like to pick my nose.

I moved to Melbourne 10 months ago and I have not one single person who I can say is my friend.

It kinda sucks.

I've lied that i'm sick so I can have a few days off work. I can't stand my job anymore but i'm stuck in the job because of the money I make, it's the only thing keeping us afloat, my husband earns crap money in his job. He knows it and is looking for something else.
So meanwhile i've been stuck for the past 7 months doing something I hate where i'm continually spoken down to, looked upon as dumb and unchallenged all so we can eat, live in this house and pay the bills.
I hope every day he'll get a decent paying job so I can quit mine.

On a car trip to the country one of my dogs vomited all over my 10 year old son. As we were only 10 mins away from our destination I didn't stop and get everyone cleaned up, but kept driving telling my son he just had to put up with it. I feel like the world's worst mother, and imagine there is a roving team of child protection officers waiting to swoop on me and take my son to a new home where vomit is cleaned immediately.

To Anonymoose...

Adelaide? Then relax, I don't know you.
I don't know what i was thinking.

I didn't lose my virginity till I was 24 and feel like i should have a chance to catch up on all those years of just me and a couple of Mags. Plus I want someone who will just do anything I ask (sexualy of course).

@ 17Mar11:18

I moved to Melbourne 8 years ago and still hate just about everyone who lives here ;) I'll be your friend.

i also hate women who have affairs because it's a betrayal of sisterhood - but fuck you.

What kind of bullshit is this?

Yeah, women are betraying the sisterhood by having an affair. Fuck off with your moralising.

People fuck other people. Maybe it's your expectations of what's "normal" that need adjusting.

I confess I wrote all the Anonymous comments above. It was very tiring.

I think I'm the only person who reads this blog.

i'm moving to melbourne on friday week, i'll be your friend too.

Scientology started as a joke when I was drunk with some mates.

Betty Slocombe outted himself in the paper on the weekend.

I confess to feeling chuffed I noticed this.

I have sex with my cousin on a regular basis. He's fucking amazing in bed.

^ That kind of turned me on, a little bit.

I'm scared that if I owned a gun and my house mate started talking about cars that I shoot him in the head. I'm glad I don't live in the US.

Pretty much every woman I see, I wonder what it would be like to have sex with her. And in most cases, I find some bit of them that I find intriguing. The problem is, if I find them even remotely attractive, I actually want to have sex with them, which leads to chronic indecisiveness.

I just wonder, how am I supposed to choose my favourite if I haven't tried them all?

I went to see 'The Other Boleyn Girl' just to hear Natalie Portman say 'with my thighs' in reference to how she stays on a horse. I could have saved some money and just kept watching the trailer on youtube.

I once had to transport a really sick baby but my hosts had made a special lunch. I didn't listen to my instincts & I went to lunch. The baby died on the way to hospital.

The twist is the lunch was the dead baby

Oh god, 14Mar16:58, could you seek some kind of fast-track promotion and do so? That man (and his female counterpart) make me almost as depressed about Australian humanity as the last 11 years of the Howard government. Maybe more.

I confess that I'm probably just low-level depressed in general, which feeds my appalling self-esteem and sense of impending doom, even about the happy things in my life like my friends and boyfriend.

I confess that I also really like 'The Horses' by Daryl Braithwaite.

Aaahh, that's better.

I can will myself to get tonsillitis, a cold or the flu. Once I tried it and got hepatitis A though.

I resent 15:55's comments.

I happen to be highly intelligent, moderately creative, quite sweet, fairly cute, and well hung.

My wife loves it and I do not wish to have an affair with anyone on this page.

I am a prat.

There's no Maggie Batch at Monash Uni.

my mum told me she wanted to kill herself yesterday

I want to donate my organs for transplantation... tomorrow

When I was in grade 8 I was jealous of my friend so I pretended to be a girl named Tania on msn. I talked on msn to him until he fell in love with Tania then when he asked her out I rejected him. He found out later and went schiz.

To 14Mar09:59

thats how most Guinness World Records start

Anon 00.12

Lets go!
Ive gotta face it one day...fitz is not cumming to the party at any stage soon, so i may as well move my obsession elsewhere.

So tell me about yourself?

I know your a blogger, and a sucker for punishment(if you like musicians)..so far that's two boxes ticked.

What else should i know?

I download Fergie songs for my girlfriend, but mostly for myself.

The only porn I like is of cartoon characters.

Anon 15:53 / 22:03:

I'm also a musician, nerd, satirist, cat person, sex addict. I love to sit outside in storms, complain at length and participate in intellectual wank.

Irresistible eh? What's your email address?

Deep down I'm only a vegetarian because I know when an advanced alien species comes to eat humans they might spare the vegetarians.

I have to flick the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave the room or my family will die.

I paid the ferryman. I even fixed a price before he got me to the other side.

I took sexy away again.

^ Best confession ever.

That of course was meant for Chris de Burgh.

Thinking about me and Natalie gives me Emotion Sickness.

No boys have ever come to my yard.

I killed her.

Nobody likes me the way I are.

I wish they all could be Arizona girls.

i want to put my penis inside a newsreader.

I have an erogenous zone on my stump

Its actually quite easy being green

When I fall in love, it's generally only for a couple of weeks.

I am gonna give you up.

I get really annoyed at people who bandy about the use of the word 'cunt' like its going out of fashion. I don't find it offensive or anything, it just makes me want to scream. You're not fucking trendy. Give it up.

I once left my kid on Mars and he froze to death

I ain't saying I'm a gold digger- but I ain't messin' wit no broke niggas.

That's quite enough out of you, celebrity confessors.

Woe is me,
I cannot see,
My cataracts are blinding me.

1 more..

Oh here's to my sweet Satan.
The one whose little path would make me sad, whose power is Satan.
He will give those with him 666.
There was a little toolshed where he made us suffer, sad Satan.

Well anon 15:53, there's not a whole lot to tell.. I'm not a blogger though, just a chronic reader of blogs. Very much into music and involve myself in the scene accordingly..I wonder if i would know you?

Anon 16:01 hah! Irresistible.

You can BOTH email me on hotforthemuso@gmail.com or just continue the banter here..

i cry every time i hear my flatmate and his girlfriend have sex. they think i'm getting off on it, judging by the pointed looks.

i'm still a virgin and not by choice or dysfunction. i'm 27 years old.


p.s. i also must confess to accidentally posting this in the last one, just to prove i'm the idiot you'll think i am.

I once drunk a mixture of tuna juice and OJ for $2.... an I liked it.

i know who the fuck the arctic monkeys are.

"Yeah, women are betraying the sisterhood by having an affair. Fuck off with your moralising.

People fuck other people. Maybe it's your expectations of what's "normal" that need adjusting."
=

Oh, fuck you. People fuck other people, yes, also people cheat on other people - it pisses me off because it's happen to me. And it was awful, so my idea of normal is that when the man i loved cheated on me - it hurt me deeply and has irrevocably changed me.

I'll happily keep my moralizing & you can keep your expectations of normal. Which is obviously believing a low-life cheating idiot.

It sounds like those two deserve each other.

I don’t believe monogamy is a natural state of being for humans. I think it is an entirely social construct of institutional control but accept that it is an intractable truism for most people. I do not openly discuss the notion with anyone as I think they will doubt my motives, including my wife. Despite this belief, I have never cheated on a partner and don’t think I ever will.

My porn obsession is so all consuming that sometimes I wank in front of the computer for hours, miss lunches with friends, and forget to eat. When I cum I almost immediately feel lousy, but then an hour or two later I'm ready to go again. No wonder I don't have a girlfriend.

I skipped uni today.

a) "I don't get it when people blame the person their partner had an affair with. They don't have to be loyal to you."

True, they haven't made the same commitment to you as your partner has. But they still have the same basic ethical obligation we all have to each other, right? As in, we should all try to avoid deliberately causing pain to other people? Is that a crazy-radical idea? And fucking a person who's in a supposedly monogomous relationship will very likely cause their partner much pain. So it's still a cruel, unethical thing to do, even if you don't know and will never meet him or her. Society only holds together because we accept that we have moral obligations to strangers: Smashing my neighbour's window, stealing his car or killing is dog are all immoral, even if I have no personal relationship with him whatsoever. Cheaters of all genders deserve bad relationship karma for the rest of their days.

I consider myself to be a fairly modern young woman. Not a feminist as such, but I'm all up for women's rights etc as we all should be. But I have to confess that all I want to do right now is marry my boyfriend (of one year) and start having babies and have him support me. I feel like I'm a bad woman because of this. Shouldn't I be wanting to further my career and travel more and all that jazz first?

I confess I am not enjoying this confession booth as much as the last. Remember when you could be seriously crazy and/or candid and the priest would just nod sagely, or at very most raise a bemused eyebrow? It was genuinely cathartic.

Now, he's liable to slam open the little window and yell through the hole:
"YOU IDIOT! I HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU! YOU FLIPPING FUCKTARD, YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA, DO YOU?! LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME I DATED SOMEONE LIKE YOU!!..."

Nup, it's just not the same. I blame Vatican II.

I have smashed my neighbour's window, I have stolen cars. I've slept with married women. But I draw the line at killing a dog.

I hope the Australian cricket team lose every match they play. Fuggen bogans.

I never want to give another blow-job ever again. Especially if there are photographers around.

Me and my house mate got drunk at the punters and then went home and ate Whiskette's, we tried one at first, and then ate some more... not so bad after a shite-load of beer. TRY IT!!!

The Cat -

You're not alone in thinking that.

I feel the same way about my boy.

Anon 19:18, I think you've the beginnings of a great country song right there...

Perhaps also Anon 19:51, come to think of it...

Anon 18:22 I am 14Mar 16:21 and I completely agree with you and also don't discuss my views with others for fear that they think I'm just scared of commitment or trying to justify a potential future infidelity. I think that as humans we are completely capable of making a conscious decision to be with someone else and share our lives with them, but I don't necesasarily think that it's a natural state and I am sick of feeling ashamed about desiring initimacy with others (but not necessarily spending/sharing my life with them like I want to with my husband).

To the Anon at 19:02,

"Cheaters of all genders deserve bad relationship karma for the rest of their days. "

While I understand the heartbreak of being cheated on, this statement gives me the absolute irrits.

So much so, that I have to say:

People who don't have the ability to be able to think outside of their own experience deserve just bad karma full stop for the rest of their days (or at least until they can prove they've grown an empathy gland).

I think I don’t like my son. There’s nothing wrong with him – apart from being a pre-pubescent and taller than me – I just don’t like him as much as the other one. I don’t think he knows. I hope he doesn’t know. You’re supposed to love your children no matter what. And it’s not as if he’s a bad kid. I guess it’s just…broken.

I really like you and all Ms Fits but I think I liked Mif more.

sometimes i buy albums from red eye records (fab record shop in sydney) purely based on the little description the helpful staff put on the price sticker. it usually doesn't turn out well, sometimes it's downright scary, but today's purchase is just lovely. i wish i worked there so i could write the descriptions on the little stickers.

the album is hercules and the love affair.

this is my second music confession.

oops, no "the" just hercules and love affair.

oh, and i'm totally not convinced monogamy is the natural way for humanity to exist. in fact that's a small factor in why i just broke up with my husband.

I'm listening to Fleetwood Mac.

Oh Paddy O'Shaugnessy-Maguire, I love you and want to have your babies, who would probably be Catholic before they were born... but I think the problem lies less with Paul VI and more with Ms Fits' move interstate and up the alphabet.

And since I can't let myself be yet another person who fails to keep to the spirit of the thing, here's my confession:
I once had oral sex with a guy in a cushion-lined area between the dressing room of a Melbourne band and the stage where they were playing their set, and we still weren't finished when they made their way past us afterwards. I really thought they were great, but I was too afraid to tell them that later in case they thought I wasn't paying enough attention.

To the Cat - surely being a feminist means making life decisions that suit you, without being judged by others and by yourself. If it feels right, go for it.

Confession: I want to be good. But I'm not.

I like the light hearted celebrity song confessions much more than the infidelity blues going on.

Why can't my blood be coloured white? I should talk to some medical doctors, coloured blood,
it's just not right. I don't like anything, I can't do anything about it. But I like dancing, and I like the disco, 'cos I left my heart in San Francisco.

I'm fucking someone I shouldn't be, and don't care. It's the best sex I've ever had.


x 2.

I am a shocking judge of character, and when partnered with my slightly addictive personality, I end up absolutely besotted with people for the first few weeks I know them, and then loathe them forever after.

I have spent more time in my bedroom in the last month than I did all of last year, because my new housemate is silently judging my loungeroom tv watching habits.

I understand why people feel the need to blame the 'affair-ee' but wish they could direct their anger at the person who actually cheated on them.

I've never had sex with anyone I was in love with, or who was in love with me.

Although I purchased it, I haven't listened to The Whitlams last album. I just don't love them like I used to.

I harbour so much resentment for people who have not given me a second thought in years. I hate that I let such negativity rule my life. I sometimes wake up with a clenched jaw and nail marks on the inside of my hands from making violent fists in my sleep. I don't know how to get out of this rut.

I judge people so harshly and so quickly, yet being judged is the thing I fear the most.

It is as though my life has stood still for the last 8 years, I have gone through the motions but I am literally still in the same place, scared of the same risks, paralysed by what my life isn't.

Online confessionals are dangerous.

oh my god i love anon 23.14 for making me frown over what the hell those lyrics were to. until i realised. and now i'm laughing out loud to myself.

that's fucking fantastic.

medical doctors. i'm still laughing.

Thank god you're here- Grandmas been raped

I wish I could grab the paintbrush from the woman on the bottom right of the screen and paint her all over.

I've had sex with people in all kinds of relationship states. I didn't consider any of it cheating. I never asked anyone to do something they didn't want to, as far as I am concerned, the "cheating" happens in your head before your even touch anyone else.

The rest is just a physical act. It doesn't mean anything. Sex never does. Only emotions do. And guess what? People are going to hurt you intermittently until you die.

Luckily, they will also make you sporadically happy.

C'est la vie, bitches.

I'm a jerk. I do good things but only so other people think I am a good person and can reap the benefits that come with being the nice guy. If my actions are good but deep down I don't give a shit then should I be judged on my actions or feelings?

I was in my car once, I was barely 17 and really wanted to go all the way with this girl but before she'd do it she wanted to know if I'd love and be with her forever. Long story short I said I'd be with her 'til the end of time but now I just want out. I'll never break my promise but I'm pretty much just waiting for the end of time so I can end it with her. Am I a horrible person?

Ah, Meatloaf. You would do anything for love but you won't do *that*...

I have the need to stand out at all times!

I just killed my dog.

yldrawkcab kaeps ylno nac I

00.16 I love you x

00:14, the girl with the paintbrush is probably, like, 80 now. Or dead.

My guess is 18Mar00:14 is like 17Mar15:55 and likes the picture- not the thought of a real person.

p.s imagine the chick on the bottom right getting it on with the chick in the top right. Cartoon porn heaven.

I love my baby but sometimes his stories bore me. Also, I hate knowing that he judges me now. I thought I was the one who got to be judgey in our relationship

I'm really not enjoying the hot night weather. Can't sleep.. !

I don't want anything to do with my "best friend".

She told me that I was raped because I was wearing tight jeans.

I resent her.

@ random simpsons quote: the correct quote is:

I think that I shall never see
My cataracts are blinding me

Shame on you for misquoting.

I stole two packets of Mint Slice biscuits from Coles.

I'M GOING TO HELL.

"People are going to hurt you intermittently until you die. Luckily, they will also make you sporadically happy. C'est la vie, bitches."

Oddly, this is the most reassuring thing I've read in ages. Cheers for that!

I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain. Its laughter and its loving I disdain.

Don't worry Dwayne, at least you have your books
and your poetry to protect you

I am really quite happy. I don't want to be anyone else. I don't want to be with anyone else. I don't want to look any different. I don't want to live anywhere different.

But sometimes I wish my husband had a bigger penis. And that it was cut rather than un-cut. And then I would give him more bjs and want to have sex more often.

I'm afraid to go clubbing without my husband because I don't trust that I won't go home with some random guy so I can have anal sex, which I did all the time before I got married,but my husand hates anal

which husbands hate anal?

is this possible? i thought they all wanted it.

oh my lord...

"I've never had sex with anyone I was in love with, or who was in love with me."

me too, anonymous. me too. it makes me incredibly sad thinking about it.

which husbands hate anal?

is this possible? i thought they all wanted it.

Mine apparently.... so did I!

so why did you do it with all the random guys?

Anon #660 sadly it sounds like the comprises we all make.

"so why did you do it with all the random guys?"

i never said that i have had sex with random guys.

I have been reading these confessions for over 2 days, and either don't have the guts to post my own, or don't know where to start.

I find comfort in the similarities between my own secret confessions and those I'm reading.

Me three, 11:13. I'm 29. Sad.

In fact, I'm not sure I've ever had sex sober, either.

This is my umpteenth reply in this thread, and I keep checking it obsessively. I need a life.

to: i didn't...

sorry, i misunderstood. when you said you didn't trust yourself to go clubbing on your own because you might be tempted to "go home with some random guy so i can have anal sex" put together with the bit straight after where you said "which i did all the time before i got married" kind of led me to believe that you did.

sorry my mistake obviously.

but maybe what you MEANT was that you had anal sex all the time before you got married (without random guys), presumably because you liked it? but you've said you didn't.

*head explodes*

it would be interesting to know how many people ARE actually posting over and over.

You never could remember my birthday.

I can't remember your middle name.

Do either of those things really matter?

i cant stop thinking about how much i love my ex and i want to break up with my current boyfriend just so i can run straight to my ex and tell him i love him and want to be with him forever. he is in london.

and im not afraid of being alone. in fact i relish it and hope that i end up a barren spinster just so i can live my life the way i want to.

Anonymous said... 18Mar13:12
to: i didn't...

i didn't isn't me Anon. I don't know what they're on about!

On occasion, I really wish I had a minor eating disorder. You know, just to keep trim. I realise how incredibly selfish, stupid and vacuous that sounds. Writing it makes me feel gross.

Mmm. Self hate.

I am worried that I am too big.

I'm worried too, smug geek

At least you're not flashing like Isaac @ 18Mar01:12

I once rode up to this woman on my bmx bike and said "I'm gonna lick your pussy, then I'm gonna lick your ass". I only do it because I'm insecure about looking like a weasel.

Anon 18Mar14:39 -> its ok, we know.....

i feel exactly the same way. i think it might be nice to develop a mild form of anorexia and i often wish i had it.

I want to apologize to a guy who I hurt. He liked me a lot and made it known, he was honest and upfront. He put his heart on the line and I stomped on it. Not once but regularly. I'm sorry. I really liked you but I was not in a place in my life where I could be in a relationship, but instead of explaining this to you like an mature adult, I messed you around until you rightfully gave up on me. I think about you a lot and hope all is well in your life. You will always be my "what if..." guy.

My "what if..." guy keeps contacting me, and I enjoy it. He's witty, and I like the attention. It is tempting. But I don't want to hurt my long term boyfriend.

Man, I'm a bitch.

No your not anon 15:50 wanting attention is normal. But DON'T CHEAT, no matter how tempting. It's the most hurtful thing to do to someone you love.

I hate the cricket team too. They can all get fucked... and while I'm at it football or foolball as I like to call it can eat my shorts, I too am sick of these bogan males ruling our airwaves. Make them all go away.

My confession is I hope 18Mar15:27 is who I think it is- and want to let them know you will always be my "what if..." girl.

I hate that I'm not the first person you think of when you wake, and the last person you think of before you fall asleep. I hate that you make me believe that I am, then cheat behind my back. I hate that I can't escape you. More so - I hate that I don't want to.

Fits: I think you are a fraud.

I always choose guys who are emotionally distant and a little cold. They're intelligent, analytical and basically very cerebral sort of guys - but while they love sex, they seem to lack passion. As a result, I end up feeling unloved and emotionally numb. All of my boyfriends seem to fit this category - except the thing is, the guys that I like, the ones that I really long for, are complex and passionate and loving. Yet when those guys show an interest in me, I back off and appear aloof. I don't know if it's just fear, or if part of me is scared of the fact that it's really ME that is lacking in passion. And I choose the others, the cold guys, cos when I'm with them, it seems like I'm the vivacious, exciting, passionate person that everyone seems to think I am, when really I think I'm actually kinda boring

I was single, feeling extremely lonely and fed up with men one night, so when I happened to pass a cute homeless guy on a street corner and liked his smile, I picked him up in my car, brought him home to my upscale apartment. We ended up having sex, we both had a fantastic time, and it was exactly what I needed.

And now you have homeless guy AIDS

I saw a colleague's snatch when she was doing limbo at the work Christmas party last year.

Anonymous 16:49. Just because people don't express their emotions doesn't mean they don't have any. Some people just internalise everything.

It pisses me off when people don't know anything about eating disorders.

Eating disorders are *never* minor. Anorexia is *never* mild, and it is never nice. It can cause heart failure, muscle weakness, immune dysfunction, and death. It can enlarge the ventricles of your brain, cause osteoporosis, stunt your growth, take away your period and your ability to fall pregnant, decrease your libido. You're always cold, your hair falls out, your teeth rot. You bruise easily, your nails break, lips are often cracked, regularly constipated.

It eventually destroys your relationships with everyone you love, and everything will come second to staying thin - your career, hobbies, all this declines. It consumes you. It completely consumes you.

It doesn't keep you "trim", it wrecks your life. Don't lust over it. It's a disease.

I hate all my friends, but I feel like I'm stuck with them.
I'm pretty sure they feel the same way...
Is this better than being alone?

@17.30- I know all of that. I realise that minor eating disorders don't exist. I actually know and are quite close to a few people with eating disorders. That's why I feel all the more stupid and dirty for thinking it.

"It can cause heart failure, muscle weakness, immune dysfunction, and death. It can enlarge the ventricles of your brain, cause osteoporosis, stunt your growth, take away your period and your ability to fall pregnant, decrease your libido. You're always cold, your hair falls out, your teeth rot. You bruise easily, your nails break, lips are often cracked, regularly constipated."

Same symptoms as homeless guy AIDS

I was raped by my long term boyfriend while he was drunk. I left him several months later, not because of the rape, but because he didn't ever want to marry me.
I'm pathetic.

Anonymous @ 17:37, I sympathise, but you did say you wished you had "a minor eating disorder" which seems to be a strange thing to say if you believe that minor eating disorders don't exist.

maybe she meant an eating disorders minors often have

I've turned down women in the past because I thought they could do better. Then they rebound to some asshole guy and I feel like an idiot...

I'm about 3% sure I flew (using telekinesis) over a tall fence when I was around five years old.

I voted for Howard cos I figured if he was still PM he'd have more chance of being assassinated.

@17.59: It wasn't the best choice of words. You can wish for a golden-candy-pony and they don't exist, either.

The most hurtful thing you can do to someone you love is to get them pregnant, make them get an abortion, then get them pregnant again, then leave them to have a kid, then knock up their sister.

It's way more hurtful than cheating on them.

I'd say a chinese burn is the most hurtful thing you can do to someone. Or that thing from Saw III when they guy had the giant hook through his jaw.

Seriously, have you ever had a real bad chinese burn? It hurts like nothing else.

I really really wish that the two 'what ifs' above get together and live happily ever after.

I confess that I cried when I found out that golden-candy-ponies didn't exist.

I have confessed multiple times.

Some of the confessions are untrue.

Some of the confessions are painfully true.

Everyone who confesses here is going to hell

OMG! I have had about 70% of the secret thoughts expressed on this blog. Are you all me? Am I obsessively spilling my guts online without remembering I've done it? Or are we all eerily alike?

Get out of my head you lot! And note to self: how dare you bare so fricking average!

709 comments? Fuck me sideways, our chests are overburdened, aren't they?

I have heaps of comments above, I wonder if anyone knows which ones are me?

i'm disturbingly proud to be last commenter here.

70% of the comments in a nutshell - if the following are 10, which are the 7? anal sex, infidelity, lesbianism, unrequited love, eating disorders, bad parenting, bad music obsessions, stuck in the wrong job, depression and meds, big dicks.

Brilliant, Anon @ 18Mar01:12, just brilliant.

And to Meatloaf: no, you're not a horrible person. You clearly didn't just use her for sex, which is all anyone can rightly commit to at a time like that. "Forever" is a word that is never true in relationships (although very common at 17!) and nobody should ask for such a commitment. All you can ever do is be true to yourself, and if that means ending your relationship, then it's the right thing to do.

19Mar00:08 You took the words right out of my mouth

Whenever i look at the useless shower of bastards we all are at relationships(reading this blog proves it), i often go back to what "kenny" said in his dunny film.

On marriage

" Cut out the middle man; find someone you hate and buy them a house. "

I work in a bank during the day and then I'm a raging drug addict at night. I've kept my 2 worlds seperate for years.

I've just had a weeks holiday and the only fun thing I did was read these confessions.

I wish I loved my husband. Life would be so much easier.

wow...eating disorders bad. who would have thought it? the reason these are anonymous confessions is because people feel ashamed of the crazy inner workings of their fragile minds. so shut uppp and stop telling them they are wrong to have these vulnerable, weirdo thoughts. it's like someone has quietly, fearfully uncovered a fragile egg and said "here it is, this vulnerable, weird part of me, i know it's odd but here it is, i'm putting it out there." then some asshole comes along and stomps their big ugly foot on it and goes HA! I TOLD YOU IT WAS BAD! just shut the fuck up and let people say what they feel. give them 5 secs of a soft landing where they don't have to defend the whackiness of their thoughts. and for god's sake don't bore me to death with a rant about how evil eating disorders are. NEWSFLASH - THIS JUST IN! THEY ARE!!

I worry that one of my cats is pregnant to her brother.

I find men who vaguely resemble my father or stepfather attractive, but don't actually like either my father or my stepfather.

I judge people based on small indicators and make up my if I like them or not in the first 5 minutes of meeting them.

I'm nearly always right.

I'm in my last year at uni. I go to about 3 hours of class a week and live off centrelink. I love it. I haven't failed anything and get quite above average but put zero effort in. I hate working. I don't want a proper job and want to stay a uni bum forever. I'd be happy to keep doing degrees and accumulating HECS that I'll never pay off but I know its very unlikely anybody would want a family with HECSdebtman.

I'm a girl who wants to be a boy who wants to be a girl. I also don't have a gender.

I also really, really want to be a drag queen.

I want a partner I can genderfuck with. I relish androgyny. It's by far the most attractive state of being.

Um, BeKazzled:

Font (noun)

1. A basin for holding baptismal water in a church.
2. A receptacle for holy water; a stoup.
3. The oil reservoir in an oil-burning lamp.
4. An abundant source; a fount: She was a font of wisdom and good sense.

to shut up and let people etc...

i agree, it's a confessional. people open up and then other people have to come along and make them feel bad/worse.

can't help themselves.

it's ok if it's funny though.

to 1200 babies on ice aka pot stirrer:

where have you been? that bekazzled font/fount clanger was DAYS AGO.

I have withdrawals from my favourite band and find myself typing 'cow' instead of 'CO2' and 'minotaur' instead of 'monitor'.
I have just passed a week without listening to any of their songs for the first time in 2 years.
I worry that I am a fruitcake with extra nuts.

I am growing a beard because I think it will make me less attractive.

Anonymous 12:11 - are you a female?

People think I'm joking when I say I can't stand children and I prefer animals to most people. I'm being absolutely serious.

I invade the personal lives of and go on to harass bloggers who arouse me.

I overcompensate when I don't like somebody and then they think I am their friend and care.

I confess that this confession booth is out of control and something should be done!

18Mar16.18
I'm on facebook if you want to get in contact. I will leave it in your court.

Homeless guy AIDS? Who the fuck asked you? I didn't want your opinion. I just told a story in a confessional. Tell your own or shut up.

It was funny though.

I didn't give my opinion, I gave you a diagnosis and warned of the symptoms. Add crankiness and lack of sense of humour to the list.

... both of which can definitely also be caught from cute homeless guys.

God I'm bored with my life.

i've cheated on every partner i've ever had. now i'm not interested in sex any more.

I don't think I even know what good sex is.

I haven't had sex for six years and never come in company.

i confess i bought my first cask of wine last night and i think i might be in love with it.

19MAR12.01

I have a compelling urge to know who your favorite band is and why you are not listening to them at the moment. Please reply.

Incompetent and unorganised. Didn't have ipod, MP3, CD's when visiting. Currently listening to cd's bought whilst away.
Which band? I've always wanted to have an air of mystery about me *happy sigh* besides spruiking favourite band on someone else blog seems impolite. Shouldn't have mentioned at all, but was startled to find I even knew how to spell minotaur. Never previously called upon to type.

I like to daydream about having superpowers.

This thread has made me laugh harder than anything in my life for years. That makes me sad.

On the plus side, I'm coming to terms with the fact that my "what if..." guy is someone who will always have a part of me my husband can't have, I'll never stop wanting him, and it doesn't matter. Maybe I will leave my husband for him one day but until then I can just think "what if..."

To Anonymous on 13 March 15:46

I have the same problem. My mum passed away about 14 months ago (on Christmas Eve of all days) and now my dad is with a new 'lady friend'. I hate that he can move on, but I can't. I can't even bring myself to meet this lady because she symbolises what I have lost.

I feel miserable after I masturbate.

I feel guilty after I masturbate cause for the most part I fantasize about being gang raped in a hotel room by a group of old men.

I slept with my boss who was married with kids and more than twice my age. I had never felt like that about anyone else and tried to convince myself I was in love with him to make myself feel better. He treated me like shit, used me for sex, gave me an STD and sometimes I still think I love him.

I used to call myself a feminist until I met him. Now I know I'm just a fuckwit.

I am bored with my life

Most of my 'friends' are self obsessed and dont bother to ask me to go out and have fun with them. I think it's because secretly they're all ashamed of me. The last straw occured the other day when, in the middle of an SMS conversation, my 'friend' never messaged me back. Because she did not want to "waste credit" on me.

I peruse these blogs for hours, bored with my life, hoping to one day be a semi famous wordsmith. It'll never happen.

I am trying to write, to express what's inside me but whenever I try self loathing boils over and instead I spend time on facebook and myspace looking at newly added pictures of my 'friends' having fun without me.

Sometimes I wonder if I killed myself, who would turn up at my funeral. Then I realise I would be dead and so I would never know. Stops me every time.

And now here I am.

I fucked the girl from "Hanson".

I honestly don't see how anyone could be 'bored with life' with all the terrible shit they have around them to entertain them.

Suffering is life.

Has anyone here read steppenwolf? How can you say your tired with life when there is surely something out there you haven't yet experienced?

'bored with life'

I used to say this too. I probably still sometimes think it. Don't you people realise how beautiful you are? You're perfectly faulted, fractured and broken. Just like a rose petal or the sound of a old record with dust in the cracks and everything else that's beautiful in the world.

It's warped beauty, it's sick and twisted and sometimes it doesn't make sense. It's distorted, but every aspect life is beautiful nonetheless. The best thing anyone can do is learn to laugh at how fucked it all is.

22.32: I agree one hundred percent. But it can be hard to just "learn to laugh".

I am 26 and only just now realising that the 'adults' are the same age as me. Like newsreaders and people who achieve things.

Most scarily, I am the most adult person my age that I know, but most of the time I feel like a scared kid in a masquerade.

This has become worse since I started a kind of dream job, a massive and undeserved promotion where I regularly deal with politicians and media and do strategy for a large and influential organisation. I am shit scared and don't know wtf I'm doing, I have no idea of knowing if I'm doing the right thing. Also, I've always been a little bit socially awkward so I have no idea why or how I got this job.

In summary: I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, but whatever it is, it's making history.

Anonymous 22:35.

I think it's about surrendering yourself to your true feelings. Seeing your suffering from outside yourself and most of all (for me at least) not being too self-critical.

everyone can laugh, try it with me.

Hah.

See?

Just read steppenwolf.

I think I'm still the mopey bastard I was before I read it, but it helped me to see things in a slightly better light.

Damn predictive text form filler thingy.

I'm not Andy Pants.

Not Andy Pants at all.

I don't think I have one true friend in the whole world. All I want is just one person, just one, who cares about me as much as I care about them. It hurts that I have so much love to give but nobody wants it.

I feel exactly the same way as anonymous 23:36.

Speaking of "Hanson", painfree, I just downloaded and will very much enjoy "Lost without each other." I started liking it very much on Jessfamer's recommendation a few years back.

When I'm in social situations, I often find myself feeling so uncomfortable that all I can do is drink. Then I end up making an arse of myself, but I don't remember it, so it's all okay.

I just took up smoking, I dont know why.

I once took up yoga so I could suck my own cock.

Almost every dream I have centres around me searching for this girl, who I spent a night with almost 3 years ago.

I've stopped looking for someone else because no-ones going to compare.

sad, huh?

I've been married for ten years and would dearly love to have a threesome with a girl and another guy. Just thinking about it, particularly watching the guy fuck the girl right in front of me, never fails to give me a massive hard on. I pass couples in the street and I'm tempted to propose an arrangement - I find them a hotel room if they fuck while I watch. I often wonder if my wife would be into it - I think it would probably give her better interest in sex. We never do it often enough, and I'm tempted to tell her she can get her own boyfriend if it means that she'll fuck me more often - and as long as she tells me all about it when she does! I'd love her to phone me in the middle of sex with her lover and give me all the details while she's getting fucked. I'm thinking of paying for a man to surprise her with wild sex for her birthday while I'm at work. Then he could come back and fuck me up the arse while she watches.

I'd like to be your wife.

I am kind of anti-semitic. I have a bunch of Jewish friends who are cool, but then I see those guys with the hats and the ringlets and I get really freaked out, like actually physically scared. I hate Israel but my job is organising advertising of Kosher products. fuck. i hate myself sometimes. I am not a Nazi.

I'm pretty sure that if I manufactured bread-wafers I would begin to hate catholics. In fact, I hate them already.

I found out one of my girlfriends was a catholic once and I really wanted to dump her, but I didn't because I was lonely.

She had this smug self-righteoussness that made me want to puke and she even once or twice told me that I was wrong and she was right, without ever trying to explain why. I thought she was ignorant and unintelligent.

The more I come to know people with christian belief systems, the more I see that they are all exactly the same ignorant unintelligent people.

The more I look, the more I come to see they're all the same.

yeah, I hate Hillsong and the like with a fervour only matched by the idiots who worship/tithe there. It'd be fun to burn it down.

I am friends with Jennifer Hawkins on facebook. The other day she joined a group called, 'I've been blessed throught the Hillsong Music Ministry' (sic)

I deleted her.

I can't stop thinking about anonymous 13Mar16:44. How can that be so?

If it's religious, please forget that, it's all bs. Do you really think if there was something capable of creating all this that they would care what you think and do?

If it's appearances or physical issues, please see a prostitute or something.

If I could meet your friends I'd be giving them a kick up the arse.

The Last Scientician said... 15Mar14:19, are you talking about our economically conservative pm?

I knew I had to break up with my LDR just hours after we first met- he splashed pee on the back of the toilet in the bathroom of the hotel we were staying in, and didn't bother to clean it up. This has influenced everything since, but I can't tell him. There were other factors that ultimately led to the breakup, but that's what started it. That, and that as soon as he fell asleep that night, I started thinking of how I could contact an old fuckbuddy to see if we could hook up again, even though years and many miles had passed between us.

And this new bra makes my tits look fantastic.

Some of the things that inspire me most are fantasies about the life I could lead if I were different. Usually, this involves cute boys I have crushes on.

I have a crush on Timt. I think everyone knows.

i have always wanted to be great at my job but no matter how hard i try, i suspect i will only ever really be good at it. & what's the point of that? lots of people can be good. no matter how hard i try nothing ever seems to change for me, i never seem to get anywhere with it... the trouble is it's all i've ever wanted to do. it still is. it just seems pointless, though.
it makes me feel like my life is an endless sisyphean exercise... & then i think perhaps that's all life is anyway.

I've been trying to use my latent psychic powers to encourage my exboyfriend to MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE.

My stunning lack of success I think is why they are called "latent psychic powers".

I am probably the most jealous girl in the world.

I recognise this is due to my super low self-esteem, but I can't seem to help it.

My partner tells me how he feels, and I trust him completely - it's the girl I know who's interested in him that gets me worried. She's known his friends longer, and I worry that will work against me in the end.

I wish I could be one of those people who go with the flow about these things, but I can't. I've tried and I just can't.

between the ages of about 5-9 I was involved in incestual games with my 3 and 6years older brothers. I never felt threatened or bad and dirty at the time and when they stopped playing with me I went on to play much more milder versions of these games with a younger cousin and girl in my street (2yrs younger then me).

As my brothers grew older they also grew quite violent towards me, I think this made it easier to repress everything that had gone on in while I was in my teens but I also think they did it to me because they realised once they were older that it wasn't the done thing and wanted to make me and the memory of it go away, or at least they were trying to ensure I wouldn't speak or, I don't know, I've put it down to their guilt.

They both have kids now and I hope that they don't do this to them, but I don't think they would because it was quite circumstantial when we were young - before I was 8 all my grand Ps were dead so for the 8+ years prior to that my parents were running around caring and grieving for their dead and dying parents, I think that this non-presence, our grandPs dropping like flies and my dad's accessibly 'hidden' porn collection started everything.

I don't feel bad for having been 'abused' because I don't feel that I was abused at this time, their beating into me is what I point to as abuse. But I do feel very very bad often for having 'abused' the little girls.

For all of this I see myself and my brothers as victims of circumstance, but separately myself as a ruiner of lives for having continued along the theme.

Sometimes when I'm going down on my bf the most disconcerting thoughts pop into my mind like 'i wonder if I XYZ when I was little'. This is off putting. Or as bad, I'll get a full colour memory looping in my head of some such similar thing.

i also feel freaked out because my current bf (who knows this about me sort of, i think he dosen't always remember it) often comments that my eldest bro and sis in law look so similar they could be bro and sister and worse then that my ex bf used to tell me that my middle bro always looks at my cousin (same one) like he wants to fuck her. That said people could well say the same of myself and my current bf looking like siblings as we have both dark hair and eyes and are of similar height - we'd have the same eyebrows if I didn't wax - but does that just mean I'm attracted to dark looks or does it mean I'm weird and sick and trying to go out with my brother? he also looks like my dad in old old photos but I didn't realise that until later.

When I was young I hit myself, mostly about the head but generally all over, pinching and hitting to make the crazy feeling go away. Now I'm older this is how I've learned to cope with most really intense situations.

I've been to councelling and am headed back as I'm still crazy. clearly.

I do not think incest jokes are funny and it's hard to fake laugh like I'm not a victim of it so people don't wonder why I don't think it's funny and their perception of me is changed forever. But I do know that basically everything is funny until it's true so can't go bitching about people making jokes about my one sensitive issue when I make pleanty wrong jokes too.

added to the whole 'abuse issue' at home was the bullying at school from grade 3 til I finished school after year 12. It's only been 8 years since then. I'm very introspective and can generally tell you that I'm this way or that way from this or that experience I had during my formative years. Am I wrong to do this? Is it making excuses? should I be over it all? should I still hate all those cunts who made school and in effect my entire adolescence worse for me? Am I being petty?

I also confess i'm sorry my msg is so long but once I got typing I couldn’t stop and it all seemed to be pertinent to the story.

This is obviously not the main point in your confession, but just out of curiosity are you a guy or girl? Would make things a little clearer.

I work in the arts, and look down upon the anti-intellectual, consumerist, football-worshipping majority. That said, I think modern dance is a wank. I feel like the kid in The Emperor's New Clothes. If I'm at a performance, I want to shout, "But it's boring! And self-indulgent! And...and boring!" Ah.

I think you mean me but if not sorry, I'm a girl.

I have been wondering about the whole children and sexual play thing a lot lately. I actually believe there's nothing wrong with it until society names it and places shame upon it. I think it's probably normal learning behaviour that your told is shameful after the fact. And now you feel bad. And now you're going to let it affect your whole adult life. But you were an innocent little child and it was fun and felt good. Forgive yourself.

Yeh sorry I was referring to you.
Thanks for the clarification.
Dont apologies for the long confession, much better than ones who are fake and attention seeking.
I hope everything gets better.

MissLongConfession, that's quite inspiring in a strange way. It shows strength that you're able to put out your story in albeit anonymous blog.
I was also confused and don't understand your guilty feelings.

It’s important that you understand that the fact that you feel guilt shows that you are a good person, you have a conscious otherwise you would feel nothing. People make worse decisions on a daily basis and feel nothing including highly placed politicians, managers and sales people. Some of them can wreck people’s lives without feeling anything.

I hope none of the guilt you feel is due to your
brothers, they’ve gone onto having a family so they obviously got over it and they were just as complicit as you if not worse.

It’s harder to know with the girls. You obviously feel some guilt there, it might be worth talking to them, you might find that it was just sexual experimentation to them and you are worry about nothing.

The bullying at school, I guess you could be like me and many others who spent years feeling guilty for the actions taken to escape the bullying. I’ve only recently got over it and I’m quite a bit older than you. It’s important that you realize that you were bullied not because of you but because of the person bullying you, they probably identified that you are sensitive and an easy target for them.

I have six kids who call me dad, I spend a lot of time with each explaining to them why the kids at school act the way they do. You and I didn’t have that, you need to realize that, your parents should have been helping you and your teachers should have done better, it never should have gone on so long. I’m amazed you stayed at school to year 12.

If you bf knows what you’ve been through and he’s saying that crap to you then get rid of him. You’ve been through enough and you only need positive influences in your life now. I know it’s hard for you to separate from something where someone cares for you in some ways but you need someone who understands and supports you.

He was the best sex I ever had, but it wasn't enough. I chose the second-best instead.

To MissLongConfession: I don't know if it's any consolation, but I think many young kids play some sort of sexual games. I used to do so around the ages of 6-8 with my school friends, which involved exposing ourselves to each other in various ways. Thinking back, any adult would have been horrified by what we were doing ‒ but it didn't make any of us feel bad at the time, and did us no harm either then or now.

If you didn't feel wrong or guilty back then, there's no point feeling bad in retrospect. And for the same reasons, I don't think you harmed the other girls you played with either.

I was also bullied a lot at school, and was a very shy person as a teenager as a consequence. And just as I was getting over that, an event happened in my life that made me more cautious and shy once more. I didn't start getting past these events until I was almost in my thirties.

But here's the empowering thing. What I've come to realise is that you are what you make yourself. You have the ability to be charming, to be witty, to shine: all you have to do is be ready to take that first leap of faith and rediscover your trust in yourself.

One of my friends ‒ who's almost always right! ‒ reckons that you're never over something until you can laugh about it. And I think it's good advice: humour has such a healing power in this world. We all make mistakes, or have misfortunes happen to us; the real trick is to be able to forgive ourselves, laugh and move on.

I made the worst mistake of my life a year ago, and now I know I cannot live without her.
She is my air.

i can't tell if i actually love her or if i love the way she adores me. the reason i am confused is because i have convinced myself i am someone who would be more likely to love someone's adoration than to truly love them.

some of my behaviour suggests i love her, and some suggests i do not. i think about her constantly, will do anything to keep her happy and prize her company above all others'.

but i fantasize about relationships with people who don't exist or people who do, people from my past and friends as i make them. i would never act on these fantasies. not ever. and i have always been prone to having them....they're pretty much the same ones i was having before i met her....they're actually pretty much the same ones i was having when i hit puberty, but they truly give me pause. i am excited by the attention of others, even though it's never genuinely reciprocated by me. i like flirting and feeling attraction but it only extends to a light-hearted school yard crush type of thing.

i don't want to waste her time as i.....love her dearly. but i am plagued with this uncertainty and i don't want to do the wrong thing or make the wrong choice.

she is my first rship, so i have nothing to compare this to. i wouldn't want to throw it away in the name of experimentation and learning but i constantly think about doing so.

i could see myself with her forever but i can't see if that would make us both as happy as we could be.

The love of my life has just come back again and I'm scared that this is the third strike and if I miss him he'll be forever gone.

I'm not sure if he's still the love of my life or if I'm just scared I'll never have that again.

And in the meantime I'm with someone else who is wonderful but who I don't love

I suspect I'm not meant to be with either of them but am too much of a coward to be alone.

I don't feel anything and desperately want to.

I'm amazed there exists people who would rather be with someone they don't love than alone. Who take what they can get rather than what they truly want. Who are willing to live a lie with regret as their companion.

And yet, as I write this, I realise that I am contemplating doing exactly that.

I've kind of always felt like a waste of space.

He's not really my brother.

He's just a guy I slept with in December.

I don't want my friends to know I was his other woman.

I'm jealous of the new girlfriend. Fuck.

Seriously, I'm not like that!

I confess that I just wanted to make the 800th comment.

I am totally in lust with this guy from my Labor Party branch. He's really boring, gruff and conversationally inept and from the Right faction. I have no idea why but even when he's saying the most stupid, offensive things, I just want to jump his bones and hit him at the same time.

Mind you we are both the only people there under the age of 40.

Tomorrow I have to visit the grandmother I don't speak to. It will be the last time. I don't know what to say to her and I'm scared shitless. I hope she doesn't see through me.

I drink at coffee shops mostly for the hot baristas.

I procrastinate over everything (hence adding my $0.02 12 days later)

I'm nearly 30 and still have no idea where my life is going. I drink too much, I've tried to stop but I cave right back in every time. I'm married but still in love with a girl I dated for a month several years ago. I'm afraid to ask my wife for sex because she usually says no and the rejection is the worst pain I've ever experienced, so I stopped asking for it. It took her 6 months to notice that I'd stopped asking.

I can't have sex with my girlfriend because she has a condition for which the top doctors have a name but no known cure. It's not psychological and may be permanent.

It's too private to tell anyone.

Naturally, she has lost desire. There is no daily pain. In some ways, it's worse for me. I am young, healthy and have desire. I am warm, friendly and flirty, I make lots of female friends. All girls are beautiful and sexy in one way or another. Lots of people talk about sex, everyone seems to be having it.

If I stay with her I won't have sex for the rest of my life. Nothing physical is stopping me. Only a sense of "doing the right thing" by my sick girlfriend.

How long can my mental resolve last out? 2 years so far and it's tough. Will I just go postal? Luckily I have a counselor.

Trouble is everyone else thinks we're the perfect couple and should get married.

"damned if I do - damned if I don't"

I am BEVIS.

I didn't visit the grandmother.

I slept in instead.

A girl I know recently told me she was pregnant. As soon as she said it, I knew she was going to have a 'miscarriage' a few days/weeks later, because I knew she was just making it up for attention and time off work. And lo and behold, she did.
I vacillate between hating her for being a manipulative drama queen, and hating myself because... what if it's true? Then I hate her again for making me hate myself, then I hate myself even more for hating her in case it is true... aargh!

I have a friend who's "bipolar" -- she was and still is a manipulative bitch, a drama queen and always looking for ways to make you feel sorry for her.

I don't believe she has bipolar, nor do I believe she was ever pregnant and miscarried. A bad temper does not bipolar make.

She's an old high school friend, and I never want to see her again.

I love my boyfriend a lot but no matter how hard I try I can't reach orgasm with him.
The only way I can is if I think of sex with my ex, who I cheated on my current boyfriend for a few months ago when he was overseas.

when my little sister was a toddler i was changing her nappy (wiping etc) and i'm afraid i may have touched a sensitive part. she has masterbated from a very young age and i feel dirty and ashamed whenever i think of it because it's all my fault.

i am a girl

I am madly in love with a boy who moved away to join the adf a few months ago. I miss him terribly. I know he loves me too, but I'm terrified we'll bugger it up if we try anything long distance. Annoying bastard.

my niece who I'm very certain has had no contact with anything untoward and is only just 2 is presently obsessed with her vajayjay. I'm certain thats a regular thing and not somehting set off by your inadvertant aim.
hugs. I do fully empathise with you though.

I have been with my current partner for a long time but I dont love her. Which is strange because she is the best thing that has ever happened to me, she is smart, funny, loving and understanding... and very attractive. For some reason that I dont know, I would rather be with my dirty slut ex who I hated and wanted to kill. I think about her almost daily and have rape fantasies about her.

thanks 18:53

To Anon 26Mar02:57...

You have just described my situation perfectly.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels that way.

little children naturally explore their bodies from a young age. then they go into the "latency period" - which freud described as a time when children go all "yuck" about sex things. ok, he didn't say "yuck" but you know what i mean. there are boy germs and girl germs and the last thing they want to do is have physical contact. perhaps they still explore their bodies, but it's more private, as would have been taught by parents by then.

to the ashamed person who worried that their wiping on a sensitive area may have triggered some obsession with masturbation. it's not the case, don't worry about it. it's a natural thing to do anyway.

I never really liked you, I thought you were fake.

I really can't stand my nose. Sometimes I think that I would like to get a nose job, and then I realise that this goes against all my values. And then I wish I was someone else, someone whose values do not conflict with facial augmentation.

I wish I had a more interesting nose - like Anjelica Huston or Isabella Rossellini. Young Barbara Streisand with long straight hair - she looked like a lioness.
My nose always looks like its about to start twitching in curiousity.

My 'lover' called me by his exes name, and after an initial tantrum, I realised I don't care.

I do worry about what this says about my self worth though.

I can't stand having sex with my husband but do it to stay in the good books. I feel like a whore.

My partner cheated on me. We had a painful break-up but got back together after a few months. Now, 4½ years later, I realise I still haven't forgiven her. And probably never could.

there's a girl on the bus. i've been missing my uni classes, timing my bus rides to see her on the bus for the short trip home. never said a word to her. prob never will. there's a reason why my learner's drivers license expiries tomo.

my lover of 4 years has stopped calling me. either the marriage counselling his bitch wife has forced him to undergo is having an effect, or he has found someone else to deceive.

14Mar16:39-if you are who i think you are, then hows the move to canberra? if you are simply a deja vu, then i apologize for intruding. it's just that the word karma got to me from the past.

i confessed last year that i was in love with someone who'd been using me for cybersex for 2 years. i still am, but he deleted me a couple of months back when he hooked up with someone (they've split now). right before, we'd been arranging to meet up. so i pretended to be someone else and flirted with him just so i could still get the online filth. he has no idea and i don't know what i'm trying to achieve. i just want to fuck him and get him out of my system.

he's totally self-obsessed, famous and i know he does the same thing with lots of other girls. but i can still only come if i think about him and i kind of want him to read this, realise it's me and insist on fucking me.

I don't think my vocabulary is good enough to have cyber sex. I wanted to take notes when Dan Kelly was pasting pages from that book 'how to talk dirty' onto the augie march myspace page, but don't think even that would help. Can't help thinking that sex is a lot of work for a muscle spasm.

* I am a grammar/spelling freak and yet I just typed "anonymouse" in the 'Your name:' field.

* I'm 26 this year and have realised the last 10 or so years of my romantic 'career' have been a sham. None of my partners have actually loved me - let alone LIKED me - and I've forced every one of them into intense relationships. I made a pact with myself that those days are in my past and in doing so, have realised I have no idea about men, or love, or anything.

* I just found a pube on my keyboard.

i am young and relatively successful. i'm scared i'm working my youth away. but i'm scared that if i enjoy my youth, i'll fuck up my career.

I hate everyone that thinks I consider them my best friend.
I yell at people for being judgemental, when really Im just too forgiving.
I blame my mum for my "depression" because I really do believe its her fault. Her genes, where we live, I didnt ask for any of it and she gets mad at me for hating it. Id blame my Dad too if I saw him more.
People think Im smart, when in fact Im a complete dumbass.
I pretend to be all independant, when people have more power over me than they realise. I hate myself for it.
Yeah, theres probably more.

16Mar17:33 - Be loud and proud of it! Seriously, girls will be your best friend, and you never know who they could set you up with! lol. People arent mind readers, and you never know who you might've missed because you werent open about who you are. Its a good thing, embrace it.

I'm gay also, but only sometimes.

I feel about the same as "late night anon", "not brave enough", "Anonymous 13Mar15:12", and so so many more. I hate it because I know how I feel and dont want others to be in the same boat.
Reading these makes me realised Im not as alone as I thought and I am all at the same time. I thought there was something wrong with me, now I know the world just sucks and apparently theres no hope of bouncing back. Depression, regret and shame has become the natural order of things.

Hey Kristy - I too daydream about having superpowers. Lol. But I still usually die, sacrificing myself for someone who wouldnt do the same for me.
I daydream a lot. Its to the point where Im having trouble distinguishing reality from what I've made up.
I believe I could easily end up insane, and Id be happy with that - reality sucks.

I sometimes wonder if I only like guys when I think that maybe possibly I have some tiny chance with them, and push away guys that I know I actually do, not because I hate them I like I tell myself.
Does that make sense?

I think the milshake Im drinking is off, but not past its supposed use by date.

I used a peach as a sex toy.
The next day my 6 year old daughter ate the peach.

I confess Ive become addicted to this site.

I love my girlfriend of 3 years, but still allow myself to nurture crushes for two close friends. And I'm a terrible flirt.

I once went back to a fat chicks place in LA...snorted all her drugs and fukced off when she went to the toilet

i think rove is a shit show and his jokes suck and the only reason pple watch him is cuz his wife died.

I still have a teddy bear.

06Apr21:23 You're a dick. If you dont like him, dont watch him. Just coz you dont like doesnt mean others dont think he's funny. And why would people only watch him for that reason? There is no logic in that.

Anon 17.20, you're bisexual dear.

I would love to have one night stands, rough sex with girls who are complete strangers...even though i get a lot of sex already!

I wish my sister's suicide attempt had succeeded.

I slept with my mother in law, I shouldnt have..but did and still regret doing it till date!

i'm hitting refresh and nothing is happening

Anonymous 21MAR21:55 where do all the girls like you hide out?!?

Anon-Indian - I wish I knew where you were getting all that sex from!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Due to the cruel wonders of serendipity I found out my girlfriend took someone else home with her from Cherry Bar on Saturday night... I'm still wondering whether I should confront her or wait and see if she tells me herself. Either way, I think I would rather not have found out. Damn the eyes of friends who happen to be in the wrong places.

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and Ia had ever made

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back

There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper

There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever

[ It's All Coming Back To Me Now lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby

When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)

AHH I THINK I JUST ATE PINEAPPLE! Ewww!

I'm having casual sex with a ginger, and it's amazing. One of us goes to the other's place and we joke and laugh and have fantastic sex. Sometimes I get juice and maybe a brownie afterwards if I'm really lucky. I really like him but I don't want anything else, and we never hang out or even talk when sex isn't involved.

Not a confession really, a couple people already know, it's just exciting.

P.S: I also come into work about once a week with a massive dirty hickey and no one says a thing. Bliss

I am never getting out of this job.

I can't believe there are so many people who cheat on their partners. I'm appalled.

p.s I hate my job

I think the old lady next door is dead. She left a note a month ago, asking for me to visit her and I never did. There haven't been lights on for weeks. I wake up at night wondering if I can smell dead person.

I really want to have sex with some girl who has posted here....

I smell dead people...
All the time. They're everywhere.

Hey Anon-Indian,

I would like to check ya out...Ive heard Indians are masters of the various positions !

i have a thing for midgets.

Man, you can really see the decline of this page reading through the confessions...just got dumber and dumber.

Anonymous @ 04Apr21:27

If you're talking about who I assume you are talking about, try not to get too worked up about him. I've had it & it's not worth having.

i fuck everything up

I am in love with you.

I wish you would talk to me.

I wish I could stop thinking about you.

I don't know what I want anymore.

Hey 28Apr14:42,

Sucks dont it? Right there with ya.

I'm really rather content with my lot in life... but feel stupid because of it! Contentment is deeply uncool amongst people my age (mid-20s). My generation seems to need something to whinge about.

I wish I could stop checking back here everyday to see if somebody else has confessed. It's been a month! But I was so well rewarded with the last few posts. They are so sweet. I confess that I now appear to have 11 cats and haven't told my family about them because I know they will rouse on me.

When I first began reading this blog, after only perusing three entries, I imagined the writer to be a middle age, a-little-more-to-love sex kitten with a penchant for tight fitting skirt-suits. I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered (silly me) that I've been waking up to the sounds of Ms. Fits for some time now.

(...and I scould myself deeply for not realizing this sooner)